How do I ask my son if he’s gay?

[SingleDadStill]

Just that really...I’m a single parent, his mum died a long time ago and me and him are really close, always have been. So I don’t want to ruin our great relationship but I want to support him...he’s 15, nearly 16

I’m gay and it didn’t go down well with my mum.

I wouldn’t ask him. I’d just drop into conversation things that show it isn’t an issue, things that show you’re positive about diversity and have no prejudice. When the opportunity arises tell him how great it is that things have changed since your day and young people are more accepting of diversity these days, that nobody should be afraid to be themselves.
Talk about gay people as though it’s the most natural thing in the world.

I would say, rather than using gender-neutral words, use both genders, so he knows that you are open to either - and it's a way of hinting that, if he wants to tell you it's another boy, he can.

Hi all, sorry I’ve been at work but I have been reading all your comments. Thank you to everyone of you who took the time to reply, you’ve all given me lots of different points of view to think about.

To those of you who’ve said “rude”, “why ask?” or “why does it matter?” I agree....it honestly doesn’t matter but in the big scheme of things I’m worried about my best mate being anxious about something, no more no less. But I get it, you’re right...it shouldn’t be a big deal.

To those who’ve said “you’re a great dad”, thank you too...when I’ve got a head like a beetroot and I’m screaming like a banshee I certainly don’t feel like a great dad....but I know I’m lucky that I’ve got 2 great kids who make my life easy

And to those who are going through/have gone through a similar situation I really appreciate the advice/experiences and I hope everything works out great for you and your kids.

And to all of you kind people, I hope you get what I did from this post, that the world is mostly full of kind people, that kids are great know matter how much bad press they get and that we’re all just muddling along doing our best 😀😀😀.

As an update, I decided not to raise it directly as the moment had passed but carry on being supportive and trying to talk more to both the kids. Me and the boy had a long car journey today where we had a good chat about life in general, social media and “Logan Paul”....my feeling is we’ve kind of come to an understanding where we both know what each other’s thinking without actually using the word “gay” and I’m trying not to get to excited/nervous about meeting his partner for the first time!!!! That’ll be a whole other thread.

Sorry for the long post but once again, thank you all. You really are a lovely nest of vipers 👍👍👍

Thank you for the update. He's a lucky boy to have a dad like you.

Lovely posts all round.
Good luck to you and your son op, great he's got support no matter what

He’ll bring a girl home and you’ll have to work on your WTF face, then you’ll feel compelled to ask what the rainbow phone thing was all about, he won’t even remember it and you’ll spend the rest of your life with this niggling away at you...

🤣😂🤣😂

I’m really sorry about his Mum dying. Life can be very cruel x. You sounds far too lovely to stay single though. Maybe you need to think about YOUR dates, not just the kids 😊

Just read the thread. Did he get the rainbow charger? I was thinking you could’ve made a comment like oh are we celebrating at this year?

BUT from my own teenage experience, I didn’t really want to talk about getting/having a boyfriend with my parents until I felt comfortable about it myself and that’s without any pressure of thinking my parent(s) don’t know about my sexuality. So I think a staying cool approach would work best although I am imagining you doing happy dances in MC Hammer style in the kitchen when your son goes on a date!