Has anyone got a degree in mental health nursing (or any other degree) and not used it?

[Welshcakes0]

Im almost finished studying a mental health nursing degree and I am not wanting to work as a mental health nurse when I finish. For many reasons, shifts (single parent with no childcare), working in mental health impacts on my own mental health, the responsibility, and the need to be in a job that makes me feel happy.
I have absolutely no confidence in myself and I don't think that is good for such a role. I know confidence comes with time and experience but I can assure you it's worse than ever. I thought it would get better but it hasn't. I now suffer with anxiety and I am even struggling to go back next week to finish my management placement of 12 weeks as they're going to expect so much from me. I'm not excited to qualify. I'm not excited about the potential job opportunities (as there are none that I would enjoy). The thought of not going back makes me feel happy but I have nothing else and a mortgage to pay. I wish i had never started this degree as the pressures to finish it is so high and my mental health has never suffered so bad as now. I wish it would all just go away :(

Well done, Welshcakes. I think you did amazingly well yesterday. Try and take one day at a time. I wouldn't be surprised if you find a lot of people are talking about your mentor and rolling their eyes behind his back. Hang in there. Tick every day off on the calendar and don't look more than a few days ahead. One day at a time, one week at a time. Keep letting us know how you get on.

KatyLovesKats thankyou :) yes, I thonk you are right. They were even joking about him having his medication (lots of sarcastic comments). I was thinking to myself - right just get through this. I won't be here forever.
This is what I'm trying to do, take one day at a time. Not over think too much. My plan is to try and fill my days off with things that will uplift my mood. When I stop, I think and become anxious. I don't want to go back to that feeling I felt when I posted this. I can slightly feel the anxiety and sometimes a little more than other times but trying to keep going. I need to finish this degree. I can't express how grateful I am for everyone posting here.

Morning everyone :)
I'm hoping someone reads today. I have completed my first week on my management placement. 3 12.5 hrs shifts.
According to the NMC I have to work 40% with my mentor so luckily my I have arranged my childcare so I can work 2 days out of those 3. It's alot of meal prepping, running around and unfortunately waking my dd's at 5.30am but I have to. Anyway I just needed to tell you a few things that has happened the 2 days with my mentor. You all helped so much I was hoping with your help I can get through this.
1st day - Tried to explain my circumstances and he overpowered me with a different conversation- he wasn't interested. Throwing objectives at me all day. I listened and agreed. I learn by asking questions. When I ask a member of staff a question, he always (every time) has to answer with - I need you to concentrate on what I have asked you to do. This is fine but the questions are for my own learning. I like to write in my note book little things. He keeps telling me - no, you will pick this up as you go along. I explained it's for myself, it's how I learn. Again over powers me with his demands. He is very unapproachable. He then made judgemental comments about a patient. He spoke to the younger nurse assistants so rude and abrupt. It was so uncomfortable.
2nd day - He told me to write down my shifts. I explained again I had worked hard to work 2 out of 3 with him but that's ok as it's more than 40%. His face dropped and he said me coming in on a Sat was not going to work as it's agency (long story short, I did work the Saturday and the 2 agency staff were amazing - friendly, helpful, understanding and I asked lots of questions. Great shift). On 3 occasions he kept saying it wasn't going to work. I asked why when I have been told to follow the NA's anyway. Again he didn't like me questioning it. I told him I have to work the sat because of childcare. He said I would have to go on another ward as agency staff aren't going to be helpful for me getting to know the ward. I then said, but going somewhere else isn't at least I can work with the NA's and most important get to know the patients more. After 3 occasions he said ok. That was hard work.
Sorry this is long.
By the afternoon he had made an NA cry and that's when she told me....
He has lost his last 2 students. One cried as he humiliated her in front of staff for not knowing a medication. He is the only sign off mentor in the whole of the building. He has not signed a few of his management students, labelling them incompetent. Telling them they need to stay longer than the 3 months as planned. (I have told him I am desperate to finish in a 3 month period as I am late starting, have a mortgage to pay as I am a single parent and my bursary stops).
Everyone I tell that he is my mentor they all have a horrified look upon their face with a story to tell.
Agency staff explained that nobody will challenge him. He has no people skills. He likes to be authoritative.
He talks about every member of staff. Again made rude comments about a patients weight. Then later was swearing and shouting in the office because he is going to be late home as someone had self harmed and he didn't believe them. It was uncomfortable. Inappropriate behaviour.
I'm going to struggle. Please help me!
There is so so much more he has said and done but too much to explain typing it.

Firstly you need to speak to your uni about this. Do you have a personal tutor available? Write everything down so you can explain it properly to them and highlight your concerns. Unfortunately they will be used to dealing with things like this and so will be able to help you. If you don't get anywhere with the first person, take it higher. Don't be afraid of speaking out, you are not the one causing problems here.

Following that, is there anyone higher up on your placement that you could speak to about his inappropriate behaviour? It's quite concerning that he is behaving that way on a mental health ward and even more concerning that he feels comfortable to do it in front of a student. Your uni should also help you with this.

But please be aware that by speaking out your placement may be changed. That won't be because of something you have done wrong and it shouldn't be seen as a negative on your part. You have to do what feels right for you.
I left one of my placements early, it was really hard to speak out at the time, but looking back it was definitely the right thing to do. In fact I probably stayed for longer than I should have.

If you stay there and he stays as your mentor, request that his manager or someone from uni sits in on further meetings with you. That way you've got someone else to document the conversation and it may diffuse the situation slightly.

I’m new to your thread but I worked in the NHS for years as qualified staff

You are in an impossible position as a student but you really need to talk to uni ASAP. I will bet that they know what he is like, especially if he is sign off mentor. Approach your personal tutor or clinical link tutor before your next shift if you can.

I know it’s really hard but you might have to consider whistleblowing if he continues to show bullying behaviour towards clients especially.

Hang in there

Thankyou for your messages. I started my placement late so it's going to hard to get the hours in before sign off. It took 4 weeks to find me this placement as I needed 12 hour shifts due to lack of childcare. Uni were so unhelpful. There was even a chance I may not have found one. I can't explain how difficult it was to find a placement and leading up to it I have become so anxious. Throughout this thread I have explained how it all makes me feel. I was praying for an understanding mentor, now I have this. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done and the biggest mistake. I just want it over.
I wanted to push through and ignore his behaviour. I know of students that have made complaints and nothing happens. All the staff have told me, this mentor is known for his behaviour but gets away with it as he has been there years.

I've just seen your update Welshcakes. You don't deserve this and not did previous students. Am I right in thinking there'll be a way to raise a cause for concern with your uni, whereby the placement coordinator or your tutor are expected to visit very quickly?

Awakeupnorth hello:) thankyou for stopping by to post. Honestly as a student it's best to put up with it. The coordinator here is the lady that put pressure on me to begin with and I was told by the agency member of staff that there are 3 members of staff that are very friendly there. Other staff members are discussed so I will be too. I have no confidence in telling anyone.
Awakeupnorth this is what I mean by my whole experience making it impact on my own mental health. When I'm with the patients I am absolutely fine. Yesterday, I tried to ask questions and he is so rude. He says one thing at a time and starts doing something else when clearly he has time to answer or advise me. That happened on 3 occasions yesterday. All in front of the patients. I look at their faces and feel so disappointed for them. I try to comfort them and ask again within a time period and he gets angry. I know it's difficult meeting the needs of everyone but its how he handles the situation.
They are short staffed so I have been running around doing odd jobs and I honestly don't mind, I love helping the NA's but I feel when I ask a question relevant to my management post, he gets annoyed. It's so difficult to explain. Basically he throws his authority around to the extreme.
I have made a chart to count down my days. I will try to get through this and take it further when I qualify. Not sure to who but I will.

Welshcakes I hear what you are saying and how there are so many conflicting pressures on you. I also hear how you are there for the patients and thinking of them throughout all this.

Just pondering whether burnout can lead to this or if it's more down to culture or power etc. They're probably all interconnected anyway.

I 'm not totally sure how it works, but my thinking (which m at very well be wrong) is you record various elements that you demonstrate as you go throughout the placement and more the date and have these signed by a staff member and/or your mentor or something like that. If that's kind of how it is please keep that record as up to date as possible.

As for poor practice with respect to treatment of patients and yourself try and keep brief records of incidents - including time, day, people present, what happened and what happened afterwards. Someone else can probably advise on this.

One week less to go now.

I'm new to this thread but have seen your Sunday update.

Firstly I'm an RMN, and I think your decision to carry on and finish your degree is the right one after so much hard work. I also think from how you speak about your patients you're going to make an excellent nurse and our profession is going to be lucky to have you.

I'm so sorry you're in the position with your sign off mentor, I understand this placement has taken a lot of effort to organise but if he's the only sign off mentor available I think the best option for you would be to ask to be reassigned. I understand why this would be really difficult for you, but I'm not sure that the advice of 'grin and bear it' 'you can get through it' is the right advice for you and your own mental health.

If you do feel out of other options and you have to continue with this placement and mentor feel free to message me for anonymous venting. ( just let me know on here you've messaged so I can log in to full version)

I’ve just read the whole of your thread, and I’m so so sorry your placement has turned into this awful experience when you were so desperate for a supportive and positive experience to help you cope. This man sounds utterly vile. I really feel for you.

I’m worried he has the power not to sign you off at the end of 3 months.

I understand you don’t want to make a fuss now, but can you keep a diary of what’s happening with him, so you have a good set of evidence if you need to take it further at any point.

People can ignore and dismiss someone saying ‘he’s always aggressive’ but it’s much harder to ignore a diary of specific events which lay out a lead pattern of behaviour for all to see.

Just in case...

Or is there a nursing union rep you can turn to - even as a student?

Awakeupnorth thankyou :) yes, that is a great idea. I tried to ask to go through my statement of intent yesterday but he made excuses. I will ask for objectives to be bullet pointed (if he agrees). He likes to tell me not the other way around. Today he is not here and I am so relaxed (still have anxieties but far less). I have been able to ask questions with ease. I jave found a great NA to latch on to also. I have noted things regarding his behaviour towards staff and patients also.
fermezzlabouche thanks, that is kind of you to say :) I am also concerned about my own mental health. When I posted here, I was really down. It's been a struggle throughout my training g but this was something different. A horrible feeling I don't want to experience again. I can't explain how helpful it has been posting here a d I am forever grateful. This is why I posted again, I feel I need the support to get through it. I know this may be the wrong choice but I don't have time financially to find another (the uni can't find a placement to meet my childcare needs). I have more appointments coming up with my dd so need days in between to do these things. I just need it to be over. I really do. Thankyou for that offer, appreciate it.
WellThisIsShit thankyou :) This is my concern too. I thought maybe get some objectives down (although that was something that started my anxieties off, the pressure. I think I need to in this case). I'm revising meds so I am up on that. I just hope I can run the shift as this is all he keeps going on about! I will definitely monitor his behaviour. I'm dreading Thursday when he is in. I agree he shouldn't get away with this behaviour. I can't believe I have been placed with such a mentor after all of my worries to begin with. I keep trying to tell myself, it's just ONE person. There are other great staff members everywhere. I'm trying so hard to stay strong. Everyone here is helping me, thankyou.

Glad you're finding this a helpful place, keep on counting down the days and it'll be over before you know it.

As others have said ensure you're writing everything he does down, also remember that for him to fail you, there has to be an interim meeting that a tutor from your uni will attend he'd have to outline the issues and what you can do to improve and be signed off and set achievable goals for you. As a mentor we have to give every opportunity for the student to pass, failing a students placement or sign off there needs to be really serious concerns and as the mentor you have to show you've involved the uni and given every opportunity to the student for them to improve and meet the standards required.

Hope this helps ease your worry he could fail you/not sign you off.

fermezzlabouche thankyou :) yes, your advice is helpful. I have heard he makes students work over their hours as he tells them they need to, to have competencies signed.
I'm writing everything down. I went for my break today and another staff member started asking what ward I'm on, am I new so I explained. They asked who my mentor is - again as soon as I said. He started to say, don't allow him to mistreat you. That is 6 staff members in 5 shifts. I can't believe my luck here. All I needed was a supportive, understanding mentor and I have been given not only the most difficult but the most inappropriate behaved staff member I have ever met throughout my training. I just can't believe it! 5 shifts down - 31 to go (hopefully).

Hi Welshcakes. So sorry this is happening to you. I encountered something similar in a previous job (pre-nursing) so I understand how awful this situation is, made worse by the fact you are reliant on this guy to sign off your entire 3 years training. However as others have said, its not actually that easy for him to fail you. He has to make reasonable adjustments in order to help your placement be a success. It's not just as simple as him refusing to sign you off.

Again,as others have said. Document everything in a diary. Even the comments that 6 staff members in 5 shifts have made. Dates, times, who was present etc. Especially if you think a change of placement is not an option. You may well need this evidence to support you further down the line.

I really hope things settle down for you and you decide to remain a nurse

Midwife here ( funnily enough not currently practising full time so to answer to the original post question no I’m not using the degree and think it was all a waste of time really) I just wanted to say your doing so well just hang in there in that nightmare of a placement; you have my full sympathies with all of the issues, uni really need to get a grip and get involved in helping. Stick with it and qualify and it will open doors you’ve come this far, don’t worry about practising as soon as you qualify it sounds like you will need a break anyway.

TheDogsKnees thankyou :) it is horrible, especially as I was really worried about starting my placement. I have logged everything and looked over my competencies to make sure they're achievable. Im worried he will ask me something I don't know, something he thinks is relevant. I'm dreading tomorrow with him.

ciaobella88 thankyou :) well done on completing your midwifery degree. I can imagine that was tough going. I have spoken to other midwifery students and it's difficult. It's such a long and hard degree so I'm hoping if not nursing, I can find something else. I have noticed in a short space of time, it's the people you work with impact on your mental health too. I really can't believe how we are sometimes treated as students. I'm sure some people forget what it was like training. There is no consistency between staff members so I'm being told to do one thing then something different. I don't know if it's just this ward or all over. If I was a staff member, I feel I would have a voice. The uni should step up but I know in other students experience, it has just been ignored. I can't change placements. I have to push through. I'm taking one day at a time.

Hi Welshcakes, just wondering how you're doing? The weeks seen to be flying in, but I realise it might not feel like that for you.

Awakeupnorth Hi, it's me welshcakes (for some reason I had to renew my account so had to name change). I was only thinking yesterday, I should post my update but thought maybe my post had been forgotten. How lovely to hear from you, thankyou.
I think you are going to be pleasantly shocked. My mentor is still quite unbearable however, he has given me really good feedback. He even asked if I would consider working there. I told him (absolutely never in a million years) no thankyou. The funniest part is - my post was about my anxieties and most days they have been there but I was certain I wasn't going to let him know about them. So I have always acted like I'm ok, like nothing was a problem and pushed myself to go every day. He mentioned to me last week that I am like a qualified on the ward and he hasn't spotted any weak spots - then he looked at me to respond. I was absolutely not telling him. So yesterday in handover (my worst fear along with public speaking) I was like jelly inside but I did it and I was fine. I smiled all the way home.
I am still counting down the days but I am ok. I still can't actually believe I am almost done. I still have concerns working in mental health. I want to enjoy going to work. I worry I may not feel that way once qualified. I just want to say you helped me along with others on this post to push myself so thankyou.

Cakes what a good update to read. You really seem to have found a way to be your caring, emphatic, skilled and knowledgeable self despite your mentor and your anxieties.
And it sounds like you've managed handover too - so great to read you were smiling on the way home.

Awakeupnorth thankyou, you have been so kind. Today was a tough day as my mentor was projecting unnecessary stress but I left the ward, held back the tears and finished the shift. 6 shifts left and counting :)

I'm a newly qualified adult nurse if you want to chat?

Counting down with you, and hoping you don't have more days like today - or if you do, that you use your inner strength again.

Hey, great update. I responded once a couple of threads ago, since I used to be a lecturer, and have followed your trials and tribulations since. It's so good to hear your tone now. Whatever you do next, getting this degree is going to make you feel better about yourself for the rest of your life. Well done on persisting!