Ds wasn't planned, I'm mid twenties Dp late twenties. Once we got used to the idea we were both happy. Dp was great while I was pregnant and a great partner before Ds.
But since his arrival he's out all the time. Before we both had a few evenings out with friends after work, usually one weekend night with friends and one together, we might go out or stay in. He's never been a huge drinker or party animal or anything, which is why this has shocked me so much. Ds is three months and he's hardly stayed in. He's not going on massive benders or anything and he's usually going after Ds is in bed. He pulls his weight with stuff round the house and he's working really hard as I'm on mat leave. But it's really hurting me, I'm not sure if I'm just being emotional or if he's being really unreasonable. It's been Christmas and stuff too, so obviously people are out more.
But this week, he went out New Year's Eve and I'd said I didn't mind but I'd have liked him to stay in with me. Then he went for a few New Year's Day. Stayed in Wednesday but wasn't back from work till late anyway, football and drinks Thursday then out Friday and Saturday night. We've been for a walk round the park earlier and it was lovely, got back and I sat down to feed Ds, he comes in the room 5 minutes later saying he's meeting his mate for a few in the pub.
When I've mentioned it he's said "well there's no point us both staying in, and you'll only want to go to sleep soon" or words to that effect. Friday he'd bathed Ds and I was feeding him. I came down and he was ready to go out, I said "that Ds was asleep and I was really hoping we could spend some time together" he replied "oh you should have said" came and started kissing me as if I meant I wanted sex. When I said I meant watch a film with a glass of wine and relax first he went off on his night out instead.
He's like a completely different person to before and I get that I'm not the best company right now, but I'm breastfeeding and busy with Ds and surely he should understand that.
I don't think anything else is going on, he's where he says he is and quite often he's only out for a few. He's not spending loads although it's adding up a bit. He's good with Ds when he's with him, helps through the night etc and up until this he's always been a really good partner.
I'm starting to feel like he just doesn't want to spend time with me and that's really hurting.
I'm not sure what to say though as when I mention it he just says there's no point us both staying in and I'm usually asleep soon anyway.