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Original poster

If you're in love with your partner, what does it feel like?

92 replies

ApplesAndPearsStairs · 13/12/2018 23:54

I'm married with 2 children. DH and I are having marriage guidance counselling at the moment and I'm not sure whether I want to continue in the relationship. I'm not sure if I love DH. If you're in love, please can you tell me how you know? Or how you feel? I'm interested to see if I have any of the same feelings or experiences as you. Thanks so much.

OP posts:
ImportantWater · 14/12/2018 00:03

I don’t know if I am “in love” but I know I love my partner. I am not sure the following is completely it, but: I know he is on my side. I can (and do) spend most of my time with him and am happy to do so. I feel comfortable with him. I feel he has seen me at my worst and doesn’t care. I like touching him and like him touching me. I like sleeping in the same bed as him. I want him to be happy. I feel he is family, home.

CatAndHisKit · 14/12/2018 00:15

Important your post is just what I'd want in a partner (I'm single atm)! spot on about how love feels in an LTR.

snuggledonthesofa · 14/12/2018 00:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SimplySteve · 14/12/2018 00:23

Like she's an extension of me. That I cannot contemplate life without her. Utterly besotted. Like she's my very best friend, who often knows what I'm thinking and knows when I'm upset/troubled. Amongst many other traits.

Crunched · 14/12/2018 00:31

I am ‘in love’ with my DH (of 30 years).
He makes me laugh like no one else, he is the only one who really gets me and, even when I frustrate the hell out of him, I still see compassion in his eyes. There is no one who could feel for our DC the way we both do. We have shared so many ups and a few downs that no one else would understand. When he puts his arms round me in bed I feel so secure and loved. When he walks into a room my heart jumps with pleasure to see him.
I won’t go on cos it is a bit Envy (vomit not envy) but you get the gist.

stolemyusername · 14/12/2018 00:43

I'm in love with my husband, we're just past the lust stage (well, I am).

I know I love him as no matter how things go, I still want to wake up with him every morning.

bert3400 · 14/12/2018 00:45

20 yrs together and I can honestly say I am totally in love with my DH. We laugh so much, together and at each other, we are very tactile and affectionate and cuddle lots, great sex...getting better & better especially now the kids are leaving the nest . He never ever gets on my nerves, which is a fucking miracle, cause I'm not that tolerant. I honestly don't mind is bad points ( farting, pants on the floor etc ) because I know this is the best it can ever get & the grass will never be greener. Its the love I always dreamed about .

FoxgloveStar · 14/12/2018 00:46

Good foundations: Equality in relationship. Trust. Shared morals.

Physical attraction: flutters when he puts on a nice shirt, or struts naked out the shower or gives me the look. Kissing and sex are good.

The real magic: feeling safe, wanting him to be happy and successful, supporting each other through joy and sorrow, caring for him, being proud of who he is, being a family with him, being on the same team, accepting faults without reducing the love felt between us, holding hands.

LellyMcKelly · 14/12/2018 04:43

It’s just better when I’m with him. Life feels safer, warmer, more relaxed. Everything is easier. We take care of each other. We have lots of the great sex that make you feel all loose after. He has the most amazing forearms.

jackio2205 · 14/12/2018 05:14

My husband is a royal pain in the arse but I wouldn't have it any other way. I want him to be with me every night, I can't wait for him to get home to me, I enjoy silences on the sofa, cooking for him, his little face I still want to kiss x

Notacluethisxmas · 14/12/2018 05:21

As pp said. Dp feels like home. He always has. Even from meeting him, it wasn't love at first sight. Butbi always felt comfortable around him.

We knew eachother for 18 months and started casually dating. We were both receently seperated when we first met so didnt want to dive into anything. Then one day I just knew I didn't want to casually date him anymore. I didn't want either us to date anyone else. Neither of us had at that point, but the thought of it made me feel ill.

He felt the same. I never worry he will up and disappear, or just not be there for me.

Also as pp said, he can be a pain in the arse. But he is my pain in the arse and even when he is at his worst, I still love and accept him. And he does me.

ImogenTubbs · 14/12/2018 05:25

I'm finding it very hard to feel in love with DH at the moment. He's recovering from a long-term injury and mental health issue which has taken a toll on our relationship. That said, I am in no doubt that I love him dearly - he's a wonderful man, and we have shared so much. We get on brilliantly and he is incredibly kind and respectful to me. I respect, admire and trust him, and miss him like mad when we're not together. I get the odd flash on good days of feeling in love when I have moments of feeling pure joy in his company I'm hoping that as he recovers we will rediscover that more.

MiniTheMinx · 14/12/2018 06:57

DH is the first person I've ever allowed to hug me when I've been crying. The first time I was upset in front of him I went to him and snuggled right into him. Usually I'd hate to be touched.

DH is the only man ive fancied a year in to a relationship. I've usually become bored. I still think he's the most handsome man I've ever seen. Others have agreed, he's gorgeous.

I feel protective of him, I can't bare to see him sad, or upset. Rather than feel irritation I feel I have to make things ok for him.

I'm not affectionate, and never have been. Friends have always commented that I'm physically very stand offish. I'm also very aloof and independent. He is the only person I've felt safe enough with to completely let my guard down.

We don't like to be apart. We sleep curled up. It's like coming home and being where I belong.

We have disagreements. We have had a few rows. Both of us have felt dreadful if we feel we've hurt the other. In the past I'd simply have restated my arguement, refused to compromise and created a bigger distance and sense of autonomy.

I feel what he feels. He is the same. We are very attuned to each other.

He is very romantic, affectionate, generous and tries all the time to find little things and ways of surprising me and making me happy.

Life would be empty without him.

HettieBettie · 14/12/2018 07:01

Like there’s everyone else and then there’s my husband.

smiler0206 · 14/12/2018 07:10

13yrs together, 10 yrs of marriage, 2 dc 8yo and 4yo. We have been through a lot in our 13 yrs, both had near death experiences, family fall outs, health issues, bereavement and more. And we have been by each others sides every step of the way and we couldn't have got through most of it without each other. We have seen each other at best and worst and our love has only got stronger. When you have a near death experience it makes you realise how much people mean to you and how you couldn't live without them. We are a team and share all responsibilities and enjoy making one another happy. My DH is an amazing dad to our girls and an amazing husband and all 4 of us feel blessed and lucky to have each other

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 14/12/2018 07:19

I feel like we are meant to be together. No one I've ever been with before can evem compare. Since meeting him I feel like I've found the place I'm meant to be. I never get bored of spending time with him and him and the kids are the ones I'd choose to spend time with every time.
I still get excited when he walks through the door every evening and I'm glad to see him.

Birdie6 · 14/12/2018 07:20

Together for 16 years, married for 11. Still get a rush of happiness when I see him . I love just being in the same room as him, love snuggling up to him in bed . He gets me, and I get him. We know everything about one another and we still love each other, good and bad.

Herja · 14/12/2018 07:24

He made me feel entirely safe. It was like stepping in to a warm glow when I felt bad and I heard his voice even without seeing him. Nothing I did or said to him mattered because he had been there through everything and undersood even if what I was saying didn't make sense. When I held him, even just his hand, I didn't want to let go. He has just died and I had loved him since I first met him. I am sorry, but I am very maudlin today. But that, that is what my love felt like.

Dandybelle · 14/12/2018 07:24

I feel happy when I think about him, I like talking to him and hearing about his day and I like it when he gives me a cuddle when I'm not expecting it. He also makes me laugh like a drain which I think is an important part of our relationship.

NotyourMummynotyourmilk · 14/12/2018 07:33

I have been married to my DH for 30 years and I am totally in love with him. It hasn’t always felt like this there have been times when I would have happily killed him and I really mean that. Love is a series of peaks and troughs but on here you will always be under the impression that everyone has this perfect state of total love and respect 100% of the time and that is not true. You DO have to work at a marriage and it can be harder than you think. Now all our stresses are lower I totally love my DH, I get butterflies when I and on my way home I get all “teenagery” if he says something funny or loving. It wasn’t like that when I had 2 small kids, no money and he was out all weekend on his bike I don’t think I would have cared if he didn’t come back some days. Stick with your counselling OP it will work if you both want it to.x

Beaverhausen · 14/12/2018 07:38

I get the biggest smile in my face when I see him pull I to the drive from work and run around the house shouting daddies home. I still find him incredibly sexy, I just love being with him.

LizzieSiddal · 14/12/2018 07:38

How long have you been together?

I’ve been with Dh for 30 years and it has gone through stages. I know I’ve been through periods when I’ve thought exactly like you OP, do I still love him? But I think that’s often normal, life happens, with work, children, other family etc etc, you’re bound to think differently sometimes.
Recently I’ve had some counselling as I kept feeling angry with Dh, I’ve now realised where that came from and it’s now resolved. I feel deeply in love with him at the moment and very lucky to be where we are in life, with each other and glad I’ve stuck with it, during those periods when I felt I loved him, rather than madly “in love”.

I hope things work out for you.

smiler0206 · 14/12/2018 07:39

@herja I am so sorry for your loss. You hold on to all them happy memories and take comfort in knowing that he died a loved and cherished man. Sending big hugs for you

OhTheRoses · 14/12/2018 07:44

30 years in.
I can't put it in words really but it's about mutual comfort, respect and trust and wanting to be together.
Picked him up from station last night and he "shone" compared to the other people getting off the train and not just his bald patch

weleasewoderick22 · 14/12/2018 07:56

These posts are lovely, they have restored my faith in long term relationships Thanks

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