Has anyone got a degree in mental health nursing (or any other degree) and not used it?

[Welshcakes0]

Im almost finished studying a mental health nursing degree and I am not wanting to work as a mental health nurse when I finish. For many reasons, shifts (single parent with no childcare), working in mental health impacts on my own mental health, the responsibility, and the need to be in a job that makes me feel happy.
I have absolutely no confidence in myself and I don't think that is good for such a role. I know confidence comes with time and experience but I can assure you it's worse than ever. I thought it would get better but it hasn't. I now suffer with anxiety and I am even struggling to go back next week to finish my management placement of 12 weeks as they're going to expect so much from me. I'm not excited to qualify. I'm not excited about the potential job opportunities (as there are none that I would enjoy). The thought of not going back makes me feel happy but I have nothing else and a mortgage to pay. I wish i had never started this degree as the pressures to finish it is so high and my mental health has never suffered so bad as now. I wish it would all just go away :(

It sounds like you need CBT for GAD rather than counselling atm OP.

Welshcakes, sorry I didn't want it to come across as being normal because it is not, I wanted it more to come across more as you can make it through with help and support.

I think if your intrusive thoughts are taking over and you are finding it difficult to rationalise that you maybe are not in the right frame of mind to add another stressor and try and push through. Too many people think that they can't take time out for their MH but if it were a physical problem you wouldn't think twice. What is the impact if you were to take some time out and finish later?

With regards to the learning outcome, I get that it puts the spotlight on it but if it is as bad as you are saying it is, do you not think it will get picked up on? Therefore if you take control of it, it shows that you are a reflective practitioner and you are aware of your strengths and weaknesses. It could be a case of saying I struggle with this but could you see how I get on for x amount of weeks and review at your interim and you might be surprised to get feedback about how well you are doing. It may be that you are putting immense pressure on yourself and building up too high expectations.

VietnameseCrispyFish - waiting lists are huge here for talking therapies. I booked a counsellor session as I'm in a hurry. I wish I could have some therapy though.
Daisybuttons - do you enjoy your job? You mentioned your experience as a student. You got through it. That's amazing and now you are working within it. What area do you work in? I have wanted to go take breaks so many times but pushed through. I am so close to finishing now. The thought of putting on hold so close to the end after pushing myself. I just want it over. I can't explain how much. I get a bursary so I will have to stop that and find another income asap as I am a single parent paying a mortgage. I am desperate to finish by the end of March in time for my bursary payments. I know academically if your work isn't in on time you have to go back a year but with practical hours you can make them up but unsure of how long you have. I also have a job in a secure setting in line for when I finish. I have even had a private company offering me flexible hours in a setting of my choice. I couldn't think straight when she called me yesterday so I said I'd think about it as I'm concentrating on my management right now. I can't believe how this has made me feel, its put like a dark cloud over me. I can't lift my mood no matter what I try to do to help myself. My daughter is in a show this weekend and I should be excited. I feel so guilty for feeling so rubbish. I just want to be happy. I envy people going into happy jobs. I'm sorry I sound so negative. I really appreciate everyone posting here.

Ps - I have questioned if I'm putting high expectations on myself but its the unknown of what they expect I guess.

Hello again Welshcakes. I hope you enjoy time with your children this weekend and the show your daughter is in, and whatever else you can do as self care.

Your job offers sound like fantastic compliments about you and your knowledge, skills, experience, empathy and personality.

Do you find it helps to break things down into a day at a time? If so, what do you want to get out of Monday (other than it being over)?

And what kind of things have you found help calm down feelings of anxiety in the past? I imagine you'll know lots of different approaches. Some people might use breathing exercises, others visualisation, rescue remedies, meditation etc. One of my things is to look at calming photos of nature which I keep on my phone and tablet.

Another idea is if you think of how you're feeling using a rating scale - what level is manageable for you, and what will help you move 1 point on the scale in that direction?

I think you were also asking about Make Up time at the end of your course re time on placements. Is this the kind of thing that might be in a student handbook, or can your personal tutor answer this question for you?

One last thing, I'm sorry if I'm staying the obvious - I know from my experience that at times it can be hard to remember or think of things when I'm in the middle of them.

Hello Awakeupnorth :) thankyou.
Definitely for it to be over. I'm hoping they're a nice team and my mentor doesn't overload me with information and objectives on my first day. I am very good at asking questions if i am unsure so prefer to get on with it and ask if i need help or guidance. I am very good with patients and the positive feed back I have had from previous placements has been, above all else focused on this. I am always honest and explain qualifying scares me and I always have the same feed back explaining that I should have more faith in myself as I have been good. This always builds my confidence and is so lovely to hear.
Yes, taking one day at a time is what I'm trying to do. I was thinking of Monday and thinking to myself, I hope I want to go back, I hope I feel confident to, I hope my mentor is relaxed. I'm now trying not to think.
Yes, I have used breathing techniques in the past, especially in meetings. I have also tried to ground myself using mindfulness techniques.
If I were to rate myself with on a scale. I think I panic in situations sometimes and in my head think of reasons to get out. I was in a meeting not so long back and they were in groups discussing a topic and I looked at the PowerPoint on paper and it said on the next page 'in pairs discuss such and such'. Straight away I felt this urge of anxiety and couldn't even get my head together to breathe. I fidgeted for a few minutes but couldn't stay. I walked out and left. I was shaking and couldn't think. I crued all the way home but it was a normal cry it was like i was out of control. I told my mentor I had to leave as I had a phone call whilst in the office. This is when I knew it had got to the point of not being able to continue. I have never felt this bad. I had time off (before Christmas) to gather my thoughts. Here I am now.

Welshcakes,

If you can get your placement switched, great, but whatever you do (unless you seek deferment) complete the course. You've come too far not to.

As for the placement hours, discuss it with the placement directly. Emphasize that you have limited childcare as a single parent. You are not there through choice, but placed there by the university. They should get this.

As for when you graduate, take some time off. I took six months off after completing my nursing degree then commenced work.

I'm not an RMN but I have worked with them on Dementia units in local nursing homes. It's generally pleasant and 'lighter' then CAMHS or local mental health units for adults, iyswim. Might be an option.

Hope you figure things out.

Lifeisabeach09 - thanks for your message. I have planned to tell him that the whole degree and juggling life as a single parent has impacted on my mental health and I'm concerned about my anxieties getting worse. I want to finish the degree and give as much as I can during placement however really don't want to put too much pressure on myself as I can't afford to take time out and the worse my anxieties, the worse I feel I will be as a student. I'm going to ask to settle in before setting objectives.
Does this sound ok? I basically want him to not put the pressure on and I know I will be ok. I know I won't disappoint him.
Re taking time out - I have a job lined up and need to pay my mortgage asap.

Hi Welshcakes, hope you've managed some relaxing time over the weekend, and I want to send you positive thoughts and good wishes for tomorrow.
I wonder if your mentor would be open to being asked what helped them when they were on their management placement / or at times they might have felt anxious etc.

Haven’t read the whole thread but ? Doing a top up course to health visiting etc ?

Awakeupnorth - thankyou so much. I will ask him tomorrow. I will find out from other staff members too.
PrincessPee - thanks for your message. If this requires more study, I couldn't possibly. I'm done. I have studied for 5 years. It was actually 8 years ago, I started this journey.

I think HV is a year, but paid a band 5? Not 100% sure on details, was just thinking it would be something with a bit more family friendly hours and not wasting your nursing?
And as a HCP myself I can sympathise/empathise with your feelings - my last placement very very nearly broke me - and several years later, my daily aim at work is to be the best mentor, preceptor, shift coordinator and colleague I can be to help ensure no one feels like I did during that time.

Hi Welshcakes, I'm not MH but I am a nurse and I had a horrible final year due to placements. Not all placements suit everyone. I absolutely hated secure units and even had one manager tell me she didn't think I would be able to get a job. I used to dread going in everyday and would be counting down the days until I finished but you'll get through it.
Will you be doing long days where you are? Also might be worth trying to do some nights (if you have childcare) as there is usually less pressure then.
Being newly qualified is terrifying for everyone, you're not alone with that. It does get easier.

Also, can I ask whether camhs is private or nhs? Are you considering working there?

PrincessPee what is HCP? I'm so so happy to hear that. Your students and colleagues are lucky to have you. I feel the same. I have always said I want to make sure I am a mentor someone feels comfortable with and I would want to help them progress to the best of their ability. It's what we preach every day in Mental health care. It's unfortunate some mentors forget this. I'm so so grateful for the mentors like yourself.
ARJZ thanks for your message. That's awful, it must jave been so difficult for you. You did it though, well done. I so want to say the same. I so hope I can push through like you. I'm so scared ARJZ. It's long days, yes. That's a good idea. I will try to get some in. Camhs was nhs. This new placement is a secure rehab ward for females with personality disorder (private).

Hi Welshcakes, hope you are doing ok? I don't often get time to come on here but I saw the thread tonight and wondered how you were? I have such admiration for you, doing what you're doing, and being so honest about how hard you are finding it. You have persevered so well, I wish I had your determination.

Yes, received a degree as a nurse and degree in psychology. Only used the nursing degree once as an OR nurse. That was 30 years ago.

Found there were many roles that had nothing to do with direct patient care. I ended up in health technology. Other women who were in school with me went on to other office types health care roles.

KatyLovesKats hello, thanks for your message. That's so kind of you to say, thankyou. I'm not great to be honest but posting here has helped. I have never been able to be so open and honest until now. The response here has been so so comforting. I wish I could take you all with me tomorrow :)

I get for you Welshcakes I've also had bad anxiety and even when it's not too bad I do get performance anxiety too so I know what it's like. In fact the mentor who I asked to replace used to loudly fire questions at me and then reprimand me for not knowing the answers. It was unhelpful of that woman to say that to you and I am sure it will be much better than you expect.

I got Citalopram which has helped my anxiety hugely. I'm not sure you would have the time you need to do CBT on top of working and studying but it might be something that will be helpful when you have a bit more time on your hands.
Let us know how you get on tomorrow.

Hi welshcakes. Just saw your thread and wanted to wish you all the best for Monday. I'm a newly qualified RMN, although I've had five months out after the stress of uni! I start my first post in Feb. I can totally relate to what you are feeling, I also struggle with anxiety at times, never more than whilst completing my degree. I had citalopram following the birth of my DD3 between first and second year which helped immensely as a first port of call.

I agree it wasn't helpful of the nurse you spoke with to tell you that your mentor expects a lot. However, I would bet that your own expectations of yourself are far higher than his. Talk to him and be honest about your concerns. You will be able to develop a support plan with him to help you get the most out of your final placement. You have made it this far which means you've done amazingly. Many don't reach this point! This is just a very small period of time in the grand scheme of things... You've got this

Mrscaindingle and TheDogsKnees thankyou.
I would definitely appreciate CBT. I couldn't handle the side effects of medication last year.
Well done for returning to work. I really wish I had not been to interviews and then not had the pressure to work straight away. I have a job lined up, not my first choice but they appear supportive re childcare and can offer flexible hours.
I'm on my break at the moment. I was so so bad this morning. I wanted to leave, probably about 6 times but talked myself into staying. I tried to explain to my mentor but he is very stern and talks over you. When I have been in the middle of explaining something, he starts talking to someone else. I have noticed him do it with another staff member so not just me. He is very much telling me how it's going to be. I tried to explain my reasons for the change in management due to childcare. He just continued to tell me his hours. He was introducing me to everyone saying this is our management student she will be running the ward in no time. I'm ok on the ward. Patients are fine and I have found that bit comfortable. I did just have to ask to go for lunch as they had all been and seemed to have forgotten me. I was absolutely starving so sat having my break now. I haven't continued a discussion re hours as he doesn't really want to stop and chat. On a positive - he said he will allow me to do a bit of everything for about 8 weeks and then I will be running the ward. I'm hoping by then I will know everything. I'm ok as long as there is no pressure in meetings. The lady who i spoke to on the phone came to meet me with an induction pack - I tried to explain to her, she listened but didn't say much. I'm actually ok if my mentor isn't around, he makes me feel uneasy. I just need to push through and get this 12 weeks out of the way.
Thankyou everyone for your support here, I can't explain how much I appreciate it.

Welshcakes - it sounds like it's been quite a day so far! Well done for sticking with it, and one of the things that strikes me is what an experience to reflect upon.

Try not to let him intimidate you Welshcakes and if he continues in this vein try and reflect some of this back to him when you do your interim interview as part of your reflective practice.

Awakeupnorth thankyou :)
Mrscaindingle I think it's his overall character, going by what other staff members comment when he isn't in the room. I had to repeat myself a few times to him to remind him of my childcare situation. I don't think he is going to get it. I'm going to have to just soldier through it. I was calmer by the end of the shift. Home now and shattered. Thankyou all so so much.

Welshcakes it's really good to read you felt calmer by the end of shift. You seem to be doing long shifts, so I guess that's less actual days on placement.

That's one day less to go now.

Hope you manage to relax the rest of this evening.

Awakeupnorth yes that's right. I'm counting down :) I off to bed with a cup of tea. Thankyou :)