STBX has been openly having an affair for 4 months since caught out on WhatsApp. Has told me of his feelings for ow and throughout the whole thing says he needs to leave to get his head straight but has only ever left for a night. Also throughout had continued to tell me he loves me and misses the us we had for over 20yrs.
In between this he accused me of spoiling his relationship with our son (teenager) - I put that down more to him not coming home as early or often as he used to and being generally preoccupied. Plus I have been trying to support son by doing lots with him and accepting his need to be a bit more clingy.
Now need a handhold please to believe that it's best to end this. I've tried to say we could get help to make it work or at least try but he's now said he couldn't run the risk of losing ow. Why am I finding this so hard. It's awful when he's home and I don't know which person he's going to be but I miss him so much when he's not here.
I feel so much more desperate than I ever thought possible for someone who's quite happy to play me along and blame me for everything when it suits him.