OLD depression

[Shallowshallow]

Hi all, I have been doing OLD for a few months and have come to the conclusion that it's starting to get me down. I live in a small city, so there are not a lot of men in my area OLD. I am looking much further afield but I don't seem to fancy anyone.

I'm mid-40s and happy enough single. I have an active social life but it would be nice to have a bit of romance. Anyway, today I scrolled through maybe 100 men and not one made me think phwoar, not even close. I am getting messages and winks off men but I am just so disappointed at what's on offer. I have lost count of the men that are clearly lying about their age, who look in their photos like: they just woke up; are poking out their tongue (does anyone look attractive doing that?); lying in a bed with a sheet draped over them., can't spell....

Maybe I am just really shallow, which I really don't like to think about myself.

I am just fed up, I suppose. I think I know myself it's time to come off the sites as it is actually making me feel like I will be alone forever.

Today I got a wink off a man who is in his late 60s. I was also viewed by a man who is 73. I think it's tipped me over the edge I know so many on here are doing , OLD but how do you not let it get you down?

Sorry, just noticed you're mid 40s! similar to me then.

Really pleased to see your update OP and glad you're feeling more optimistic. Great that you have a wing-woman to go to the pub with too - what a lovely friend you have

@Shallowshallow you met a big, bouncer type - he's not the object of the OP's affections in the thread on here, is he? The thread entitled "What am I playing it?"

I matched with my DP on Tinder in August and am now living with him in Canada I met my last significant ex (3 year relationship) on Match and although it didn't work out we're still friends and he's a truly lovely person.

I do get how soul crushing it can be though, I've had a lot of meh dates and come across a lot of flakes and a few weirdos over the years I've done OLD. I dated one bloke earlier this year who just completely vanished out of the blue. Literally messaged as normal one day, I replied as normal and then never heard from him again. I hadn't slept with him thank god but we'd been on quite a few dates over 4 or 5 months and were in pretty much daily contact. It's funny now but at the time I was like It did mean that I reactivated my Tinder profile though and a week later matched with DP so I like to think Disappearing Man was a douchebag for a higher reason

I don't have a crystal ball to know what the future holds but I'm enjoying this crazy ride right now - I honestly am living proof that you never know what is round the corner and life can change beyond recognition very quickly!

The trick with OLD I found is to approach it like if you have a nice evening and meet someone cool and have interesting chat, that’s a win. When I was doing it I was so busy with work, studies, friends, family, hobbies and voluntary work I didn’t feel I had a ‘gap’ to fill so my expectations were low and I didn’t feel upset or let down if a date or five didn’t go anywhere. I think being laid back and open minded worked as I got to meet loads of brilliant guys who were lovely and some become friends, they just weren’t for me romantically.

I did end up meeting my current and previous partners on tinder (best OLD app I found, so quick and easy and low investment). I love OLD, it just makes sense and is more efficient to get all of the single people in one place to meet rather than the lottery that is trying to come across someone in the real world, most people I meet aren’t single, the chances of coming across someone you click with who is also single is so slim. OLD is definitely the future.

I only used tinder for 2 days but I didn't enjoy it at all. Most men I would deem attractive (to me) didn't have anything written about themselves and I just can't go on a picture alone. I 'matched' with about 5 and got one message from one of them and then no more after I replied! I know I could have messaged first but that's what I didn't enjoy Bumble and tried Tinder!