Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Found viagra in DPs jacket after night out

101 replies

cheatinghubbie · 16/12/2018 19:33

With dp 17 years, three kids.

Basically he went out on staff night out the other night. I came down the following morning and was looking for money for kids book fair in school and looked in his blazer jacket and there was a four pack of viagra with only two in it.

I know from experience dp can't 'perform' when drunk. But we have never used it before.

The blazer was left in kitchen all weekend and moved today and I checked and viagra is gone.

My 'plan' was to let him put it somewhere else, leave it a few days and say I found it in underwear drawer or wherever he hid it but now I can't find it.

Think I'm just going to have to ask him out straight tonight.

He works with only men, but they meet up with a group of women they work closely with.

OP posts:
Original poster
cheatinghubbie · 16/12/2018 19:34

Meant to say the reason I was going to say it to him when I found it in new place was so that if it was sinister he wouldn't just quickly say he got it from friend on night out. Like he wouldn't know I know it defo went out on nights out iykwim. I'm confusing myself here!

OP posts:
ThreeLittle · 16/12/2018 19:38

Honestly, he’s probably been using it without you knowing and admitting it or lying about it (if you find it again), will be down to embarrassment.

I’d recommended speaking with him about it rather than stressing yourself out with worry.

AnyFucker · 16/12/2018 19:39

Why were you so confident you would find the packet when he moved it ? Confused

Feckers2018 · 16/12/2018 19:43

If its so innocent why would he take it out with him. Sex workers would be my first thought. Don't understand why you would wait till he moved it. I wouldn't say anything whilst I found out what was going on. Check bank records etc

Josuk · 16/12/2018 20:41

‘If it was sinister’?
Are you hoping there is an explanation, that isn’t?
If he got it to use at home, secretly - it’d be in some sort of a place with his toiletries.

As it’s after the night out - and two are gone - either him and his buddy each took one when they scored....
OR - and this is worse - he and his lady friend shared it. And that would imply she knows him well enough to trust him to take a pill from him.
(Viagra also works for women - can make orgasms more intense, etc)

Kennycalmit · 16/12/2018 21:15

I personally would say nothing for now and look out for other clues or info

Whatever you say to him, he will probably turn around and say he takes them before you two sleep together because he can’t get hard regardless of whether he’s drunk or sober. You will have zero proof that he’s lying

I’d spend a week or two trying to find out extra info. If I couldn’t find anything else then I’d have it out with him about the viagra. Either way it’s not looking great Flowers

mooncuplanding · 16/12/2018 21:17

The obvious explanation is he’s having sex with someone else

What else could it be?!?

Josuk · 16/12/2018 21:26

Forgot to add - agree with other posters - asking him now won’t get you anywhere.
He’ll make it that it’s for the two of you.
If you want to find out - then you need to lay low and observe.
But - only do that if you are prepared for the explosion that may ensue.

Don’t think - i’ll Investigate in case it’s nothing. It’s ublikely that it’s innocent.

notapizzaeater · 16/12/2018 21:28

Why else would he have it ? It would be enough for me, the intent was there

Nicelunch25 · 16/12/2018 21:39

What about looking for side effects? Like when he had them? I think my ex had headaches and dry nose after taking it but there are other side effects.

ThreeLittle · 16/12/2018 21:46

There are no long lasting side effects, and having cigars isn’t a sign that he’s cheating (granted it could be).
Did he come home?
If so, he may have took one before getting home in the hope of some late night action with the wife.
Rather than encourage catching out, surely the correct thing is to talk about things and see if there are issues causing it rather than trying to find a reason to end things?

If you are trying to find a reason to end things, then it’s ended already, you don’t need a reason.

Sisterlove · 16/12/2018 21:56

Does he use it for sex with you? That you know of?

neverbetrickedagain · 16/12/2018 22:53

Sorry OP, it doesn't sound good.
Can you tell the difference when having sex with or without viagra? It usually makes them harder than they normally are. It feels sort of artificially hard and it doesn't go down.
Also, I think if he meant to use it with you, the pills would have been in your bedroom/bathroom and not his pocket. Sorry, but I'm speaking from experience.
Also, I wouldn't say anything yet. Instead I would watch carefully and try to investigate.

Original poster
cheatinghubbie · 16/12/2018 23:36

I'm sorry for wasting everyone's time but I found the viagra tonight before I mentioned it to him. He had put it into our 'Sex bag' which is just our bag under bed with a few Sex toys and condoms etc.

He had got it from a friend in work to try out at home :) I should have just asked him out straight initially but just wanted to gather evidence of it was something sinister.

OP posts:
Youmatter · 16/12/2018 23:44

Aw I was really hoping this was the response because I was going to say he’s probably confided in someone at work.

I’m so glad for you. YOU HAVE A GOOD ONE

Original poster
cheatinghubbie · 16/12/2018 23:49

He definitely doesn't have any problems getting aroused anyway. I think he is just hoping for a marathon Sex session when we eventually get a break away from the kids!

OP posts:
DogMamma · 16/12/2018 23:52

In was just about to write any chance he confined In a friend and they gave them to him...

Youmatter · 16/12/2018 23:58

A nice outcome for once! This is lovely ☺️

springydaff · 17/12/2018 00:01

What a relief it's a good ending. Phew!

AnyFucker · 17/12/2018 00:21

You didn't waste anyone's time Flowers

BollockingBaubles · 17/12/2018 00:27

What is a sex bag and do I need one? 😀

IAmALionessHearMeRoar · 17/12/2018 02:14

I don't want to rain on your parade, OP. But but sounds like you swallowed a very poor lie.

I understand that you want to believe him because the alternative is unthinkable. But I strongly suspect he has already done the unthinkable.

Flowers
Aquamarine1029 · 17/12/2018 02:43

He got it from a friend at work? Really?

You've actually fallen for that bullshit?

NotTheFordType · 17/12/2018 03:09

@josuk

No, it really doesn't.

NotTheFordType · 17/12/2018 03:11

y@OP Im glad this ended happily!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.