Online dating profile red flags

[twattymctwatterson]

Semi lighthearted but after a few years of on and off, unsuccessful OLD, there are things I see on a profile that immediately turn me off. These are;

"Open minded" (will try to push you into polyamory/threesomes, things you aren't comfortable about sexually, then make out like you're repressed if you don't take part)
"Dominant" (controlling)
"I don't do vanilla" (I can't ejaculate unless I'm hurting or humiliating you)
"Are there any good women out there?" (I hate women and will constantly compare to to past women who have hurt me)

Does anyone else have similar red flags?

Soulmate --- Some dippy romantic who never grew up
Curl up on Couch---- Boring nights in front of TV/Netflix
Profile picture with group of girls---Usually the fat one
Active--Walks around shopping centre
Must love Pets--Dog/Cat sleeps in bed and treated as child replacement.
Loyal--Every former partner cheated on them
Bubbly--Alcoholic rabbit boiler

This thread is .

Just a note on “vague professions”.

I think sometimes people don’t want to put their exact job title as it is very very easy to track people down and we’re all strangers on the internet? LinkedIn, a first name and a few details about career history and you can get all someone’s personal stuff

Eg dolphin tamer is often some sort of military in-joke? If you look at the photos of guys with that job title they might have one which gives he game away.

As I think technically if you’re serving you need to be discrete about it, etc, etc

Or I’ve met guys with very good jobs who are intentionally vague or leave stuff blank because they don’t want women who want them for their job title.

Mentioning Alcohol on john is section
Mentioning Cuddles
Mentioning Fun
Talking about how great they are.
Being rude about other people s profiles.
Making lists of what they want in a partner.
Only wanting someone with the same music and film taste.
Saying they want to start a family soon.
Saying they don't want a hook up or one night stand..

hobby

The topless photos where they cut the head off.

Group photos where you have no idea which one is on the profile.

Photos where they're up a mountain or miles away on a beach. I want to know what the person in the profile looks like, not the landscape.

Photos with a woman in. Doesn't matter if it's your wife, sister or whoever. They do not need to be in a profile picture. As for using your wedding photo...

It's easy to take photos and crop them these days, so you could easily cut out the unnecessary people.

This is brilliant. I'm just about to go on a date tonight with a guy who has his arm round a girl in his MAIN profile photo, could be a massive red flag and I'm hoping it is not his ex - I will find out and report back if so!!

Absolutely hate the "my weekend was fine thanks" or other negative "don't bother messaging if you are..." - just says "arsey and critical" to me.

And what the hell is wrong with just saying hi anyway, it is the normal opener to almost every conversation in real life, and don't mandate how you want me to message you! Especially on Bumble where the woman has to write the opener, it just gets bloody exhausting trying to come up with a witty message every single time, particularly when so many guys -don't message back obviously don't check it before the 24 hour expiry ;)

So, just about everything that appears in profiles is a red flag!

Oddly enough I also find “too good” or too wordy, complicated, detailed profiles to be a red flag?

Like they’ve spent ages crafting a “hard sell” to make up for the fact that they aren’t really that attractive IRL?

I mean a few photos, brief note about some interests (you can tell from the style of writing and overall tone and maybe “level of education” if you have anything in common) and they often turn out to be attractive or at least dateable in person.

But most normal heterosexual working adult males don’t have fifteen photos of themselves in various flattering poses.

Plus a profile which obviously has taken loads of work/editing/sends a message that it’s been around for ages makes me think they’ve been rejected lots of times and are trying to “game” the system by coming across as more attractive than they are?

My favourite profile pic ever was of a bar, with a smooth domed head at the bottom cut off just above the eyes. I had to message the guy immediately just to say mate, you are making a fool of yourself!

Really bad photos. As in, no thought about composition at all - taken in a bathroom or anywhere with random people in the background. Super-ugly selfies - I mean WHY? Including children in every shot - as though they cannot 'stand alone' as a dating prospect. But what really stands out to me is how few take any care with their photos. Yes, there are the gym buffs with every photo a selfie showing rippling biceps but that is almost as bad as it demonstrates that all they are interested in is themselves.

The point being, if they cannot be bothered to put up a good quality, nicely composed photo of themselves wearing clean clothes that suit their physique - maybe in a stunning setting or some feature that piques your interest - then how much effort are they going to put into a date?

On the flip side of this, when I have put up a few thoughtfully-composed photos which have elicited responses it is disappointing how many seem to think that 'negging' is the way forward. So rather than responding with something like: 'nice photo' which at least acknowledges the effort you have put in, you get an insult. Why oh why would anyone do that? Nothing could be more of a turn-off. You might as well just pour cold water over the whole thing.

But then I think the whole OLD thing is hideous. I know some people have 'found love' or whatever it is they are looking for, but you have to kiss an awful lot of frogs. I just can't be bothered and would rather meet people in real life. Easier said than done admittedly.