I've fallen for my FWB

[Elove1]

Hey, im new here and need some advice lol!

So i met this guy in my early 20s (im now 30) and he will be soon. We met off some dating site and literally lived down the road from one another. It was purely sex back then. The sex was just sex (wham bam thankyou mam) he was a bit of a bad boy, had alot of energy in him and I knew I wasnt the only girl he was seeing. I did like him back then, but never said anything.
Fast forward to when I was 26, we were still sleeping with eachother but it ended when i got in a relationship. We didnt have any contact.
3 years later, that relationship ended and moved about 10 mins up the road from him. I found myself back on that dating site and found him on there. We started messaging again. He was also coming out of a messy relationship. Within weeks, he was coming back round for sex.

We've never spoken about 'what this is'. But it generally feels different. Hes alot more calmer, almost like a different person, like hes grown up a bit. At first, it was just really good sex. We'd hook up when we could (when my housemate wasn't home) but just recently, the sex has changed. Its slowed right now, almost like making love. He pleases me like no other man has and I cannot get enough of him. We seem to have a routine when he comes over; i make us lunch, we hang out in bed watching films and chatting about life, we have mindblowing sex, we hang out some more and he goes home. It's now been 8 months and today he came over when my housemate was in and he shook her hand and said hello lol. I've been feeling like this for a while and once did send him a text about it which he read but never replied to :(
He calls me beautiful to my face, passionately kisses me when he leaves. Hes polite and charming and ticks all the right boxes. But today, he asked me twice whats on my mind as im quiet. "So come on, tell me what's up. Why don't you just tell me?" It's like he knows what I wanna say, but im too much of a coward to say it.
On the one hand, i just wanna tell him Im head over heels for him but there's the fear of rejection. 2) I dont want it to be awkward, if he doesn't like me in the same way, atleast I'd know and to be honest, don't want to lose out on the sex!

Someone help me out here! Do I bite the bullet, tell him and risk it all, or do I just suck up it and enjoy having multiple orgasms lmao!!?

Did things change re the sex after you sent that text? Looks like he is stepping into a bf role but not said it.

To be sure though, you need to ask him how he feels.

I've been in this situation a few times and it's awful!

I would deffo tell him how you feel though because if he thinks it's just cause and you're FWB, he might think he can just do what he wants and go with someone else as well..

Just send him a text saying something along the lines of, "I don't want this to be awkward between us, but I think there's feelings involved now.. blah blah" and see what he says.

You never know, he might feel the same way! 😉

Good luck though

Im in the same situation. He one min wants more then hes not ready for a relationship. Trouble is they get the benefits of a relationship without the commitment.

The fact he didn't reply to the text you sent, which you then followed up with 'forget about it' or something along those lines, makes me think he really doesn't want anything more than the current situation. Why not suggest a weekend away or going out to dinner or doing something other than having mindblowing sex?
If he reacts in a 'wtf are you thinking?' way then you have your answer. If he really isn't interested in a relationship, then don't waste too much more time with him. There are other men around and not all just want FWB - and you can still have fantastic sex in a committed relationship.

I really hope that he likes you back! Good luck!

Oooo love story in the making

Good luck OP, have you told him yet?? Hope you get the answer you want

Hey, no Ive not told him yet. Im gunna wait till I see him in person.
@laughingcow99 - erm, yes I would say it did. I also text him a while back suggesting curling up in bed with a film, and ever since then, he's picked a film to watch and we've cuddled up and watched it (well, atleast half lol)

Make sure to update us! youve got nothing to lose and I think in person is actually a better idea than text.

It’s valentines coming up, could you maybe ask if he’s got anything planned or would like to make plans with you?

All the best either way, hope he feels the same way as you. Keep us updated

Marking place. Good luck!

I hope it goes well for you Op.

You need to tell him - things sound like they have changed a bit.

You need to tell him. If he doesn’t feel the same way then you need to know before you get in any deeper.

Been with mine nearly 5 years!
He told me he'd fallen in love with me with a love heart sweet!

Glitterypink thats nice to hear. Im in love with mine but he says he doesnt want any relationship or commitment!
He doesn't know i love him, just knows i got feelings.

Definitely tell him. It sounds like he might know...hence he's asking you what's up. The fact it's more of a caring relationship than before suggests he may have changed. Maybe 4 months ago he didn't know what to say. And now he does? Good luck. Either way you HAVE to know.

So a bit of a development. Yesterday I messaged him, asking if he'd like to be more exclusive with the fact that we dont sleep with anybody else but eachother. He replied that he thought we were on the understanding of that already.
Well it was news to me lol

😍😍😍😍👏👏👏👏👏

@Elove1 🥰🥰🥰😬😬😬👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

You thinking this is a good thing?

Awh this is going to end in loveeee ❤️❤️❤️

I'm currently free falling for mine, but the feeling (I think) is mutual although we haven't actually acknowledged we are boyfriend and girlfriend (sounds wierd at 41 to say boyfriend) but fallen into that role. We started seeing each other almost 2 years ago not long after a very long term relationship ended badly (mine, abusive etc). We saw each other at least 4 times a week for 6 months, both started to get feelings, both pulled away. He couldnt understand how I wanted a relationship so soon after being single again (I actually didnt really, he knows that now) and he encouraged me to go off and have a bit of fun. I did for 6 months, he saw someone else during that time, I had a lot of fun on tinder.

We started seeing each other again early summer (maybe May time) and it was strictly sex for a few months, then it has developed into something more. We still have some things we are working through, mainly me learning about being myself again without fear. He told me last night he felt that he was more than lucky, that he must have done something in a previous life to be so lucky to be seeing me and us to have what we have. Neither of us have said the love word, but thats ok, we show how we feel. Sex is the best I have ever had, I feel so safe and warm with him. We are taking it slowly in terms of the kids etc (he has met them briefly once as a friend helping me out).

We are very calm in each others company, no stress or overthinking. He is kind, consdierate and very sweet (and sexy, and super manly), and we just fit well. He is a very open minded person but he has a strong moral charactrer too. Im enjoying getting to know him (this all sounds very gushy!).

I hope it works out for you OP, I imagine he is probably feeling some confusion from your side too. Take it slowly, be honest but also protect your heart too.And update!

@Elove1 yes!!!

As this means he's not seeing anyone else, only you.
Which is a start!

I'd maybe get him a jokey card for Valentine's Day.. something like this? www.bantercards.com/valentines/i-like-you-lots

I thought the idea was you did not fall in love with FWBs? I have always thought that it is pretty difficult for women to detach emotionally and this thread more than hunts at that.