The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Step Into Our Christmas Thread!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

A HUGE welcome to the Bus!

This is the one and only Gerald. Over the years, we've travelled far and wide gathering some truly remarkable Babes along the way, all of whom have been (and remain to be) at different stages of their own personal journey to sobriety or controlled drinking, depending on what it is that they want to achieve.

We have those who drink daily, those who drink occasionally, and also those who have been sober for some time. The one thing that you won't find here, is any judgey knickers! We're ALL here because at one point or another, we've hit our own "rock bottom" and then smashed the shit out of the FUCK IT button! (makes a note to order a new FUCK IT button)

This is without doubt one of the hardest times of the year for many of us, what with Christmas parties, alcohol on tap, supermarkets who have offers galore of various tipples stacked from floor to ceiling, and EVERY advert on TV shows you what an amazingly cool person you can be if you were drinking whatever brand of alcohol they're flogging! Even Christmas puddings and Brandy creams are tempting fate because as soon as you digest even a small amount of alcohol, it makes your body crave more, just like smoking, medication and recreational drugs................

Then there's the gifts that you're given! Champagne Truffles, Liquors, wines, spirits, you name it! So unless you've told people about your planned journey, people assume that buying gifts like that completely acceptable. So, some may feel obliged to consume such gifts and why not? It's Christmas after all. Then we have the New Year festivities..... parties, friends and family over to have drinks because you'll stop drinking after New Years' Day won't you?

It's so damn hard not to drink if that's what you've been doing all year anyway before you even reach this time of year!! How will you cope with your Great Aunt who will check for dust by running finger over ever surface, or Uncle knobhead who will be there in his cream suit, with that suspicious stain on it and his burgundy shirt asking for a Babycham! Also, let's not forget the in-laws/out-laws! We can sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves that we convince ourselves that we DESERVE that glass or seven of wine etc.

At the end of the day, if you want to drink, then you will. I appreciate that doesn't sound supportive but it's certainly true in my case. As I have said before, the most amazing thing about this Bus and those who travel along with it, is the fact that every single one on board has a story, a reason why they're here, and we all need support in one form or another. Yes, alcohol may be the one thing that we ALL have in common but it goes way deeper than that doesn't it? Life, love and laundry for a start!

Even if you're not ready to stop or cut down on your drinking yet, that's fine! You're still welcome to hop aboard the marvellous Gerald. We're a very varied bunch of Babes but we welcome anyone in need of support, even if you're not ready to say everything that you want to yet, or you feel the need to name change, that's fine! Just know that we're here for YOU for as long as you need to be.

Mouse xxx

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CATCH UP FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF

Morning everyone

5.5 miles ran this morning in the freezing cold. Small Fox definitely hangover free is one of the best training tools.

Babes sorry to hear your dh is unwell- hope you both have support. My Dh was very ill last summer and it does focus you to be there for him- but also you have to look after yourself (and not drinking today is an excellent way!)

Doesn’t feel like Friday. I’ve only worked one day this week so not too worried about tonight.

Today I won’t be drinking

Hi theBabes ... we have not met but aware you are the legendary founder babe of the thread. Hello and hope your DH gets well soon. Baking thanks for the advice. Yes I did throw out my old make up which nearly killed me as it included a just opened and horribly expensive Clarins mascara! Have promised myself if I do Dry January I will buy myself another with the money not spent on wine.

Full of admiration for you running babes in this weather. I went to the gym this morning but did very little. But it's a step in the right direction (I usually go every day but December saw a complete burnout so not been for a week or two)

Am feeling horribly stressed and anxious today. I do hate this time of year. Also feel physically sick at the thought of returning to work. All of which makes me want to drink, but.... day 3. Just.

How's everyone else doing?

Thanks Looking Baking Sweet etc. How is everyone else's illnesses doing today?

I went back to the dr and got prescribed codeine today 🙌 so slightly less pain but feeling a bit stoned. At least not feeling the need for booze right now!

Looking what kind of eye infection?! Like conjunctivitis? All of the face ache things are the absolute worst. Have a codeine pill on me!

Don't quite know what to do with myself this weekend. I think I've forgotten what one does with their weekends without wine. Something always seems missing.

I'm back... Again! Was googly.

Drank at Christmas. So much I was actually feeling ready to give up! Overindulged on food and booze. January is dry and healthy and I'm feeling good about both things! Not really even craving booze surprisingly. First sober weekend in a while now and I am starting a new job so have something else to distract me from alcohol so that's good.

Well done everyone, odaat xx

OMG! Really TheBabessavedme is . . . really? You bloody awesome woman - you mean 'you saved so many Babes'. I hope your DH is feeling your love x

Ghost, I'm with you on the 'what to do with all the time' thing. I have been working at home today and i have got SO much done: I'm now roaming the house trying to find more things to tidy/recycle. The kids are looking nervous. It was funny trying to work out what was the 'right' time to crack open a Becks Blue (5pm, I decided) - only four days ago I was having much the same internal dialogue about whether 10.30am was the 'right' time to finish the previous day's Pinot Grigio (it was, but only because it was about to be new year, new start. Honest).

TheBabes.. yes, I totally second what Sweet said - thank you so, so much for your honesty and inspiration. Its good to see you back, though I totally get that it is probably not where you want to be. I hope things are ok at home. Ma, you ok today? I know day 3/4 is when the boredom sometimes start to kick in for you. Lux, great to see you, you classy babe - but so sorry to hear about DD. Thinking of you. She is so lucky to have you in her corner.

And lovely Hope, I am so sorry you are feeling stressed and anxious. Not drinking will in time help with that of course, but right now it must feel that everything has come at once. Do you have distractions in place for the weekend? I've been reading a lot about alcohol/stress - the classic 'feel stressed/need a drink/but drink exacerbates stress' contradiction. The physical part of that - the second bit - is alleviated very quickly after we quit alcohol, apparently - but it takes our poor addled brains a lot of retraining to break the psychological link - and so much social conditioning to get over too.

Does everyone have nice weekend plans? Hope so. I have managed to fill my weekend with so many people that hopefully I won't have time to think too much about alcohol. Oddly I tend to drink more when I'm on my own so I am not too worried about coping with the social catalyst to drink (at my worst, I don't really go out much as it 'interferes' with the trajectory of my domestic drinking. How sad is that. And when I'm out and at my 'worst' I spend the whole time trying to work out how to order more wine without anyone noticing and feeling scared and anxious when the glass/bottle is low. Amazing how easy it is to look back after 3 days and write that with total shame faced clarity - but as soon as I drink, that starts over again. So, it has to stop).

Hang in there, babes. We can do this - whatever 'this' looks like for each of us.

sweet it really is! Jesus walks amongst us!
Hi to all Babes. Day 4 done - hint of a wobble but not enough to trigger a full on craving. I just think, that finally, I was ready to stop. I'm usually climbing the walls by day 3 or 4 but not this time. Also sticking to th exercises and low carbing. Fish with a delicious home made pesto tonight (use pistachios instead of pinenuts) and start C25K tomorrow. Eeek.!
Also, as I reach the ripe old age of 55 very soon, I have decided to draw down some of my pension, pay a chunk of the mortgage (one step nearer to freedom) and finally, finally get the bedroom done . Fitted wardrobes for storage, a new carpet (this one is about 30 years old - seriously!) and a new bed. Am SO excited to have a nice room to be in for the first time ever. Feeling good.

Small I find it in situations where I'd usually have a drink next to me that I suddenly feel weird and confused, like I've forgotten something.

Having a curry = my pint is missing
Nice bolognese = where's my wine?
5.30 kick off on Saturdays = tin of craft beer would usually be opened now
Getting in from a hard day = how do I unwind without a g&t?

It's like I've gotten so used to a drink being paired with all situations that I feel like I'm missing a limb.

Does anyone else get that?

ghost I can relate to that.
Reading a book, having a bath, surfing the net - where's the glass of wine?

I switch to hot drinks during Dryjanuary to completely disassociate from the whole having a glass of something. Cup of tea seems to break the link for me

Demented exactly. I've got a cupboard full of horlicks, options mint chocolate and herby teas ready for the month. Though I've probably had about 2 horlicks a day so far so that's a good 600 calories 🤪

At least I'll just be chubby this year. Instead of drunk/hungover AND chubby.

I've been lurking for years but its time to out myself, just to signify my intentions. I'm a heavy drinker and it is damaging me, and setting really bad example to my darling sons. Had a big bender last night with some old friends who came to dinner. 7 bottles were in recycling this morning..... I can hardly remember a thing which is awful, these mates live overseas and I don't spend enough time with them as it is. DH told me that kids were really upset as i was visibly pissed early on. So Dry January it is, at least to start with. I'm bored of the incessant internal monologue about booze, before and after. Shame I completely suppress it during a drinking session. You babes are so honest I need to learn to be honest to myself. This is a problem and i owe it to the kids and myself to sort it out for once and for all. So day 1 done. Hope you are all keeping to your own intentions and breaking through your barriers xx

Morning.

Ma you sound so positive. Having a lovely room to retreat to is the least you deserve.

SmallFox, my plans are take down the Christmas decorations and Spring clean so that I feel we are tidy enough to consider looking for a cleaner (which will be my sober luxury).

Ghost I get it, a glass of wine while I cook, fizzy wine with Saturday evening TV . Relaxing after work. I got into a serious TeaPigs Super fruit habit last year, I managed to make that my after-work relaxing drink.

Weeweewoman welcome.

I slept in untill 7.45 this morning, most unusual for me, so let the healing begin!

welcome wee. You've just done that big first step by admitting you have a problem and coming to join us. You will get loads od support on here

Morning all
Welcome weeweewoman totally recognise the internal monologue re drinking or not drinking. I am still doing that one day at a time. As thebabes says above I say to myself today I’m not drinking. This really helps me as I’m not necessarily ‘depriving’ myself for ever but just today I won’t have a drink and will review the situation tomorrow. But it takes away the immediate possibility of drinking for today so you don’t have to give it any more headspace today if you know what I mean.
Sweet Hi glad to hear you slept better.
Small know what you mean about feeling great without a drink but still crave it. Let me know if you find the answer.
Ghost yes agree re the pairing of drinking. My great one is making Sunday lunch whilst peeling potatoes veg etc. The obligatory glass of wine to hand!
So much good advice and support on here at the moment and so much to relate to.
I’m off to the gym again.
Have a good day everybody

Trust oh god I hadn't thought of that one! I'm going to have to cook a roast tomorrow without a nice glass or 4 of red or lovely amber ale!

Do you know what though, I know I romanticise a lot of these situations in my head. In reality it's not sipping a nice relaxing glass of wine while I cook, it's more like I down 3 glasses then don't really feel like eating the lovely food I've cooked and have to hide the nearly empty bottle.

Same with a nice craft lager while watching the football on tv Saturday, the reality is I'll have 5, then move onto the bourbon by the 3rd game and pass out in front of the tv before motd starts.

Wee Yep I know that feeling. Looking forward to seeing people I don't see enough, then getting ruined, not remembering much and spending the day wondering if I was merely chatting tipsy amusing bullshit, or full on slurring and being very noticeably drunk in front of family. I'd also probably look at the recycling and tell myself we'd all had a bit, but in reality I'd have drunk 3 of the 7 bottles.

well, that's it. Christmas has been put away - Inside and Out. The house looks a little bare, but also fresh and uncluttered.

I've set up an online savings account and I plan to add to it every day that I don't drink. £5 per day. I know I probably spent much more than that, but I am buying more teas and AF drinks, so I've allowed a little for that.

What a brilliant idea Sweet, I may well copy that.
My son and DiL are here this weekend and drink will be taken, though I’m planning to moderate. I’ll be back on the bus tomorrow.

Day 5 done. having an AF beer or 3 because its the weekend so I don't feel too deprived but I have been surprised how "easy" these first 5 days have been. This is not to sound smug or belittle anyone who's struggling/ Most of you know me well enough and how long I've been on here to know I can relate to struggling!!!! it just feels different this time. fingers crossed it lasts.
I also did Day 1 of Week 1 of Couch to 5K. Dear God!!!!
This had all better be worth it!

Evening hope everyone is having a quiet Saturday night.

I’m on the zero Prosecco- it’s ok.

Loved waking up hangoverfree this morning.

And I’ve been to the football and only had a coke- and we won.

Hello all.

My phones being an idiot so not letting me copy and paste the link. But Jack Munroe has written an artical today about her first week alcohol free and her issues with alcohol.

Have a read I thought it was really moving.

Everton Fan, efc??

Thanks Saywhen, you’re right, this is moving and powerful:

www.theguardian.com/society/2019/jan/05/jack-monroe-i-am-an-alcoholic-mea-culpa

Well done all babes for a brilliant start to January!

Yes ma I’m an Everton fan- no wonder I drink!

Thanks for link I’ll have a read now.

In bed with cuppa.

Night everyone.

Thanks for the warm welcome everyone, and thanks for all the posts about your adventures today. ma thumbs up for C25K Day 1, hope it wasn't too chilly. I managed a trot this morning - annoying although I had a clear head, I was quite sluggish, and forgot until later it was because I had curry last night...... I have many bad habits left ;-)

Sweet I copied your concept of a sober luxury and also de-Christmas'ed the house a bit, and recognised how much more pleasurable it was with a clear head. (Cleaning-pleasurable-strange things are afoot!)

Saywhen and Margie thanks for that link, she is pretty inspirational so look forward to it. There's also some good bits in Guardian magazine, including a piece from a professional cocktail writer who has packed in the booze.

I'm in bed now - and really looking forward to Day 3. Thank you all. Night night X

Morning All.

Sober sleep seems to be kicking in . Friday was a disturbed night but I managed to get back to sleep and sleep late; last night I stayed up 'til 11pm and slept through undisturbed.

WWW the sober luxury is important, most of us use booze as a reward, so it needs replacing, but it's Lux who is the Queen of it . Just deal with one bad habit at a time though, the rest will get easier.

Slings, in the past, I've tracked my savings on the DJ app, but I've never actually put anything aside before.

Anyway, on with Sunday. Dog to walk (when it gets light), fruit tea to drink.