What’s going on here?! Red flag?? Me being precious?

[user000006590]

I’ve been dating someone for a few weeks. At first I thought he was very mature, calm, sensible, good at conversation. All was well. However I initially went to see him as logistically it made sense. Recently though he’s come to mine and this is what’s happened...

The times he’s come to mine he’s said the houses opposite look like council houses (they’re Victorian semis?), that the people are rude (he’s not spoken to any of my neighbours) and that he thinks the area is rough and my house is lovely but small. My home is on the outskirts of a city in one of the most affluent areas. I have a small house because it’s expensive. He’s also said he couldn’t bear living round here because the people are too snobby.

What’s weird is he has now asked me to look at a house with him about fifteen mins down the road, in an even more affluent area than the one I am in. The area he mocked only a few weeks ago. This would be a big move for him as he currently lives in the sticks opposite his parents, over an hour away.

He’s already been critical of the estate agent - they apparently should appreciate his business more as he’s looking at extremely pricey homes!!

He has a job that brings in masses of money so he’s no reason to have a chip on his shoulder about stuff. He strikes me as very insecure perhaps? I’ve worked hard to be where I am and I’m happy with my life so haven’t taken kindly to his comments which I believe are offensive.

Red flag or something else? Me being precious?

Yeh, I'm all for the benefit of the doubt but he's trying to undermine you from the off. I've been married to one of these, they give you the signs early - notice them and pop him back in the pond.

Nob

Sounds awful to me, I’d bin him off.
Slagging off council houses, slagging off your home for being small, slagging off the estate agent......see a running theme here?!

If he’s like this already (when he should be on his best behaviour!) imagine what he’d be like in a few months?

Thank you, next! 😉

Get rid

He sounds controlling. Why does it matter to him where you live?

Not normal nice person behaviour at all.

Ugh. The point of dating is to check each other out. He fails the sniff test. Next.

Your spidey senses are tingling ...it’s your instinct kicking in and it’s warning you, chuck him back in the pond.

Listen to your instincts....our instincts are rarely wrong,

I’m married to one like this. Take it from an emotionally exhausted and drained person who knows, living with somebody like this ruins your life and mental health. Get rid now. Find somebody positive. I wish I had.

If it’s so bad why does he want to live there. Had he thought about moving before he met you ? Very odd.

I moved nearer to my fella who I met on OLD. But I already owned the property and had friends in the area he was just an added bonus if that makes sense. Lots of his friends thought it suspicious that I was moving nearer him (many thought we’d move in..he has a big house in a posh bit) we didn’t I have my town centre flat and he’s 5 mins away suits us both.

Whatever he is, he just doesn't sound nice. Tell him you don't think he'd fit in anywhere near you and bin him!

That was my sense! Just worried maybe I’d misinterpreted something!

It’s all quite odd, he has a job where he makes a lot of money, but apparently is massively narrow minded. I also have a good job but earn much less. I find his attitude repulsive!

Part of me wondered if he had deep set insecurity. But even if he does and this is the outcome it’s welrd?

What made me think twice was his sudden desire to view a house over here?! Strange thing to do in a place you slag off. Hence why I was second guessing myself!

The trouble with men from a wealthy family is that sooner or later you realise they're looking down their nose at you too. If you marry them or live with them, they think "you wouldn't be where you are if it wasn't for me!" You're always inferior.

You have only known him a couple of weeks and he wants your opinion pn a house for himself.

Hes basically going to look at it with you, turn his nose up & remind you how shit it is around there (though not true) & that as he is "considerably richer than you" he will buy a mansion because he can.

Tosspiece.

Fuck that.

Single that’s an interesting thought!

I’m from a fairly ok background financially, though now you say this I think it’s true he has looked down on me! In fact the other day I commented I sometimes look on rightmove but couldn’t afford to move right now so it was just for fun. He was questioning why I couldn’t afford it in almost surprise and pity..... I already have a decent home !!

yourfly hadn’t thought of that.

Makes me want to go to find out haha

He doesn’t sound very pleasant tbh.
Negativity is very draining and unattractive imo.

And superiority even worse!

He'll be criticising you next. Oh wait, he already is.

Dump pronto.

I’ve been dating someone for a few weeks

A few weeks?

What the actual fuck?

Get rid.

Nah he sounds like an arsehole.

@dunin I’m so sorry. I had an ex like this. for you. I hope the rest of your life is kind to you, and if not, that you find the opportunity to get away.

It's a red flag that he's a whining git. Do you need that in your life?