Mil has had heart attack. Dh doesn't know I know

[Jumpsuit566]

Am I wrong for thinking this is beyond fucked up?

Been married 20years. We don't do anything together because dh has largely ignored me for the last 15 years. Haven't done anything like go out together or had a holiday for well over 5 years.

I get on with MIL. He gets on with his mum ok so no excuse there.

Sil rang me and told me yesterday. He doesn't know I know and hasn't mentioned it.

Why on earth are you still married?

Er yes it’s fucked up!
Have you told him you know?

I think the fact that neither of you have spoken about it proves that it’s time to go your seperate ways now.

I haven't told him I know. Am waiting to see if he will say anything. She's in hospital waiting for a stent. I have no idea if he's going to go and see her but as she lives 2 hours away and he's not said anything I'm guessing not.

Why am I still married? God knows. Fear and inertia? Think this maybe the nail in the coffin.

I'm heading out for the day in 5 mins as have plans which obv I would cancel if asked.

Have you got children Jumpsuit? Do you actually not talk to each other. That’s not healthy for anyone. If you don’t love each other then divorce.
We only get one life - this is it.
Start marking plans.

I’d just tell him SIL had called and ask if he’s ok x

How do you know they didn't tell you, as assumed you'd tell your husband?
Tell the poor bloke!!!

Seriously, this sounds a miserable life. Get out of your marriage and you'll find a much happier way of living.

Go and see your Mil, or send your wishes. If you genuinely care about her, it doesn't matter how you found out, do what you can. Your DH is being awful to his mother as well as you xx

How very odd. Now you know, are you not going to see her?

Your MIL has had a heart attack, it isn't time to play top trumps on who mentions it first. If a friend or neighbour had a parent who had a heart attack and you heard you wouldn't w as it for them to call you, you'd ring them/text/pop over. Be the bigger person.

*Wait not whatever printed above

This seems an odd situation for you to choose to play games over. Are you even sure he knows?

Am waiting to see if he will say anything

Now you both sound like you’re being knobs. Just talk to the man.

Am amazed you still call him "D"H, so you must have some kind of feelings towards him. Hope you are going to see her? Relationships with others arent based on who we are married to

Surely you can say something like ‘so sorry to hear about your mum’, why are you waiting for him to tell you, you both sound as bad as each other.

I think the fact you haven't really talked or done anything for 15 years and are living seperate lives is more of an issue than this one thing. Why do you stay?

He definitely knows. Sil said she'd also told him.

Your MIL has had a heart attack, it isn't time to play top trumps on who mentions it first. If a friend or neighbour had a parent who had a heart attack and you heard you wouldn't w as it for them to call you, you'd ring them/text/pop over. Be the bigger person.

This. Your poor MIL. Go and see her instead of using the situation in what seems like an ongoing war with your DH.

Do you generally talk about things, not necessarily big stuff, but just say to say stuff?

Is he deliberately ignoring you as a punishment of sorts?

I’m so sorry- the term soul destroying was coined for this exact scenario.

What do you want to do about this? Magic wand time, what’s you’re ideal resolution to this problem?

I’d also just get yourself up there to see her. Sod him

Ask him if he has any plans for the day

In this circumstance, I would go and visit her - and not tell him you were going.

But if someone is a twat to me, I give the same back.

Oh, and I would also be starting divorce proceedings because you have already wasted too many of your best years with him.