Strip clubs

[saralogan234]

Just wondering what the general opinions are on partners going to strip clubs?

My DP has his Christmas party tonight and I know every year it ends in a strip club. Quite happily for me he's always home before that bit of the night (a few of them do drugs and my DP is massively anti drugs so just shows his face and comes home), so I've never had to sort of say anything about it. But my friend who's partner goes, always goes to the clubs and has a "personal dance".

She has absolutely no issue with it and says it's just what men do, but I've got to be honest, I really wouldn't like it if my DP even went, let alone had the personal dance!

Am I being a bit over the top or would you feel the same? I guess it's each to their own?

Private Dance makes it sound like Victor Sylvester. In truth it's a sleasy commercial transaction.

My DH has always said he can't understand paying to get blue balls.
Because surely it gets you all hot under the collar and then you can't do anything about it. Or do you then go home and shag your wife thinking about these other women?
I wouldn't be okay with it and DH has always said he wouldn't want to do it. So it's not really come up again in any sense, I have no clue how much a private dance costs, but we're on quite a low income at the moment and I would not be happy if he used our family money for a private dance, besides I'd give him one for free but I don't think it would be half as sexy at 21 weeks pregnant and tired from being up with our 16mo all night 😂

@user1479305498

For me it is exactly that. I don't mind porn. But I do mind private chats and webcam stuff. For me there is difference between just watching and then getting of due to a specific person who is doing it only for you. It turns from masturbation to sex at that point. Also I don't think it's ok if my partner paid someone for sex which a webcam would be. But watching a porn clip that million others have is not personal.

I don't also mind strip clubs if it's only occasionally on stag nights. I do have a problem with lad dance or private room. Then it goes from just looking into more private and person specific arousal.

My DH has always said he can't understand paying to get blue balls.
Because surely it gets you all hot under the collar and then you can't do anything about it.

They go for a wank in the toilets if they’re that turned on. Have you ever met men? :P

Ok they are lewd and disgusting places. Do your research it’s much more than you think. Personally I would not let any man who goes in those places touch me ever again. It’s cheating and disrespectful on every level .

ZOMBIE

I am dead against all that and through my life all my partners have been told in no uncertain terms that such behaviour would be a dealbreaker for me, and I will stick to my word for the rest of my life. It's gross, selfish and disrespectful, in my eyes it is cheating and the paying element makes it sordid and horrid. I would not carry on in a relationship for one minute if I found out they had been near one of those places. It would be an instant turn off and total loss.of any respect for them. If other women are ok with it, each to their own, everyone has different boundaries so I would not judge anyone. For me it would be the point of no return.

we had the stag basically being humiliated on stage. It was hilarious.

I guess you just had to be there...

I wonder:
If it is so perfectly fine and normal, nobody will bat an eyelid if his/her DC or DP etc. took this on as a second job?

@SenoraSurf

I would 10000% rather my DH went to a strip club. Most UK clubs have strict licensing rules and for the most part, it's all an illusion and merely entertainment. Of course you get some girls that break rules like in any industry. However, your husband is much more likely to get grinded on and propositioned for actual sex or other acts in a normal club compared to a strip club. Women in normal clubs will be drunk and be more likely to lose their inhibitions. Strippers are at work, making money, mostly sober and chasing £ not affairs or one night stands.

I was a lap dancer for 10 years and most of my friends still are.

I don’t understand - you’re suggesting the op doesn’t trust her partner to not pull someone in a nightclub? If the only thing stopping a persons partner from pulling someone else is keeping them away from nightclubs then they have a bigger problem!

"Its just what men do"?

There is yet another woman with massively low expectations and standards.

I was a lap dancer for 16 years and would not be happy with a partner/ husband frequenting one.
Most of the girls are professional, but there are others who are extremely pushy due to the want/need for money and men more often than not will allow themselves to be talked into a dance, particularly whilst drunk.
When I used to chat to a customer, I'd ask once if they wanted a dance. The moment they said no, I would wish them a good night and move on. The ones who claimed to love their wives were often the worst. In my a handful in all those years stuck to their guns, had a few drinks and left. Many got slaughtered and by the end of the night were asking for extras (which I absolutely never did, but there were some girls who did).
Myself and the majority of the friends o have that worked alongside me consequently have serious trust issues with men.
For the most part, in my honest opinion, men are slimeballs.
The worst comment I ever heard was whilst dancing for a man, and I'll never forget it.
'Had to come and see some nice pussy as my wife's to had a baby and hers looks like roadkill'
I slapped him round the face and had him removed. Appalling attitude.