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Original poster

Husband been booking prostitutes

80 replies

unsureonwhattodo · 02/02/2019 23:35

Hi,

I'm looking for help, I really don't know what to do. I have just found emails from my husband trying to arrange to see two different prostitutes. I'm away having a holiday with family with our 6 month old baby as he has a lot of work on this week. I'm ashamed to say I checked his emails, something I've never done before but I've felt uneasy. He's emailed one woman asking how it works and making an appointment. He cancelled the appointment because of the weather. He asked the other for an appointment, she replied the next day, then he said he was busy but would definitely like to see her at some point. When I called him out on it he apologised over and over, said he was embarrassed and was doing it to get a kick as porn doesn't do it for him anymore and he wouldn't have gone through with it and felt stupid. Has anyone got any experience in this or advice? I feel lost, unattractive and so so sad xxx

OP posts:
flatulencebythebucket · 02/02/2019 23:44

You're away & he's arranging prostitutes.

Please do not believe it is an extension of porn because it's not.

Sounds like he would of gone through with it if the weather was a little better. For me all trust would be gone as it's very sneaky.

AllGoodDogs · 02/02/2019 23:48

I'm so sorry 😔 this would be the end of the road for me. I know I would always be looking for signs of cheating etc. Only you know if this is something you could come back from. How long are you away for?

SandyY2K · 02/02/2019 23:48

It would be a dealbreaker for me. I'd be unable to get the trust back.

Dragongirl10 · 02/02/2019 23:50

So very sorry op, it would be divorce for me, end of....

JiltedJohnsJulie · 02/02/2019 23:52

So sorry OP, I couldn't trust him again. If the weather had been better he would have DTD.

Watching too much porn isn't an excuse either.

GrandmaJane · 02/02/2019 23:52

Get rid. He is a cheat and a liar. Get checked for STIs.

ISmellBabies · 02/02/2019 23:53

Why do they always say they were just arranging it for kicks? Is he normally aroused by admin? It's just bollocks. He wasn't arranging it for the sake of arranging it, he was arranging it because he wanted to pay to have sex with someone else. He's only sorry he got caught.

NotTheFordType · 03/02/2019 00:21

Contrary to popular MN belief, there are in fact men who "arrange" dozens of bookings with dozens of hookers, and then cancel "due to weather" or "my child is ill" or "my mum died" or "my car broke down" or "got called into work".

They are time wasters and text wankers and they are the bane of our fucking lives.

Having inside knowledge of how he's actively seeking to disrupt an independent business woman's schedule, I'd be even less forgiving than if he'd actually turned up. But appreciate you won't share that viewpoint.

You've either scared the shit out of him and he won't do it again, or, you've tipped your hand and he will now know to hide his activities better. Unfortunately none of us, hooker or civvie, know which.

BoglingToAswad · 03/02/2019 00:36

They are time wasters and text wankers and they are the bane of our fucking lives.

Yep.

We get very good at recognising time wasters, and he is almost certainly one.

If I had to guess I would say say he would never actually visit a sex worker, but in a committed relationship I think this behaviour is not much better.

Sorry you are going through this Flowers

SuziQ10 · 03/02/2019 00:52

Yeah right just arranging it.
More fool you if you go back home and pretend everything's fine. You've got one of those husbands who shags prostitutes on the side.
And you've got a small baby.

What would have happened had you not found out / called him out? You won't know now. But can guarantee it's worse than he'd admit to.

SandyY2K · 03/02/2019 01:25

Arranging it would be enough to end it whether he turned up or not.

I'm a bit Hmm at the independent business woman comment though.

Just say it like it is...self employed prostitute. Business woman is rather misleading and misrepresenting it.

I'd be done and if he tried to protest ... I'd be asking if he wanted his family to know what he'd done.

shame on him

SoleBizzz · 03/02/2019 01:38

Keep the e-mails. It'd be divorce for me. I'd never get over his sneaky, vile way. Have ypu had anSTD check? He will do this again. He WILL. No matter what he promises.

Original poster
unsureonwhattodo · 03/02/2019 02:17

Was meant to be home Friday but stuck because of the weather. Haven't had STI check only found out a couple of hours ago. I'll be honest I hadn't even thought about the girls who are losing money, selfish as it sounds it's not my lookout. Thank you for all of your replies I'm just so lost. I can't believe he's stooped this low. It's hard because it's not the sort of thing I'd like to admit to my family or friends, I feel so alone. I have a bit of baby weight to lose and I'm not as fit and toned as I was, but it's made me feel awful about myself. This time last month I was encouraging a lads holiday too! Time to give my head a wobble I think..

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley1 · 03/02/2019 02:35

You have a 6 month old and he’s contacting hookers.

I’d want out.

Aquamarine1029 · 03/02/2019 02:40

Stop believing his lies and stop trying to make excuses for him. He's a fucking pig and sleeping with prostitutes. You can't possibly get rid of him fast enough.

Original poster
unsureonwhattodo · 03/02/2019 03:33

Sorry when did I make an excuse for him?

OP posts:
Fedupofthisrubbish · 03/02/2019 03:33

I also have a bit of baby weight to lose after having my baby six months ago. My partner tells me I'm beautiful all the time and not to worry about it. I still feel sensitive but I remind myself I have a perfect baby and the small amount of weight will come off.

I really cannot imagine where I would begin to try to forgive what you have experienced especially six months after having a child. I am not saying its ok at any time of your life, just pointing out how difficult it is to cope with anything when you're worn out and sleep deprived.

Personally I would show him the door. You carried his child, you are encouraging lads holidays and he doesn't appreciate any of it? This is the disrespect he has shown you. He does not deserve you.

Original poster
unsureonwhattodo · 03/02/2019 03:34

Also if I was believing him I wouldn't be posting saying I'm lost what do I do etc..

OP posts:
Original poster
unsureonwhattodo · 03/02/2019 03:37

Thank you. He does say he still finds me attractive but the more I look at it actions speak louder than words. On a separate note congratulations on your baby!

OP posts:
Limpshade · 03/02/2019 04:28

Holy shit. There would be no going back for me after that. To do that at any time would probably be a dealbreaker for me but to do it when I've recently had a baby and am very vulnerable? I couldn't forgive it.

Weenurse · 03/02/2019 04:35

How are you going to approach things?
After your STI check, you need to move half the savings into an account he can’t access and think about whether this is a forgivable offence.
You also need to talk to someone in RL.

AdoreTheBeach · 03/02/2019 04:40

Similar happened with friends of ours. Started with porn, supposedly visiting prostitutes for non-sexual arrangement (which is what she was told when first found out), then sexual arrangement (what was really happening, which she later found out). Tried to blame stress of wife’s condition for it. Was very interesting how quickly the divorce went through.

adayatthebeach · 03/02/2019 04:51

How do you get a kick out of booking a prostitute? He said he wanted to meet her what more do you need to know?

Original poster
unsureonwhattodo · 03/02/2019 05:02

Definitely getting that done, sorry what is RL?

OP posts:
Weenurse · 03/02/2019 05:03

Real life