Partner that constantly complains

[MagicFlyingPony]

Does anyone have any tips for living with someone that complains a lot? I want to stay in the relationship as he does have some good points but I don't think I can take the moaning anymore. I spend the evenings after dinner in a different room now as I just can't take the constant negativity.

Yesterday was a particularly bad day...

Had the usual moan about work upon arriving home
Complained about the hard boiled egg I'd made for his lunch, apparently it "tasted like shit" because I'd had trouble peeling it and it still had that funny little membrane that sits under the shell and he is "never eating any of my eggs again".
Then complained most of the way through dinner, the sausages were "tasteless" and "tasted of nothing" (they were Tesco Finest Cumberland Sausages and tasted quite nice to me), he didn't like the taste of the cabbage and it was not pre-cut into small enough strips (he didn't eat most of that).
I think he then realised I was sending him death glares after the fourth or fifth dinner-related complaint so said "thank you for dinner darling" in a sickly sweet voice and did make me a cup of tea after dinner.
Then complained that the kitchen floor is still dirty (it is, but we both live here, we both work, I do more than 50% of the house work and he hadn't cleaned it either).
Complained about feeling cold the whole evening, didn't bother putting a jumper on though.
I had left a box of his clean clothes on the bed for him to put away, he complained it was too late in the evening to put things away so I said fine, do it another day then and moved it to the floor. Then he complained that he will trip over it in the night if it is left there, even though it wasn't really in the way, so I moved it to the foot of the bed. Then he complained that he will trip over it even more there so I put it on the chair in the bedroom which is piled high with his clothes that he has worn once and thinks he might want to wear again. Then he complained that he didn't want his clothes to get squashed/messed up (even though they are in a massive messy pile) so I moved it again.

Any tips for getting the complaining to stop? Not sure how much more I can take...

Sorry that made me laugh, if ever an advert for not getting married this is it 😂 but seriously just tell him you can’t tolerate the constant moaning he might not even realise he’s turned into victor meldrew

Stop doing so much for him. (Is there some reason he couldn't move the minorly inconveniently placed box himself, for instance?) And if he does, don't act on his complaint to 'solve' his problem.

Have you already spoken to him about it? Maybe he doesn't realise what a moaning minny he is. Sometimes, a well-place 'still, mustn't grumble' can work wonders.

Just keep saying "what's wrong Now??" everytime he complains. He will soon get the message.

Yes why did you have to keep moving the box? Let him do it, and tell him everyone he moans, he sounds unbearable.

Sorry, I have no tips. It sounds awful. What are his good points?!

He sounds very lazy. Every time he moans just laugh and put 20p into a swear box. You will have a shed load of cash pretty soon and he can take you out for a meal, which if not perfect he can then have a go at the chef/waiter...not you.

Don't put his clothes away, keep moving them around the house until he puts them away. If he doesn't, after 5 days put them in a black sack and leave outside the front door for him to take as moves out or take to a charity shop.

I know someone i don't see much now who moans/grumps a lot and it gets me down. I couldn't live with it I'm afraid. People who are grumpy and moany don't change from what I've seen.

WTF?! That's not low level grumbling....that's him undermining you and treating you like shit. He can make his own lunches and wash his own clothes....when you LTB he'll have to learn how to anyway.
Run OP....this is just the start of his emotional abuse.

And you've put up with this shit for how long? At the very least i'd have stopped cooking for him. Ungrateful bastard.

Stop doing all the things he moans about. He will soon see what he's done. Call him out on it too. Keep it simple - if you don't like my cooking I won't cook for you any more' 'make your own lunch then' 'if you think you'll trip over it, move it'

Did not know my husband was a bigamist!

Wow, I thought my husband complained a lot.......

OK, so he feeds himself and does his own laundry from now on, if the way you do things isn't good enough. He's acting like a petulant child, only he's an adult and needs to behave like one.

How long have you been married ?

And his good points are ...?

I left mine for this amongst other things. I used the phrase 'Will you stop fucking moaning' more times than you could imagine possible.

Jees I thought my DH was bad at moaning! We had quite a big argument Monday night (about other things) and my point was that most of the bickering we do is about chores etc in the house. Had a conversation last night and I am drawing up a rota of things that are now going to be "his" chores, that way he cant moan about the slightest thing anymore because it will then be his fault. I would not run around after him like you. I would throw his clothes back at him and tell him to move them to his own safe place. If he didn't they would be left on a heap on the floor.

God, how did you not throw the box at him? Just tell him ‘you’re moaning again’ every time he does it. Just cut him off every single time.

My partner and I are currently living with my mum whilst our house is getting renovated (yes, it's JUST as much fun as it sounds!) My mum is 69 and my partner 32 and I swear they are both turning into Victor Meldrew (excellent comparison there @adora10)

I've taken to just calling them Nancy each time they complain (Negative Nancy) and it doesn't reduce how much they complain, but it does make their complaints much shorter. Either that or just really pointedly giving the obvious solution. Most of the time they don't have an actual complaint that is affecting their lives, they just really love complaining so they soon shut up when given a solution because they can't argue with that!

Are you his wife or his mother?? Why were you moving the box several times? I would have popped it on the floor and when he moaned suggested that he put it somewhere he feels is best. Does he ever make dinner or clean? I bet he'd complain less if he had done the task rather than criticising what you've done. If he says he doesn't like it I would consider it as if he had a deadly food allergy and never cook or buy that food again. Then start to subtly complain that your diets are getting really boring because of everything he doesn't like.

You are being an absolute doormat. Do not do a single thing for him and then he can do it how he wants - ungrateful wanker.

Tell him to make his own bloody lunch for a start.

Tell him to make dinner if he hates your cooking so much.

URGH. You say you want to continue the relationship - I'm really struggling to work out why!!!

Lol is he 9? That so ridiculous, why are you with him?

Yep, he makes his own lunch, makes his own dinner, and does his own laundry. And then he can take all of them and shove them up his arse. Seriously, why do you put up with this crap?

Tell him he is turning into his df and you certainly ain't sexually attracted to him!!
I told my dh this.

He improved.
Vastly.

"I had left a box of his clean clothes on the bed for him to put away, he complained it was too late in the evening to put things away so I said fine, do it another day then."

Thats all that needed to happen - the box goes on his side and he can move it to wherever he likes.