I left my ex in November after 4 years- we'd got stuck in a rut, were making each other miserable and didn't communicate well. I stayed at my parents but we kept in touch. Things were very nasty at first but we mellowed and calmed and eventually met up a few days ago. The love was very much still there, we communicated in a way we never have before and both want to try again.
However, I have found out through snooping (condoms in bin etc.) and pressing him that he had quite a lot of dates, sex and even a woman stay around the house for a few days. He says he was certain I wasn't coming back (very fair assumption, I had started buying a house), was very upset and just needed to do something. I honestly completely understand this- I hurt him, he was single, Tinder is so easy etc. He presumed id left for someone else or was moving on (there has never been anyone else on the scene for me but i don't expect him to believe that. And I had left him. He owed me nothing. He did nothing wrong.
But I don't know if I can come back now. He's had dates, hotel meet ups etc, but it's the having her in the house. For days. He even let her bring her dog. I've wandered around and keep seeing things- empty champagne bottle, fag ends (he doesn't smoke), her choices on the sky box etc. And the thoughts- them in what was our bed, her on my sofa, cooking in the kitchen etc. It's killing me.
I know why he did it, I don't blame him, he isn't in the wrong and I 100% believe him when he says he's desperate to put that in the past and recommit. He only wanted me and I walked out. He did what he could to feel better, it was all safe and consensual.
I believe we could be so happy- we used to be and are both in love. I have no right to feel wronged but I'm gutted. What should I do?