Partner up to no good? Strange activity

[Meowzers55]

Yesterday my partner had to drive a 3 hour trip to get his phone fixed that wasn’t working..

Last night I checked his phone (I’m very paranoid although I know it’s wrong) and he had phoned a strange number. I googled the number and it was a really weird massage place in the city he had to go to. It looks like a massage place that offers extras put it that way. I also checked online banking and he had taken out £90

I confronted him last night and he told me he booked an appointment but never went and it was only for a massage nothing else. This is a man who has never been for a massage in his life. I asked him why he kept the “massage” a secret from me and he couldn’t answer? And he also can’t explain where the £90 now is

He’s totally lying isn’t he? By the way we have 2 DC and have been together 7.5 years

He must be gutted you caught him the first time or....it's not the first time. Either way it's not ever going to go away is this little nugget of information about your DH is it? What a twat! Why do they do this sort of thing? They risk so much.

No I don’t think il ever be able to fully trust him again.. I should have mentioned also that 2 years ago there was a text to a random number saying “when are you next going to be in (city name) x” and when I asked what it was he said the boys from work gave him a number for a massage and that he couldn’t explain why he put a kiss on the end of it and he couldn’t explain why the person doing the massage wouldn’t live in the city all the time?

Unless he did book but then chickened out (a possibility) then yes he definitely had "extras" massage here is £30-40 for an hour typically, would need to be a fancy hotel for it to be much more. You definitely need to talk, but keep it in perspective, it's a cry for help (if he just wants someone else he would not have gone to a different town and paid). I don't know what I would do either but dialogue is key

Oh he has had a happy ending!

No I don’t think il ever be able to fully trust him again.. I should have mentioned also that 2 years ago there was a text to a random number saying “when are you next going to be in (city name) x” and when I asked what it was he said the boys from work gave him a number for a massage and that he couldn’t explain why he put a kiss on the end of it and he couldn’t explain why the person doing the massage wouldn’t live in the city all the time?

Did you google the number? Also more than likely a touring escort, sorry OP but your hubby is up to no good.

I am so, so sorry you are going through this. I'm afraid I agree with others that he is lying.

In the post above, anniehm says, "..dialogue is key"; yes it is, keep the lines of communication open (for now), and try and find out the truth and why. He must know his cover up story is rubbish.

So your husband is now established as a serial user of sex workers OP. What a crock of shit to have to deal with. So sorry.

“It’s a very for help”

I don’t want to put a laughing emoji on such a sad thread.

But fucking hell, what on earth are you on? A fucking cry for help?

No, her husband if a selfish shit who who thinks it’s OK to pay for sex to cheat on the OP. He’s getting all the “help” he needs. It’s no more complicated than that.

But yeah, she could keep the communication lines open so that he can feed her more bullshit about car park fees whilst he realises that next time he’ll need to hide it better

Chuck him out now the deceitful twat. And get an std test.

I’m glad no ones ever questioned me about missing money or what I’ve done with it. It’s his money as well

He's an offensively bad liar. I wouldnt want him anywhere near me for such disrespect - the lying more than the 'massage'!

You do realise turning a blind eye means that you need to get sti tested very regularly? Would you seriously put yourself through that?.
Ltb.

The number he called on Monday, I googled that and it said a massage was £40 for an hour, it was advertised on Gumtree and looked very suspicious. So £50 worth of extras?

I googled the number from 2 years ago and it was an escort. He told me the guys from his work gave him the number to wind him up, being pregnant at the time I just wanted to believe him and tried to forget about it

I’m going to work today and while I’m there I will send him the evidence I have that he’s lying about where the money has gone. I’m not going to go in all guns blazing saying we are over because I need the truth out of him...il tell him that what will drive me out of this relationship more is the lies and not the honest truth... (not really, but I want him to confess)

Well this is about as clear cut a case as it gets on MN.
There's no massage at these "massage parlours", they're brothels pure and simple, and he's been to one.
It's laughable how easy you caught him. Hardly a criminal mastermind is he?
I would think it's far from the first time.
Sorry.

I am so sorry, op.
He is s sex buyer, you have two confirmed pieces of evidence. Please don’t let him minimise.
I made this discovery about my twat of an h about a year ago. Once I had made the discovery I began to discover so much more. Worth looking at phone bills if you can. Also search histories.
I really hope you are ok, I remember the pain of discovery like it was yesterday.

You are wiiiiiiide open to getting bamboozled again. He ain't ever going to tell the truth...that's what the definition of a liar is

Why do these men think us 'wimin' as so fucking thick?
He goes off. Pays for sex. Using family money.
Lies about it. Lies some more and expects you to believe his bullshit.
They all do it.
It's not exclusive to him.
But why do they credit us with so little intelligence?
Makes my skin crawl OP.
I'm not sure how you are coping.
Can you talk to someone in real life?
Get some support around you if you can.
The alarm bells were there years ago and you chose to ignore them.
Ignore them now at your own peril.

he’s annoyed and disappointed I done it on the sly

WTAF?

He's a disgusting pig who was shagging sex workers whilst you were pregnant and hasn't stopped.

Throw him out and get yourself tested for STIs (sorry) You will never trust him again - if you did you would be a fool. He has already had a second chance that many of us would not have given.

Off he fucks.

This is what I would do.

Say you have sent the massage parlour owner a photo of him and spoken to them on the phone and they have confirmed he was there.

Then he can't deny it but he will try to. Men like this always lie even when they are caught out

Such a shame for you!

but it is adultery not to mention he could have caught an std and passed it on to you.

I’m sorry this is happening but I’m also very sorry he cheated on you when you were pg.

That is solid gold arsehole material.

This is two out of many incidents. I hope you know that. He'll have been at it at every opportunity.

Now he'll minimise it (massage my arse) and only tell you what he has to. You want the truth but you won't get it. He's no different to any other cheating liar.

Get a male friend to ring the place and ask what they can do for 90 quid. None of it will include the type of massage that we would get in your average salon

Get rid. Decent men don't do this and there are plenty out there.

Vile man, eurgh

So are you actually implying that you will give this disgusting cheat a second chance?

He definitely is not a criminal mastermind.. however he never knew I had access to our account, he never knew I had online banking he thought it was only on his phone.

The thought of having to phone the doctors to ask for an STI test makes me feel so embarrassed. I looked online as I heard you can get post STI kits but not in my area.

I’m going to try and phone the number just now and see if I get an answer

I'd have his bags by the front door and hand them to him when he gets home without letting him over the doorstep.
Make an appointment with a sexual health clinic to get STI check if you don't wan to go to your GP.
Good Luck