The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Step Into Our Christmas Thread!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

A HUGE welcome to the Bus!

This is the one and only Gerald. Over the years, we've travelled far and wide gathering some truly remarkable Babes along the way, all of whom have been (and remain to be) at different stages of their own personal journey to sobriety or controlled drinking, depending on what it is that they want to achieve.

We have those who drink daily, those who drink occasionally, and also those who have been sober for some time. The one thing that you won't find here, is any judgey knickers! We're ALL here because at one point or another, we've hit our own "rock bottom" and then smashed the shit out of the FUCK IT button! (makes a note to order a new FUCK IT button)

This is without doubt one of the hardest times of the year for many of us, what with Christmas parties, alcohol on tap, supermarkets who have offers galore of various tipples stacked from floor to ceiling, and EVERY advert on TV shows you what an amazingly cool person you can be if you were drinking whatever brand of alcohol they're flogging! Even Christmas puddings and Brandy creams are tempting fate because as soon as you digest even a small amount of alcohol, it makes your body crave more, just like smoking, medication and recreational drugs................

Then there's the gifts that you're given! Champagne Truffles, Liquors, wines, spirits, you name it! So unless you've told people about your planned journey, people assume that buying gifts like that completely acceptable. So, some may feel obliged to consume such gifts and why not? It's Christmas after all. Then we have the New Year festivities..... parties, friends and family over to have drinks because you'll stop drinking after New Years' Day won't you?

It's so damn hard not to drink if that's what you've been doing all year anyway before you even reach this time of year!! How will you cope with your Great Aunt who will check for dust by running finger over ever surface, or Uncle knobhead who will be there in his cream suit, with that suspicious stain on it and his burgundy shirt asking for a Babycham! Also, let's not forget the in-laws/out-laws! We can sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves that we convince ourselves that we DESERVE that glass or seven of wine etc.

At the end of the day, if you want to drink, then you will. I appreciate that doesn't sound supportive but it's certainly true in my case. As I have said before, the most amazing thing about this Bus and those who travel along with it, is the fact that every single one on board has a story, a reason why they're here, and we all need support in one form or another. Yes, alcohol may be the one thing that we ALL have in common but it goes way deeper than that doesn't it? Life, love and laundry for a start!

Even if you're not ready to stop or cut down on your drinking yet, that's fine! You're still welcome to hop aboard the marvellous Gerald. We're a very varied bunch of Babes but we welcome anyone in need of support, even if you're not ready to say everything that you want to yet, or you feel the need to name change, that's fine! Just know that we're here for YOU for as long as you need to be.

Mouse xxx

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CATCH UP FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF

Good luck efc! What a rubbish end to your night. Sounds like the friend is struggling with alcohol herself, hence feeling theeatened by you not drinking. Enjoy the run!

efc a puker in the car is not good! DH and DS wnet down for the gme yesterday - they were not happy bunnies!
The chaps were mostly in their trews last night at least the military chaps were. Civvies were in kilts. It was a weird evening. Good food, attentive hosts, lots to drink - all counter balanced by several renditions of Rabbie Burn's poetry which is really not to my taste at all so had to keep polite smile on my face and stifle yawns. Do you know how LONG "Tam o' Shanter!" is???
Lots of standing up and sitting down for various toasts - do pass the port darling - so quite an exhausting affair!

Feeling better after a lazy weekend except I can't sleep. Keep getting the sweats and burning up. OMG hot flushes? Anyone know if connected to AF month? Or likely to be the more obvious? I'm mid forties.

Another interesting experience on Sat. DH went to pub Sat evening and came in a bit pissed. I really tried not to judge, but I couldn't help myself. He was a bit slurred, seemed really thick and annoying, and he really irritated the kids making stupid comments and then dozing in front of the telly. How many times have I done that? And thought I was funny....... Not even feeling smug at this realisation, actually a bit sad..

Morning

ma I was at the game it was grim- but atleast I only have a 20 min drive home!

wee could the sweats be a virus? Lots going round? It is an eye opener watching drunk behaviour.

I ran yesterday, enjoyed it although exceptionally cold! Not looking for to work- I’m so busy but makes it easier not to drink.

wee. Yes, sounds more like you have a temperature than a flush. Mid-forties is a transitional time though. There’s been another MN thread about the, often seismic, changes we go through in this decade, especially as women. I also get you with re-evaluating the drunk behaviour. Your relationship to alcohol changes in my experience, from it being something sorely missed to looking back on a puzzling friendship that seemed great at the time but now you’re beginning to wonder why.

Mint well done on the run! You’ve inspired me to try and get beyond 6k.....on a treadmill.

well after "treating" myself to wine yesterday I had a shit night's sleep, woke up groggy and sluggish and with a pounding headache. Belly bloated up and generally felt crap.
That will be because I tipped a load of toxins down my throat perhaps?
Hadn't realised how I had got used to feeling like that every day!
Am safely in bed with hot chocolate and back on the straight and narrow.

Oh, and I also applied for my boss' job today!!!

ma good for you! I really hope you get it, but I'm glad that you are even trying. And tomorrow morning there should be no groggy feeling.

Brilliant, Ma - I am so glad (not about the toxins, obv). Really pleased you went for it.

Thanks for the nice words over the weekend. Still feeling a bit meh, everything on top of me and I feel like despite looking after myself hugely in Jan (no booze, wholesome food, mindfulness and exercise) I have no resilience at all and am perennially weey. I am pretty certain that this is age related - though at least the hot flushes have pretty much gone away in the absence of booze.

Oh well, onwards and upwards. Waves to all.

That's v funny, I have even managed to cheer myself up - perennially 'weey'. Spot the missing 'p'. Though in a year or two I am sure it will be accurate as written..

Hi Babes,
I look forward to reading the thread every evening, you lovely ladies who I could pass unknowing in the street are my virtual friends. You make me smile & laugh out loud, feel sad for some of the crap you are dealing with and occasionally weep.
I love the photos too.
I failed DJ - after my blip I lost my mojo, I did 23 dry days of 31.
Ma I "treated" myself to wine last night, ended up drinking the whole bottle. Crap sleep and sluggish all day, not to mention paranoid that everyone at work could smell my winey breath (I hate that). I feel like I have 2 people in my head, one who is sensible and health conscious and the other, dominant one who convinces me that I deserve it and anyway I'm only going to have 1 glass so what's the harm..
In March it will be 2 years since I stopped smoking, I need to think about how I managed that and re-use some of strategies ( though to be honest I'm not entirely sure how I managed it!)
Small and Crafty I had horrendous night sweats last year (& yes they were worse on drinking nights), after trying oestrogen only HRT with no success I'm now on citalopram which seems to be doing the trick and has also calmed down my awful mood swings.
Ma good luck for the job.
Sorry for the mammoth post

Hello everyone

All good here. Keep having same thoughts about treating myself to have a drink but ma and anne thank you for reminding me it’s not really a treat and I’ll feel worse tomorrow.

small that’s a good typo! I was expecting to be glowing and slim after a quite wholesome Jan but sadly not the case.

I think this time of year is tough for everyone. It's cold, damp, dark and there are loads of bugs around. Even if we don't get flu' or anything else really horrible we're fighting bacteria and viruses at a sub-clinical level.

That means 2 things:

1. that we need to take great care of ourselves so that our immune systems are strong and prepared
2. that when we do feel a bit 'under the weather' we recognise it as something significant, and take great care of ourselves.

Do you see the similarity? This time of year, in particular, take great care of yourself. So nice soups, lovely vegetables, fresh fish, a bit of tasty meat [no innuendo ma , warming stews made with slow cooked cheap cuts of meat, some fresh salad, gentle exercise, a walk on a frosty morning, a cycle ride as the day closes, a swim in a warm pool, a yoga class, meditation, jigsaws, knitting, crotchet, colouring-in, a long bath, an early night, an afternoon in bed, a laugh with a friend, a hug with someone warm, a long evening gazing into a fire, a good book, a massage, a visit to a library, a trip to the beach....

I bet that all sounds good, relaxing just to read and imagine it. And nothing in it requires a bottle of wine, a nip of vodka. All of this is ours for free....

Take care beautiful babes. Spring WILL arrive - look out everywhere for the little signs of it, the shoots appearing from the earth, the stick-like trees that have slight swellings which will soon be buds, the brave snowdrops...

Gorgeous post - thanks Venus. Feel swathed in a blanket of toasty calm just reading it. Thank you!

Sorry - meant also to say Anne, you didn’t ‘fail’. Dry Jan puts artificial pressure on for a ‘perfect’ score. You did brilliantly: look at the dry days not the other ones.
Thanks for the reassurance that the drugs can help!

Quiet on here last night... is everyone tucked up warm?

February can be a challenge after the enthusiasm of January, but each af day that we had is another step in the right direction. Keep on, keeping on.

Very quiet, Venus. You ok? Is it just you, me and the tumbleweed?

I'm quite enjoying the post-dry-Jan feeling - feels a bit more real and less of a 'thing' now. Not quite sure how to put it.

How is everyone? Where is everyone? Please bring us soldiers to play with, Ma?

Hi

I’m still here! Not had a drink in February. Love waking up with no headache!

Managed to walk the dogs after work yesterday and it was light at that time for the first time in months. Which is positive.

Weekend is filled with being a taxi for the kids!

I’m here! Sorry I’ve been AWOL, I’m sure there’s lots to catch up on but I haven’t read back yet.

Loved your post Venus, yesterday I noticed that the evenings are definitely lighter for longer and it gave me such a buzz. Not long until spring now.

Today I’m feeling proud of myself as I told my boss a few home truths which I’ve been meaning to say for a while. My boss is extremely scary and I can’t believe I had the (metaphorical) balls to stand up to her, but it feels like such a weight off. And I didn’t get shouty or emotional, I kept my calm - if this is what getting older does then maybe it’s not all bad!

Hope all babes are fighting the good fight.

Cross post Margie well done on standing up to your boss.

Evening all! Go Margie go on, spill the beans. What did you say? Tell us, you rebel you.

So I gently eased myself into the sidecar with a couple of glasses of wine after work. I deliberated and decided better that than wait until the riskier giddier occasion tomorrow when i would publicly break my duck and be a bit more under the spotlight. Anyway, semi-full bottle in the fridge, not hidden in the recycling (or topped up with water so he doesn't know I've sunk most of it!?! when he goes for his milk in the morning.... Yes, i know....) Haven't had enough to deserve fuzzy head, broken sleep. Interested, and a bit nervous that 'deserving' has nothing to do with it.

venus that was a beautiful post about what we all do deserve these February days, thank you. small, efc, ma hope you are all well. Anne,you gave up smoking? You're so strong, you've definitely got the grit you need to stay the best side of AF whenever and however you choose.

All the babes on the bus, posting AND lurking, sending you peace and joy and

Nearly the weekend xx

Phew, lovely to see you babes! And well done Margie!

You ok, Sweet? Hope so.

Feeling a bit better today. Looking forward to the weekend, even though I too am spending it pretty much as taxi driver. But I guess I wouldn't have it any other way. Probably.

thought I'd lost you all.
well done on speaking up margie. How are you doing?
I have a massage with the lovely Derek tomorrow and can't wait!

Weather is wild tonight and blowing a hooley. Hope we don't lose slates.

Evening all! Hope you aren’t being buffeted by Erik. Oo er!

Margie. Well done in telling it like it is.

Ma. Is Derek able to travel? . Enjoy the massage in any case. Sounds just the thing after your travails.

Quiet evening here after a busy week. Discovered our favourite ‘local’ not only stocks all the Seedlip range, but does Brewdog ‘Nanny State’ ale as well. I shall go to the pub, if not the ball.

Have a great weekend all.

I'm still here - almost made the 6 week mark. It is weird how little I miss it. However, there is a strange side effect which was that I have become a total sugar monster. I have always had a sweet tooth but it has got ridiculous, and in the same way it is with alcohol (the more I have the more I want) so now I've had to cut out refined sugar as well before all my teeth fall out.

Slightly disappointed that giving up alcohol has not transformed my physical appearance or made me feel more energetic. I really want my epiphany!!

Hi guys

Could I please join your bus?

Im a 43 year old mum of 3 and have a problem controlling my drinking.

My whole life I’ve got paralytic - sleeping with people I shouldn’t, pissing off friends, blackouts, getting myself into dangerous situations.

Amazingly I found a wonderful man and have 3 great kids; but I still get too drunk; maybe every few months. But at dinner parties or lunches with the kids - not remembering the end of the day. I got completely pissed at a work event last year and acted very badly, resulting in me getting assaulted by a colleague and taxi driver. Then I got pregnant and it stopped and I did a lot of reading - soberistas and sober literature.

But then I had the baby and last night I got drunk again - at a school event with people I don’t know well (I always get most drunk when I’m in socially awkward situations - I’m pretty sensitive and shy). I think I was nice; just over friendly and slurring.

But it’s all hazy at the end and I have that familiar self hatred this morning. It’s awful.

So I don’t know what to do - give up completely or just the big sessions? I appear unable to moderate. My husband and friends all drink heavily.

I dont drink 3-4 nights a week, and can normally moderate with good friends or my husband. It’s binge drinking at group events that harms me. I am very sensitive to alcohol and get drunk quickly and then I seem to have a ridiculous stamina and consume vast amounts. I’m not able to control it and get myself into unsafe situations or am unable to care for myself.

My father was an alcoholic and I know it’s in my genes. I want to be a better mum and it harms my self esteem. I’m ashamed of myself and worried about the school mums (I think I was ok but I’m quite reserved normally so am quite embarrassed as I’m an extrovert when drunk).

Any advice and support would be brilliant thank you.