I really want a baby and he doesn't and I don't know how to deal with this

[PoesyCherish]

I've just completely broken down in tears this evening. I was scrolling through Facebook and a post popped up on a group I follow asking what's the one thing people want for Christmas. Several ladies said all the want is to be pregnant as they're at various stages of their TTC journey. I broke down in tears because I wish that was DP and I. After about 20 mins of me crying he asked what was up. I told him and he just didn't say anything at all. I broke down even further and he just fell asleep.

I tell myself there are all sorts of reasons (new job, my university application and the uncertainty surrounding that etc) but the truth of the matter is he just doesn't want a baby. I don't even know how to deal with this. He thinks I'm just hormonal because I'm on my period but it's not just that. All I've ever wanted is a baby. He doesn't understand. He has a baby. Well she's almost 7 now but the point is he's had the whole TTC, pregnancy, birth, baby journey with somebody else. I love DSD to bits but I'll never be her Mum. I want to be a Mum. I want to experience TTC and pregnancy and everything that comes with it. I want to experience holding my tiny newborn, watching them go and seeing DSD grow up to be the brilliant big sister I think she will be (she loves babies right now)

I feel so alone. I can't talk about this with anyone irl. I can't even talk to him about it because he just doesn't want to know. I'm not expecting him to see me upset and suddenly turn around and say he wants to start TTC. I can't force him to want a baby with me nor do I want to. But what I do want is for him to understand and accept how I feel and allow me to feel this way without feeling so alone. How do I deal with this???

Op you are 27 so plenty young enough to have DC with someone who wants what you want.

The next five to ten years are important fertility-wise and it can sometimes take a while to find the one. Give yourself that time. You deserve it.

Meant to add ...

Your post below op where he keeps postponing and saying in two years, and then two years more etc etc. Why is he in charge? Tour input is equally valid. Just be aware that each time the posts move ahead in to the future again, you are not obliged to accept that decision. You can make a decision to move on yourself. Good luck op

OP, you have said:
Your DP was in love with his ex-wife and willingly chose to have a baby with her.
Your DP says that the arguments and instability in your relationship are not good places to bring a baby into.

These two statements reveal the truth, I feel. He doesn't love you enough to want a child with you and he doesn't view your relationship as secure or long-term.

Do not pin your hopes and future on this man. He is not the one for you.

@Alfie190 I don't think for a minute that anyone is suggesting or implying that infertility is a valid reason to leave a spouse. That's really not the point of the post at all - it's about making the decision to start ttc.

A big hug and and sympathies if you are struggling with infertility. It must be awful.

Hi OP. I went through very similar with my DP although he didn't already have children .
I was so broody and he wasn't . He always said he wanted children one day but was always quite vague. The more pressure I put on the more he seemed to resist it. It eventually came to a head and we nearly split. After a long overdue heart to heart we established that I felt that he just didn't want to have children with me and was stringing me along. He felt under pressure from me and that I was only interested in having a baby beyond anything else. The talk we had really helped us cut each other a bit more slack and I did back off from baby talk for a while. Then job circumstances changed dramatically and we moved abroad. Anyway, we now have 2 DCs and DP is a wonderful father.
I hope your DP is telling you the truth that he wants DCs one day. But maybe the pressure is just making him step back? I don't think men can really understand the huge emotional need you feel to have a child. I know for me those intense broody feelings would come and go and DP just couldn't relate. I hope things turn out the way you want them too.