Is he going to have an affair with a younger woman?

[forbackwards]

Long-time reader, but had to start an account today to get help.

Is my boyfriend going to cheat on me? We met a year ago after my divorce and things have been amazing (he's great with my two kids) and then this younger couple moves into town. The wife is flirty and literally younger than his own son (by a year!) He calls her ‘kid’ and everything and I’m sure he sees her that way, but other signs point to something else. They text a lot and sign off ‘xx’ – he only started doing this after he met her. He also asks her to do favours for him that I could easily do, like creating an email account. She stares at him with stars in her eyes and twirls her hair when he’s talking and he loves the attention – but I’m worried he’s going to take it further. Then when they hug it’s this ridiculously long hug goodbye…wtf?? It also hurt when he told her husband the other night that he’s lucky because he’s married to the most beautiful woman in the world 🙁 🙁 never heard him say that about anyone but me. The two of them poke fun at each all night when we’re out with friends and it’s like nobody else is there! I don’t know if they just get along really well or I need to be worried about something? My instinct tells me it’s because he likes to feel young (he always hangs out with people much younger than him). Does he see her as a daughter type? PLEASE HELP I need 100% honesty – I am so lost!!

Re read the recent posts on here and agree with others that hes not a keeper. I couldnt trust that lied about spending the day with ow even though it was by omission. Thats guilt whichever way you look at it. Whether its emotional or a quick snog its all the same. He shouldnt want to spend the day with her. Is her husband younger or older? Does yr husband seem more exciting? Not for you to answer really just to consider. Its him thats at fault but she knows whats shes doing abd it takes two to tango.

She isn't your problem he is. This man is meant to be in a relationship with you and is making you feel like shit and now not telling you the truth so he can spend time with her.

Bloody hell, I feel so annoyed with him just reading your posts, @ forbackwards. I agree with others who say she is not your problem but he is. It is very annoying that she goes all girly around him but he should be able to distinguish between appreciating that a young woman is attractive and actively flirting with her. I am so upset on your behalf about the "most beautiful woman" comment - what a twunt!

I would have to end this relationship if I was you. He is showing you little respect and he is behaving like an idiot - dropping you every time she gives him any attention. Is this your first relationship post-divorce? It could be that you have fallen hard for him because you doubted you would find a suitable match following the stress and uncertainty of the future of breaking up with your ex. I definitely found myself reeling over my first break-up following divorce to my children's father. But you would be fine on your own and if you want to, you can find someone who shows you the love and attention you deserve in the future. I don't think this guy sounds like a keeper. Even if this emotional affair fizzles out (if it is just that) you may find you would be paranoid about him behaving inappropriately and flirting too much around other women in the future. Sorry to be blunt but I feel pretty bloody outraged for you! I think it's time he got his comeuppance!

He went on a date with her.

He is still taking you for a mug. A truly committed man would not chase another woman.

He is getting away with denial and minimizing to make you back off. He keeps you sweet for a while, but his endgame is always to reunite with her. Plus, in his eyes, this is not a dealbreaker for you. You saw her resting her hand on his thigh and you are still with him.

The handshake was to fool you and her husband. They have taken things further with their date.

I'm going to go out on a limb and ask: what's her husband like, OP? Is he a nice guy but not terribly assertive, who thinks he's seriously lucked out to be married to her, will believe whatever she tells him and won't dare rock the boat?

You know I’m thinking what’s in it for her with a 20 year age gap. Is you partner particularly well off or wealthy cos I’m struggling to see the attraction for such a young married woman.

You've certainly got a big problem OP.

I've had similar and had to kick up a proper fuss to stop it.

Meant to add above that I would no longer flog this horse. You have already made your case and he continues to gaslight. He will never admit that this is infidelity. He is running things just how he likes it. Cake, eat.

You can take control and end it. Honestly, why would you want to be with a man who treats you with such contempt?

Don’t contact her!!!!! She doesn’t matter. She owes you nothing. She and her behaviour are her OHs problem. He does however owe you loyalty and respect. He is behaving like an absolute dick it’s embarrassing. He has had his head turned and will again once/if this one passes. Come on woman find your self respect and cut him loose.
I’m sorry btw that he turned out to not be who you thought he was.

Tell him to get lost, she how it all pans out for him once he’s free to spend more time with her. She’ll lose interest, her husband will get the hump. He’ll look like the pathetic, idiotic fool he is and come crawling back. Tell him to fuck off.

There is NO WAY I would put up with this behaviour from any man. He’s an utter chump.

OP have you had any relationship problems?

I’m sad to say I’ve been in a situation where I would have been in your OH’s shoes.

I was with someone for 7 years but granted we had some big issues and probably should’ve split up earlier but I met a man at work that I just had amazing chemistry with. I didn’t cheat and I respected my partner. I doubt your OH has cheated but he is disrespecting you.

But the thoughts I had about this man, I felt like I was cheating. Even if I avoided him, if we happened to be in a room full of people it was like he and I were the only ones there, even if it was just from stealing glances over the room. I constantly thought of him and got in a fluster when I spoke to him and we both dragged conversations out because we didn’t want to leave each other’s company.

I don’t think your OH has cheated however I do think they seem to have an undeniable and irresistible connection 😔 but that doesn’t mean he won’t be loyal to you

F10, this situation seems very different. This man is chasing this woman right in front of Forbackwards. They are having an emotional affair (cheating) with some sexual elements and maybe more. Thigh touching and ‘ridiculously long’ hugs. Tummy punching. Ignoring and humiliating Forbackwards while staring and flirting heavily, causing others to think they are a couple. Calling her ‘the most beautiful woman in the world.’ Extended calls during work hours. Frequent texting. His playing her bodyguard and her replacing Forbackwards in doing him favors. Going on day-long dates together. Gaslighting Forbackwards when she expresses her distress and discomfort.

This is an affair, and things have now escalated with the all-day alone time. He is being disloyal and cruel.

Funny planet you live on fl0w3r

This man went on day out with a woman a year younger than his own dd, lied abut it, and has rubbed OP face, nose, and everything in it! He's a scumbag. You deserve better treatment OP. You do think you deserve more than this don't you?

The thing is that this is so difficult for the Op to confront without looking unhinged. She knows what’s going on, other people have noticed, but the two main players are being so deceitful that if Op confronted them together they would just minimise and express their concern for her.

..she's only in a committed relationship with her stbx though
The ow has to answer to her own relationship!

Been here, worn the t shirt. A girl I knew was having and affair and so blatantly she would put one hand on her other man's leg, whilst kissing her boyfriend. In public. Her boyfriend had absolutely no clue his best friend was screwing his girlfriend on the side. Awful awful situation. Those who tried to tell him what was going on were shot down.

3 months later... He left work in a hurry, following a tip off and discovered them both in bed.

Your DH has no respect for you. This behaviour is NOT acceptable and you need to LTB. You Really need to treat yourself to a better behaving partner.