Online dating profile red flags

[twattymctwatterson]

Semi lighthearted but after a few years of on and off, unsuccessful OLD, there are things I see on a profile that immediately turn me off. These are;

"Open minded" (will try to push you into polyamory/threesomes, things you aren't comfortable about sexually, then make out like you're repressed if you don't take part)
"Dominant" (controlling)
"I don't do vanilla" (I can't ejaculate unless I'm hurting or humiliating you)
"Are there any good women out there?" (I hate women and will constantly compare to to past women who have hurt me)

Does anyone else have similar red flags?

"Easy going" = Please don't bother me with your crap - I am what I am - like it or lump it (it's also painfully unimaginative).

"No Drama" = don't bother me with your crap - with knobs on and some misogamy thrown in.

and:
"Haven't filled my profile in! - I'll come back to this later!" (they never do)

and:
the guys who are 55 and put their preferred age range as 35 - 50. I want to know what's wrong with those five years.

If a guy mentions his ex (especially on the first date and no need to ) and follows it up by saying she was a 'psycho' that is a massive red flag.

Immature men who treat women like dirt always say their ex's were psychotic.

Looking for my partener in crime

Anyone who uses the word ‘ladies’ I hate it

Partner in crimes is so crigneworthy! Makes me squirm

Anything negative about past experience. Describing himself as old fashioned, gentleman- usually means deeply misogynistic.

Lately I’ve seen a lot of

‘Don’t ask me how I am’
‘Don’t bother if you’ve....’
Lots of men seem very petty - but it might be the age range I’m looking at, if someone has a list of don’t to me it makes them seem like an arsehole

'Nice guy' if he feels the need to say it, he probably isn't.

"Ladies" is the worst! I had a guy messaged me with

"Hello Dear" I replied:

"you utter fuckwit"

he replied

"Thankyou"

Maybe he was some kind of masochist.

I know guys have their lists too. I know they hate:

"relaxing with a nice glass of wine"

More annoying than dodgy I suppose.

Stating he's laid back....he won't be.

Anyone who says "cheeky chappie" - what are you, 14?!?!?

And the blokes who dont fill their profiles in and quite obviously havent bothered their arses to read yours. Block and delete.

Harsh but fair

I have a 'hidden' account for when I can be arsed with it all again, so just had a browse. How about this?

"Lasting impressions always count so bring your lips lol"

Several guys had pics well selfies of them at the 9/11 memorial site. Just awful.
Lots of gym and urinal selfies too....all a big red flag.

Couple of guys have blacked out their exs face.

Just pathetic

Clueless.

Why would you post pics with your children as well?

Selfies with the camera looking up their nostrils. Like they really don't think they need to try to take a decent pic - but I bet they're judging yours.

Yeah I hate seeing pics with their children, it proves they have no common sense

In my age range (50s/60s) I've seen pix of blokes with young GRANDCHILDREN and wondered if the parents knew about it.

A degree. "From the University of Life"

Any posing in the gym selfies.

Any pics posing in front of their car.

The main pic wearing sunglasses. Why?

"Cheeky chappie" = my 2 mates and my mum think I'm funny.

Car analogies! - "one careful owner" "road tested"

Yep to all of these. Also gym selfies, pictures of drugged up tigers. "No baggage", my DD isn't baggage thanks, "looking for s good woman to keep me in line" (I'll fuck around and treat you like shite and it'll be your responsibility for not keeping me in line). Urgh why do we do it to ourselves? 😂

I remember one that said - don't bother to contact me if you've never been spanked and liked it, live somewhere ridiculous ie not London, are teetotal and don't like ceroc. Lol, i met him, ate a really expensive dinner and nicked his fags.

I once saw

'Get in touch, I'm picky but polite 😉'

Pictures with snapchat filters, or with the guy pouting or sticking his tongue out. Bleurgh.

Agree with the hatred of “partner in crime”and “ladies” and will add to the collection “housetrained”