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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Amazing husband.. what’s wrong with me??

110 replies

Jod07 · 02/12/2018 18:32

So my husband is fantastic like really! He’s hot, he does everything for the kids and I. We have been together forever basically, sex life could be better atm but everyone goes through a little drought right? So my dilemma is... Out of curiousity I downloaded an app I heard some younger girls in work talk about and got chatting to a guy... now I have no intentions of ever meeting up with him but it is quite exciting chatting to him... my husband is currently in the kitchen cooking dinner while I’m being a conplete bitch and messaging another guy!... what the fck is wrong with me!? Like I know this sounds crazy but I honestly don’t know why I’m doing it it’s total self sabotage!... any advice?

OP posts:
NopeNi · 02/12/2018 19:18

"Courage to delete it"? WTF.

This has to be a windup.

Atalune · 02/12/2018 19:19

wow just wow lolz

Grow up! You are behaving and sound like a petulant child.

Ginger1982 · 02/12/2018 19:21

The courage to delete the app...

Get over yourself. Seriously.

LegalEagle99 · 02/12/2018 19:21

I believe you're a narcissist that simply loves the attention and the danger. If your so called amazing family is not enough to stop you even thinking about anything like this, let alone stop you doing it, then the issue is entirely you servicing your own selfish needs.

That's it.

If you don't understand your own thought processes, get professional help and then admit to your husband what you're doing and give him the choice of either staying with you and supporting you with your issues or, leaving and building a new life with someone that would value his worth.

LegalEagle99 · 02/12/2018 19:22

Also, things like this ALWAYS come out. You may think they don't but they always do.

Orange6904 · 02/12/2018 19:23

Op people are being harsh because they have been on the other end of this and it really hurts.

GimbleInTheWabe · 02/12/2018 19:25

What did you expect OP?
'Aw don't worry babe we all do it heehee just harmless fun isn't it?! Lol!'

It's not harmless fun. You're playing with fire and clearly a massive prat. You will get caught eventually and then reality will hit home hard.

Paininthestain · 02/12/2018 19:25

It’s probably a catfish anyway.
Next thing you’ll have given him all your savings for his sick child and you’re husband will have left you and found a lovely new wife
And you’ll spend 50% of your time without your dc and with the awful feeling that you’ve been done over by someone in Nigeria and not this “amazing” man who offered you so much...

Something to think about.
Delete the fucking thing. Now. You do not owe this (likely fake) person anything

ghostlygal · 02/12/2018 19:25

What if someone you know sees your profile on the app and tells your husband?

richdeniro · 02/12/2018 19:26

Do you feel you might be going through a midlife crisis of some sort?

McWilde · 02/12/2018 19:26

Reported. OP sounds too stupid to be real.

bertielab · 02/12/2018 19:28

I'm gobsmacked. Just delete it and stop.

Original poster
Jod07 · 02/12/2018 19:31

I honestly appreciate the helpfu l comments because they are helpful and no it’s not fucking fake it’s real! I know my husband it’s honestly amazing. I think it’s jst the excitement and I don’t want hurt him I love him. I am only in my 20s so not a midlife crisis. I just thought by writing here others may have been through something similar and could help in any way.

OP posts:
Flapjackninja · 02/12/2018 19:32

What do you want to happen OP? If I found DP messaging someone else I would class that as cheating and we would be over. I would not be convinced that it was just a joke/curiosity. Is that what you want? Is it worth the risk?

Many threads on here from the other perspective "I've found a message on DPs phone" etc... and the majority of poster will say that's just the tip of the iceberg and there must be more to it. In your case there isn't but the trust would be gone.

Wolfiefan · 02/12/2018 19:35

Nope. I’ve never been in a similar situation and neither will anyone else who is a decent human being.
Don’t love him? Split up.
Do love him? Pack it in.

OverwateredCheeseplant · 02/12/2018 19:36

What kind of help did you expect from posting here other than people telling you you’re being a hurtful twat and to stop doing it?!

You don’t need ‘courage’ to delete the app, you just need to stop being a selfish cow to your poor husband.

thecatsarecrazy · 02/12/2018 19:38

Delete now before you meet for " coffee" become " friends" seriously it only ends in tears. Bit of fun to start with soon becomes a head fuck

Hopoindown31 · 02/12/2018 19:40

Have you deleted the app yet OP?

joystir59 · 02/12/2018 19:43

Why no sex? That's where you need to focus your attention OP- perhaps even though your oh is lovely, you aren't happy

Rachelle3211 · 02/12/2018 19:45

Do you want to single? Because that is what you are going to make happen. Did you delete it? How would you feel if your dh was doing this? Your dh sounds like a catch I'm sure many women would love to date him.

Omunye · 02/12/2018 19:45

I really hope someone he knows sees you on there.

Renarde1975 · 02/12/2018 19:49

@Legal has it.

You're a narc. An empath would never in a gajillion years even contemplate what you're doing. Never.

He'll, I'm in an open relationship and I feel guilty if a man messages me.

Go away OP. Stop gathering support for your fruitless endeavours.

IWasTrendingThereForAMinute · 02/12/2018 19:53

You are full of yourself but I think you need to see yourself as you really are OP. You wouldn't feel so great then.

SirB0bby · 02/12/2018 19:53

If you've been with him since you were very young, maybe you are bored and perhaps feel you missed out on playing the field when you were younger. If you carry on down this path you will end up wrecking your marriage. You need to think of ways to get the spark back into your relationship with your husband. The grass is rarely greener on the other side of the fence.

Mummyshark2018 · 02/12/2018 19:55

Op the fact that you're on Mumsnet writing about it means that you're doing it with your eyes wide open- so it's even worse behaviour than if chatting to a man romantically etc happened to happen organically.
My advice- wise up and stop it while you can. If your DH is that fab then you're lucky. Instead Of messaging another man you could be thinking about how to get the passion back in you're relationship.......