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Original poster

If you're in love with your partner, what does it feel like?

92 replies

ApplesAndPearsStairs · 13/12/2018 23:54

I'm married with 2 children. DH and I are having marriage guidance counselling at the moment and I'm not sure whether I want to continue in the relationship. I'm not sure if I love DH. If you're in love, please can you tell me how you know? Or how you feel? I'm interested to see if I have any of the same feelings or experiences as you. Thanks so much.

OP posts:
MiniTheMinx · 14/12/2018 08:05

Herja I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sorry too that there is nothing I can say that can make it easier for you. I guess all you can do is try to be thankful for having had such a great love in your life and keep with you all those happy memories, and try to think life has been and will always be better for having spent that time with him.

LizzieSiddal · 14/12/2018 08:15

Herja so sorry Flowers

buckingfrolicks · 14/12/2018 08:31

Thank you all for sharing. What a heart lifting thread. Wonderful

buckingfrolicks · 14/12/2018 08:32

Herja your living, ongoing love for him shines from your post. I'm so sorry for your loss.

HJWT · 14/12/2018 08:54

@ApplesAndPearsStairs I feel very blessed and grateful to have him, he makes me feel warm inside and like no matter what may happen he will always be there.. I sometimes get emotional of how much I truly love my DH and my DD 🥰

Musti · 14/12/2018 08:59

@herja I'm so sorry. What an amazing man and what an amazing relationship xxx x

I am loving reading these and though still early days it is exactly how I feel for my boyfriend. It is like coming home, attraction, safe, can spend and want to spend all day talking, holding him. Even though I always liked my space in bed with him I want to be wrapped around his big arms all the time. I am hugely physically attracted to him too.

Butteredghost · 14/12/2018 09:05

Unpopular opinion but does it matter if you are "in love". To me what's important: get on generally, kind to each other, both contribute fairly (if not necessarily equally) to finances, housework and parenting. To me that makes a happy life. I've never felt as posters above describe, but I can still be happy in a relationship. Also some people are very much in love, but their relationship is shit because there isn't kindness or cooperation. There's constant arguing, and maybe even abuse but they stay as they are "in love". I know it's not one or the other but clearly love ain't everything.

LizzieSiddal · 14/12/2018 09:17

I get what you’re saying Buttered, especially in a long relationship, it’s usual to not always be madly “in love”.
However I personally wouldn’t be with anyone who I’d never felt “in love” with, especially at the beginning of the relationship.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 14/12/2018 09:23

Butteredghost, I get what you're saying and I agree that those things are more important but for me I need to be in love and have that attraction also. I've had a relationship where everything was good, but no spark and I was always looking around, never completely satisfied.

Aria2015 · 14/12/2018 09:28

Weren't you in love when you first met? I'm in love with my dh, he's the only one that turns my head and if I see him by accident because I bump into him unexpectedly (we live in a small town) my heart sort of leaps and I feel really happy. That's the only way I can describe it, otherwise its just a feeling of just ’knowing’.

LizzieSiddal · 14/12/2018 09:34

I agree Aria Dh is 6ft 2 and I can usually see him first in a crowd. My heart just gives a little leap and I just think, I love that man Grin

crochetmonkey74 · 14/12/2018 09:58

Like a sense of being cherished and cherishing him.
I thought I was in love previously but this is another level of safety, security and being a team above all others. Knowing they'd never let you down

crochetmonkey74 · 14/12/2018 09:59

And yes to seeing him unexpectedly- this happened to us recently and we spent about 40 seconds just grinning at each other

mama1980 · 14/12/2018 10:14

I'm happy when I see him, he is home, I feel safe and loved.
And when he smiles at me my stomach still somersaults and I think I'd go anywhere so long as I was with you.

GreenDinosaur · 14/12/2018 11:10

Interesting thread. I never realised so many people were genuinely happy in their long term relationships. I thought it was the norm to be bored and resentful of each other but you make it work because you're married. Blush

MrsCar · 14/12/2018 11:17

I feel happy and excited when his car pulls up outside (friend of mine who's separated said she felt dread, and relief when he was gone)

I like physical contact, texting him when he's at work.

I'm loyal to him and he to me, in a way that nobody else is.

I enjoy his company. If I was to go out for a meal or the cinema etc, I never enjoy it as much as I would if I'm with someone else.

I miss him a lot if we are apart overnight

NotTheFordType · 14/12/2018 11:18

Like he's a complete and utter twat at times, but you hang on to the 5% of times when he's not.

...Thats what I used to tell myself until I realised the 95% of the time he was being a fucking bell end was having a very serious impact on my son.

JustKeepSwimmingJustKeepSwimmi · 14/12/2018 11:22

I love my husband but Im not "in love". He has no sex drive whatsoever so I dont get "the look" mentioned above or the physical closeness. I do get resentful about this.

However weve been together 12 years, both love the kids and I do love him in my own way.

Trinity66 · 14/12/2018 11:33

been together 15 years and I adore him. I miss him when I haven't seen him enough(due to busy lifestyle with kids/work etc) or if one of us is away for a night or two. He's the first person I want to speak to if something good happens or something bad happens or I need advice on anything. He makes me laugh more than anyone else. He's great company. I really feel like he's on my side and we're a team.

elQuintoConyo · 14/12/2018 11:37

My tits explode just thinking about him Grin it's been 20yrs and we still feel very fresh.

willywillywillywilly · 14/12/2018 11:37

Oh Herja Flowers so sorry for your loss

GaraMedouar · 14/12/2018 11:39

I hope I find this at some point. (50 year old and currently single.....)

Flamingosnbears · 14/12/2018 11:44

I've been with my husband since we were in high school were now 30 and have two children and one on the way I couldn't imagine my life with anyone else he's such a big part of my life. Of course marriage comes in kit form you have to work at it but you remember what's most important and that's each other and everything we have together

purplefig · 14/12/2018 11:44

He feels like an anchor to me. We're totally different and when I feel myself spiraling he's always there. He is calm and compassionate and I can be my real self in a way with him that I can't with others. When he's sad, I genuinely want to cheer him up. He gives the most wonderfully grounding hugs. They are just some of the reasons.

purplefig · 14/12/2018 11:45

@Herja I'm so sorry for you loss. It sounds like you and he had a relationship many people only dream of.