3 years and not met his kids or mum and dad

[chloeblower]

met my partner after a messy divorce of 20 years ,

he has 3 boys and i have one girl, he stays with us when he hasnt got his kids but when he has them we dont see him at all.

at first it wasnt an issue as i thought that would his time with his kids he had been broken from. the first xmas we were together he had dinner at his mum and dads with his kids and was his mums birthday on boxing day he went round there to with is kids . wasnt that long in the relationship so didnt really make anything of it.

then last xmas he had them xmas eve so we booked xmas day out the 3 of us, stll going to his mums boxing day with his kids and us not getting a invite. ( felt hurt ) as it wasnt a normal day .

through this year we have fell out on and of about meeting the kids and his mum and dad but it never has happened. said we would go for something to eat with his parents and its never happened.

we had booked a nice restaurant this year for all of us but he decided i would be too expensive for all of us so that got cancelled and he was going to do something at home, nothing set on stone and still hadn't met the kids yet so that would be awkward. so in the end ive invited myself to a family member me and my daughter.

i have mentioned to him if hes going to his mums again but i dont thinks he being honest with me, just doesnt like taking about it.
his older son goes when the other two do and his girfriend goes who i also have never met

when i tell my friends they say it isnt right? im starting to feel not good about the situation

the kids arent babies neither 18, 16.14

So if you were spending more than half the week living with pour partner and their child, you wouldn't make it clear that you wouldn't introduce them to yours? Just leave them hanging on?

Surely in a 3 year relationship, openness and communication are important

No, but i wouldnt live with a partner half the week. I have my own home my own life. I would also want that in a partner.
Im not saying i wouldnt expect meetings to happen, but they usually happen organically. I wouldnt conciously introduce them to my son or family, and i wouldnt want it the other way either. I dont really have any interest in trying to create a whole new family unit.
That being said if i met someone wiith children of course i would be fine to spend time with them. I have no issue with that. Im good with kids i find them interesting. But if the kids werent asking to meet me and there were already established family routines i wouldnt expect to be included or push the matter to be so.
Once youve done the whole marriage kids and family christmasses once or twice i think its sometimes best to keep it as simple as possible. Alot of the threads on here about blended families or 2nd marriages prove that.
As long as the relationship was respectful, healthy, happy and loving i would be more than happy than that.

I had this with my ex

We were together 3 years, never met his mum or dad, only met one friend, met his 3 kids once but his ex went crazy so he refused to let it happen again

He was a massive part of our life, would stay 3 nights a week, come on family holidays

Hideous!!!!! I think it was a way of making me feel not quite good enough, just keeping things under control.

I'm now in a new relationship, for 8 months. I've met his kids, friends, parents, wider family and work colleagues, I didn't even have to ask, it was gradual and natural

Made me realise how fucked up things were with my ex
You're worth more, move on

@inniu Thefish how do you know he is telling you the truth?

I know because I trust him 100%. I am nearly always in the room when he's on the phone or skype to his mother so I hear the whole conversation.