Amazing husband.. what’s wrong with me??

[Jod07]

So my husband is fantastic like really! He’s hot, he does everything for the kids and I. We have been together forever basically, sex life could be better atm but everyone goes through a little drought right? So my dilemma is... Out of curiousity I downloaded an app I heard some younger girls in work talk about and got chatting to a guy... now I have no intentions of ever meeting up with him but it is quite exciting chatting to him... my husband is currently in the kitchen cooking dinner while I’m being a conplete bitch and messaging another guy!... what the fck is wrong with me!? Like I know this sounds crazy but I honestly don’t know why I’m doing it it’s total self sabotage!... any advice?

Noooo.... they aren't super human robots but they do channel their efforts into keeping the home fires burning instead of dicking around attention whoring on dating aps and flirting with strangers....Not rocket science really is it?

Ignore all the people posting unhelpful judgement. It is normal to look for a bit of excitement or enjoy it. It is not unusual. This doesn't mean you are a bad person, but assuming you have an agreement of monogamy with your husband, it has the potential to blow up in both your faces. Plenty of people are secretly non-monogamous. You may need to decide if that is what you want and if you can handle the guilt etc. Just be careful and protect your husband as best you can while you work out what is going on with you. xx

OP: the real risk is that it's like smoking cigarettes. Of course you don't intend to hurt your H. But you're already admitting its addictive.

Scenario 1: You get complacent and your H discovers these messages. He is naturally hurt and trust is damaged. Once this is done your perfect relationship begins it's slide into imperfection. Distance will be put between you because of the trust issue. Your kisses will no longer be as intimate. Something that was there will now be "missing". This could likely lead to vicious circle which will drive you further and further apart until you think "the feeling's gone - we've changed". Yes, you have changed - but only because your actions set the change in motion.

Scenario 2: Your H doesn't find out, but you get so caught up in giving your romantic energy to these guys on the app that it no longer gets invested in your relationship with your H. Slowly the intimacy you shared will being to wither - you won't be feeding it, your attention will be elsewhere. He might start to notice which will push him further away too. The outcome will be the same as above.

What you have is a butterfly effect. You don't need to go out and sleep with these guys for a deadly chain of events to set in motion. Water the grass on your side and it'll stay green. If he's as good as you say, it'll only ever be greener elsewhere if you neglect it on your side.

I started down this road and have an online affair.

You need to think very carefully about what you are doing- if this is just a bit of fun with random guys it could still cost you your marriage.

Have you deleted it now?

The grass is greener where you water it

I can't even get a husband, let alone an amazing one

How sad !

@Jod07, the first thing to do is ask yourself why you aren't chatting with DH like that. I have experienced that when you have been together for so long the conversations tend to become more about how the bills are paid, how work is going, how the kids are etc., but seldom about how both of you are feeling. Maybe that is why random conversations are so inviting to you?
I'm not saying that what you are doing is OK just that I can understand the initial curiosity. You should delete the app and start chatting to your husband about random stuff, maybe reminiscent about the dates you used to have, what new things you want to do together etc.

It’s understandable. You’ve been with your partner for a long time and with kids etc some of the excitement has gone. You are still young. Is this how you want your life in 10 or 20 years time?

My advice is to sow your oats, preferably having first left your partner. Good luck!!