If you're in love with your partner, what does it feel like?

[ApplesAndPearsStairs]

I'm married with 2 children. DH and I are having marriage guidance counselling at the moment and I'm not sure whether I want to continue in the relationship. I'm not sure if I love DH. If you're in love, please can you tell me how you know? Or how you feel? I'm interested to see if I have any of the same feelings or experiences as you. Thanks so much.

Like we're part of the same person. We're connected. I miss him when we're apart. We're best friends and family. I'd be broken if he left me or died. It would be like losing a parent or sibling.
Don't get me wrong though - sometimes I want to kill him 😂

Remember the ready brek add where the kids belly glows? I feel like that all over when I'm with him. Even when we're cleaning up our kids puke at 2am I think wow he's fantastic I'm so lucky. Is that love?

I've been pondering your question - DH and I are nearly 30 years together - and I now realise that just thinking of our times together makes me smile and giggle to myself. I think that says it all.

A loving companion. Someone I want in my life every day.
Someone I can never tire of
He has fabulous legs, the best.
Safety.
After my turbuyfirst marriage...this is calm and peaceful.
Never needing to question what he’s up to in my head because he’s not up to anything
Reliable
Honest
He loves me completely and I don’t have to do anything to prove it or be worthy
Mid 60 s and we can still rumple the sheets
We are a team.
We argue.
He’s quirky like me.
We like being boring together

His stroke three years ago catapulted me into depression. I had to have counselling.
Sometimes when I’m having a bad day and he’s going for a walk, I give him a kiss and whisper...don’t die.
Then we laugh and he says I’ll try not too.

Herja.. I can only imagine the heartache you are going through . There’s no words is there. Just lots of tears .
I used Tobe a counsellor with cruse. I can remember an elderly lady who came after her husband died and she said she used to put her fur coat on in bed, because her husband bought it for her.

I know what she means.

If you can get through a minute, then try for an hour.
Step by painful step.
My husband was a widower. I’m so pleased he was able to cast his grief aside and find me. It must have been hard.

Sending you a virtual hug.

Turbulent first marriage

I don't think I've ever met anyone I like more, not even for a minute.
He's the funniest, most engaging person I've ever come across. He'd do anything for me and our DDs, there's not a selfish bone in his body.
He's seen me at my worst, knows all my flaws and has never been anything but loving and respectful, even when I couldn't say the same for myself.
Wherever he is feels like home and I always feel safe when he's around.
He's polite and articulate, but never a pushover.
I still feel giddy when I wake up next to him, and when he has a stretch in the morning he looks so good to me I struggle to keep my hands off him.
I feel so totally blessed to have built a life together, we've been together 10 years but I still feel like a teenager around him.

I don't think I've ever met anyone I like more, not even for a minute.

Before we got married I remember thinking to myself, I don't think I could meet anyone who makes me happier than he does. That's why I knew he was the one for me and why I never had a doubt about marrying him

Nearly 20 years together and I have always felt safe with my husband. Being physically close to him feels like it's where I am meant to be, every time. I'm not very comfortable with physical affection, apart from him and my children. He's steadfast and loyal and thinks I'm beautiful. We have the same goals. He make me laugh. I know I can count on him.

I don't have anything to add, I have never been in love or loved anyone, but my heart melted reading this thread.
How lovely for those of you that have experienced that depth of feeling.

Comforting, secure and easy.

This thread has helped me immensely today.

Made me realise that what I had with my abusive ex was not love.

But has restored my faith in LTR.

Thanks

I've struggled with the meaning of or the difference between.. love or being in love..

I know I love my partner because the thought of not being with him is unbearable. When he goes away for work or with friends I miss him terribly. I want to close to him. I feel like I need to touch him or be touched by him. To be in his presence. He makes me feel loved and cared for. We never run out of conversation but can happily be in silence together. He has never bored me. He makes me a better person. Pushes me to new limits and tests me with experiences that I wouldn't of done without him.
I feel we are both the same person. He knows me better than any other person. We want the same things in life. Have the same morals and willingly support each other.

Overall he's my best friend.

I have never been the butterfly type, and find it very hard to express emotion as I just don't feel much!

However. I knew from meeting eyes across a pub table that something would happen between us...a few months later as it turned out. And as soon as we started seeing each other I couldn't imagine our breaking up. We moved in together quickly, married 18 months after we first got together. Now nearing 10 yrs with 3 kids.

Neither of us are perfect, but despite not being an emotional person I still know he is right for me. He is honourable, kind, intelligent and has great integrity. He treats everyone with respect, and watching him with our kids makes me really glad we chose each other. I know he is always on my team and vice versa. Does my heart leap when he walks into a room? No, I have never felt that so think that says more about me than him. But I know that I would always rather he was there than not, and he's my favourite person.

Just knowing is the best way to describe it.

I'm crying my eyes out reading these.
I recently left my husband of 10 years despite feeling many of the wonderful things described on here.

All my life I suppose I subscribed a bit to the "love is all you need" notion, but now I believe love is not enough.
He's honest, kind, faithful and gorgeous. But chronically financially unreliable, negative about aspects of life that are familiar to me (my family, some of my friends, my country) which drags me down too. He also doesn't make me feel desired, I never get "that look", he has low sex drive, and rarely if ever complimented me.

I feel safe in his arms, I loved him and fancied him so much it was honestly like winning the lottery getting with him, wehave been through a lot, I feel like he loves me unconditionally.

But the cynical newly separated me would now ask, as well as "what does love feel like", that old MN Realtionships Board favourite, "what are you getting out of this?"

Good luck with the counselling. That was another problem. He wouldn't come to counselling.

We laugh together every day, which fills me with a deep joyous warmth. When we are apart, I sleep with a T-shirt of his to have his scent. He makes me want to be the best version of myself. He inspires me and makes me feel I’ve come home. I never had the sense of any childhood home due to civil war and countless moves across a number of countries, meaning starting all over multiple times. I used to wake up confused in the mornings, trying to work out where I might be, i.e. which country and bed. From the moment he came into my life, I stopped having nightmares and no longer have that panicked early morning jolt. He makes me feel safe. People would not know this because I am this feisty, confident persona to the outside world. He instantly knew about this sad inner scared part of me and I can be myself around him. He always had to be sensible and quite mature, I have brought mischief and laughter into his life. To most people, he tends to be the quiet one and who listens. Around me, he shows his brilliance and glorious deadpan humour and lose friends around us have discovered this too. I still manage to surprise him (which is mostly a good thing). Over a decade on, I love him even more now.

Lovely to read all these descriptions.

However I do agree with strictlyneutral you need the right relationship as well as the love.

For me it’s like two parallel rails along which to travel. I’m not sure love is enough.

Herja

I am a widow who had an wonderful marriage, full of that sense of sunshine, happiness, immense security from our love for each other, the 'look' and the sex and the laughter, building a life together, real joy that bubbled up underneath the everyday.

I miss him dreadfully but am always full of vast gratitude that we had so much time together.

This thread has made me cry, with poignant sadness for my loss, but with joy to read about others' happy marriages. Long may they all continue.

He feels so part of me it's like an extra limb. He is utterly comfortable - I can be me with no inhibitions. He has my back, supports my needs, is my cheerleader. He only has eyes for me but is never jealous. I feel trusted, respected and important.

The lust is at a very low ebb at the moment with 2 small non-sleeping DCs, but the love is as strong as ever.

14 years' strong. Married for 10 years with 3 children now. Huge attraction and obsession at the beginning turned into the most fulfilling and loving relationship of my life. No one else has ever come close. Like others have said, he's my base in life - my anchor, my safety, my comfort, my home and my family. I couldn't love him more. Of course we have had our screaming rows but it always falls back to love.

With my first baby, I really struggled to breastfeed. I needed to manually squeeze drops of colustrum to express to feed her. Whilst I tried and tried, I couldn't get the 'let down' needed for the milk to flow when you express. You need oxytocin (the love hormone) flowing in order to produce the milk. Usually, a baby's crying will help you get there but my baby was jaundiced, sleepy and not helping me. I was desperate and stressed. It was out of visiting hours in the middle of the night. I thought about DH and how much I loved him and the milk just flowed for me.

This is such a beautiful thread. I have loved reading people's thoughts.

This thread is so lovely. I have never ever really felt these things, despite a marriage and 2 long term relationships. I did consider myself 'in love' but clearly wasn't as there was always manipulation, mistrust and resentment behind the scenes.

I am insanely envious. But it has helped me realise I was right to end a relationship recently. I have been wondering if it was a massive mistake but we fulfilled hardly any of the criteria going by this thread.

It's sad, but probably true that many people will never experience it.

For me I feel content, happy and at home with him. He's seen me at my best and my worst and loves me anyway.

He feels like home.

I truly love dh,I prefer to be with him over anyone else (not including ds) he's my world.Ive been married previously and this is the total opposite to how I felt about exH

He's the first person I want to tell anything to.