Has anyone got a degree in mental health nursing (or any other degree) and not used it?

[Welshcakes0]

Im almost finished studying a mental health nursing degree and I am not wanting to work as a mental health nurse when I finish. For many reasons, shifts (single parent with no childcare), working in mental health impacts on my own mental health, the responsibility, and the need to be in a job that makes me feel happy.
I have absolutely no confidence in myself and I don't think that is good for such a role. I know confidence comes with time and experience but I can assure you it's worse than ever. I thought it would get better but it hasn't. I now suffer with anxiety and I am even struggling to go back next week to finish my management placement of 12 weeks as they're going to expect so much from me. I'm not excited to qualify. I'm not excited about the potential job opportunities (as there are none that I would enjoy). The thought of not going back makes me feel happy but I have nothing else and a mortgage to pay. I wish i had never started this degree as the pressures to finish it is so high and my mental health has never suffered so bad as now. I wish it would all just go away :(

I think re the course you’ll kick yourself if you don’t see it through. Maybe you’ll find it easier to complete it once you acknowledge you’re just doing it to qualify and are then free of MN nursing for good. Hunker down and power through to the end, and then decide what you really want to do with your life.

Stormy76 thanks for your message. I understand what you are saying. You have seen it first hand. I have had many supportive mentors but I have never ever expressed my anxieties as I feel it would add definition and make them worse as they're ones I have to overcome anyway to pass competencies. The thought of finding something I liked has kept me going. It's not just the impact of my own mh, it's the responsibility and the hours. I don't have anyone in my life I can rely on. I have so much pressure to pay my mortgage each month. I know I will always have that but would really really like a job I look forward to going to or at least find that feeling of relaxing in a position. The HCA's have been great. I actually wish I had explored a little more as there are some positions minus the responsibility out there. I think its the whole mh thing. I know you say i have personal experience but i don't want to make it worse. Hope you don't mind me asking but why did you change from HCA to admin?
VietnameseCrispyFish thanks for your message. I think this is what I am thinking right now. However it still doesn't make it easier to finish. You are right, I know I have to finish it though.
Thankyou all so so much. It's so good to talk here.

I am a MH nurse with 20+ years experience and would say that even if it's not for you in the long run do get your degree as this will enable you to do other things so much more easily than without it.
I have never wanted to work in CAMHS and working in forensic units made me a nervous wreck and worried about my own mental health although a lot of staff there liked the adrenaline buzz. There may be an area you will love but you won't know unless you give it a go.
A senior nurse said to me many years ago to only ever give 80% of myself as I would otherwise be burned out within 10 years. You do develop a professional detachment but it takes a while and I second the pp that any place I've ever worked in look after newly qualified nurses and don't expect too much from them.

Mrscaindingle thanks for your message. I'm so glad you have mentioned this, especially after 20 years experience. The job I have been offered is on a forensic ward, low secure and I have not admitted this because I felt like I couldn't but it scares me, really scares me. The job came up my accident. I went for an interview on a camhs ward and decided I didn't want it as I needed experience first (thinking I will get plenty on management). Admin called me asking if I'd be interested so I went to look around and they were so lovely. I just thought, I will be supported here and that is my main concern as I have heard many stories of the opposite. They were friendly and flexible. Being a single parent I thought this would be appropriate for me as the camhs was shorter shifts and a distance. This one is a distance but they have said I can work 2 long days (30 hours).
I can't listen or read about these awful traumatic experiences of young people, even people later on in life who have experienced it, it's so hard. Definitely can't work in camhs. See this is the thing, I feel I am saying no to it all.

My point was that everyone is different and as you say getting the right support is you're priority at the moment. In my experience the staff support can make the worst jobs bearable in MH in fact the worst jobs have always been where morale was low and staff felt unsupported. If the staff are lovely that's half the battle, I'm currently working in the community with a long commute but I'm scared to go for somewhere local as I love the team I work with and that means I am able to do this job to the best of my ability.

Mrscaindingle ok yes, do you advice me to explain to management/mentor on my first day of placement? Explain all of my above anxieties? I know how different I feel when I have a very chilled and supportive team/mentor. That's when I struggle less. I also know how much I struggle if I'm with an unsupportive team/mentor.

Welshcakes could you write down what the key points could be to tell your mentor/management and also your pros and cons for mentioning them, or not mentioning them?

Awakeupnorth yes, I could do that. Thankyou Awakeupnorth, I feel calmer today. I have arranged to pay someone to childcare my dc's. Even though this is going to be a struggle, I feel prepared. I'm also in the mind set of just getting this done. Finishing the degree and seeing how I feel. I'm having to sell my property too as I can't afford the payments alone (ex is on the mortgage and he won't sign to change to a lower mortgage deal) so I think this is adding to the pressure.

There is big expansion into telephone support- 6 CBT based sessions.
Perhaps something like this?

Sorry for delay in responding , yes I would discuss any anxieties with your mentor as soon as possible if they don't know they won't be able to help. I once requested a different mentor as I felt bullied by the mentor I had and was accommodated with no issues.
You've got this far it's not much longer to go

Reflexella yes, I think it would help. Not sure if this is an option available or how long I would have to wait.
Mrscaindingle yes, ok. Oh really?! Why do some mentors have to be so bossy?! I actually can't believe how many nurses that are in practice that really shouldn't be. I also need to mention there are so many lovely lovely mentors out there too.

Hi OP, I was injured whilst on shift one day and it was an accident during personal care. I have been left with a permanent injury so can't work on the wards any more and have had to change direction really. I just wondered if you have thought about being an OT, there are so many occupational therapists working in mental health, in community settings there are lots of OT's. Some run courses for people who are ring discharged from MH ... like anxiety, depression, mindfulness etc.

Stormy76 Thanks for your message. I'm sorry to hear that. What direction did you go in? Hope you are happy? I couldn't retrain now. I can't afford it and couldn't mentally.

I have been given my management placement. It's on a low secure rehab ward for females with personality disorder. I spoke to the manager on a ward and she told me who my mentor will be. Apparently he is a very good mentor and then said he expects alot from his management students. I have been mentally preparing and now hearing this, I'm really anxious, I can't deal with that pressure. I am more confident when nobody puts pressure on me. I am fine talking in mdt or handover etc if nobody has told me i have to do it.

Hi Welshcakes, I was wondering how you were getting on, and I can hear how anxious you're feeling just now.

Putting aside the ward manager and your mentor for now, and just thinking of you, what do you want to get out of the placement (other than completion)? And what do you expect from the ward manager and your mentor to help you achieve this in a way that works for you?

Awakeupnorth hello, nice to hear from you, thankyou. I love learning and I want to learn and understand and if I don't know something I am happy to ask. I am more confident if I am left to learn myself and speak when I need to. I'm aware I need to be more forthcoming in this role and I intend to be. I want to build my confidence. I can not speak publicly as in presentations etc. I'm not interested in overcoming that fear either. I am fine chatting to patients etc but when it comes to hand over or lettings I feel a little anxious but I do it. However if I am told before a meeting, you need to talk about such and such, I get ridiculously anxious. But, if I was in that meeting and I am able to choose to speak, I am ok. I know this sounds absolutely ridiculous but I cant change it. As soon as the lady on the phone said 'your mentor expects alot from his students', I panicked. I just want to calm down, I really do. It's the not knowing.

Ps . I suppose what I would like is for them to let me get on with the job and not set me objectives. I will speak but on my own terms. The more I write here the more I sound silly, it's so hard to explain.

To me you don't sound silly at all. I get the feeling you know yourself pretty well, and also what helps and what hinders you.

I had thought objectives would have been led by you, or possibly negotiated, not just given to you by someone else. My lack of knowledge/naivety.

Awakeupnorth thankyou. I guess they are where competencies are concerned as we are all at different stages as students. However, the role of the nurse requires speaking about your patients concerns and progression during meetings weekly with a team of professionals. I know this is my role and I will do it but I want to do it in my own time without being told I have to. I will probably be given the role of the nurse when managing someone's care pathway. So I will be expected to talk about this patient. I have done this many times when not had the pressure of having to. As soon as I am told I have to, I become overwhelmingly anxious, it's silly.

When does your placement start? I'm wondering how I/ we can support you.

Also, I think people may experience anxiety differently, so if I was saying about how the situation makes me anxious, what do you think you might say or do to support me?

Awakeupnorth you are supporting me as we speak, it helps to talk (message). I don't have anyone to talk to and this is probably part of the problem. We all need human interaction, the less we have the more it impacts on our self esteem, I think anyway. When I'm pushing myself gradually, I know that helps me with my confidence. Being around lovely people, non judgmental people, that helps too. Being a stu9you never quite fit. You're never truly part of a team and that impacts too. I do believe when you are part of a team, confidence grows. Sometimes giving your own advice is difficult to take on board. I know I have to push myself to overcome these fears. I probably need to add more to my life to take the focus off my insecurities.

I guess I'm not the only one who will relate to not having support around/ being a single parent (if I've remembered correctly).

If a remote team of support would be helpful, I'm in...

And in my experience it was hard to make myself a priority when my DC lived at home.

Hi Welshcakes0

I'm a qualified MH nurse and some parts of your messages I could have wrote myself. I'm glad they have managed to find you a new placement and that you have heard your mentor is good. I think when people say that mentor expect a lot from their student it's because they are willing to put in a lot to get you to qualify. Good mentors and MH nurses are very good at picking up on what type of student you are and knowing when to push and not push you. On your initial meeting I would speak to him about your concerns and set them as a learning objective.

I was constantly described as quiet throughout and like you didn't feel part of the team as a student and wouldn't speak unless spoken to by other staff members. Looking back I probably think I was really awkward at times. I constantly felt like I was always on placement with the perfect student and I was really poor in comparison.
It's about gaining confidence in a secure learning environment. You're obviously a good student nurse if you have made it this far and have been offered a job. Not every nurse is going to be extrovert and bursting with confidence.

It's important to take care of yourself though and if at any point you think it is going to impact on your mental health, take that time out. I would aim to finish though and then take it from there. You have 3 years to do x amount of hours to maintain your registration. I know several people that are not nursing but are either working in the voluntary sector or management positions. There are so many transferable skills from MH nursing that are desirable in many positions. You will always have your degree even if you don't maintain your registration.

Welshcake, go t your GP get the anxiety diagnosed (if you haven't already) and go to disability services at your ui, they can hopefully help.
I work for disability services at a uni and the vast majority of my students are suffering stress and feeling very much like you do, lack of faith in themselves, that they can't do it, the stress and anxiety are overwhelming and a feeling of being an imposter in their field.
Just because your tutor isn't supportive doesn't mean you can't access support.
As for the mentor on your placement until you meet him and talk the anxiety about him will be huge, so maybe arrange a meeting with him face-2-face and if you can talk to him about how you are feeling.

Awakeupnorth - thankyou for your support, it means alot.
Daisybuttons - thanks for your message. When I hear this it makes me think it's obviously normal to be feeling the way I do. This is why I have pushed through. It's been the hardest thing I have ever done. I read your message last night just before going to sleep and it made me feel a little better. However this morning again I'm awful. Took my dd to school and I didn't see her go in, she was through the gate but All the way home I was panicking, thinking what if she didn't go in. I tried so hard to rationalise my thoughts. I walked through the door crying and had to call the school. It's so so silly. I have awful thoughts every single day, no motivation or interest. I push myself to be ok around my dd's, I can't allow them to see me this way. Sorry to go on but I'm trying to explain what this is doing to me. I'm now trying to mentally prepare myself for Monday. I really hope I can be strong. When you say a learning objective - this then puts focus on it which makes it worse. I am more confident when relaxed with no pressure. I don't know exactly what to say to him :(
selfishcrab - thanks for your message. I have a meeting with a counsellor next week. My anxiety is really bad today. Monday it's going to be ridiculous. Do I tell him I am anxious about the placement? About talking? It highlights it then and I feel this will make it worse for me.