Partner that constantly complains

[MagicFlyingPony]

Does anyone have any tips for living with someone that complains a lot? I want to stay in the relationship as he does have some good points but I don't think I can take the moaning anymore. I spend the evenings after dinner in a different room now as I just can't take the constant negativity.

Yesterday was a particularly bad day...

Had the usual moan about work upon arriving home
Complained about the hard boiled egg I'd made for his lunch, apparently it "tasted like shit" because I'd had trouble peeling it and it still had that funny little membrane that sits under the shell and he is "never eating any of my eggs again".
Then complained most of the way through dinner, the sausages were "tasteless" and "tasted of nothing" (they were Tesco Finest Cumberland Sausages and tasted quite nice to me), he didn't like the taste of the cabbage and it was not pre-cut into small enough strips (he didn't eat most of that).
I think he then realised I was sending him death glares after the fourth or fifth dinner-related complaint so said "thank you for dinner darling" in a sickly sweet voice and did make me a cup of tea after dinner.
Then complained that the kitchen floor is still dirty (it is, but we both live here, we both work, I do more than 50% of the house work and he hadn't cleaned it either).
Complained about feeling cold the whole evening, didn't bother putting a jumper on though.
I had left a box of his clean clothes on the bed for him to put away, he complained it was too late in the evening to put things away so I said fine, do it another day then and moved it to the floor. Then he complained that he will trip over it in the night if it is left there, even though it wasn't really in the way, so I moved it to the foot of the bed. Then he complained that he will trip over it even more there so I put it on the chair in the bedroom which is piled high with his clothes that he has worn once and thinks he might want to wear again. Then he complained that he didn't want his clothes to get squashed/messed up (even though they are in a massive messy pile) so I moved it again.

Any tips for getting the complaining to stop? Not sure how much more I can take...

I couldn't stand it. Wouldn't stand it.

Good grief, his good points must be pretty damn amazing to outweigh his miserable ungrateful selfish boring lazy whiney moaning crap. Enlighten us.

I am guessing he is absolutely amazing in the sack OP?

Jesus. That's horrific. Not normal. Why are you with him?

Wtf! General complaining is one thing but that still needs addressing.

But what you're describing is him CONSTANTLY nit picking at things he considers your job but are actually part and parcel of adult life and you BOTH should be doing them!

Don't like the boiled egg - make your bloody own then!

Don't like the dinner - ditto!

Floor dirty? - bloody clean it yourself then if it bothers you that much!

Clothes in the way? - YOU put them somewhere out of both our way then they're YOUR clothes! In fact do your own sodding laundry!

Seriously why do you want to be with him? What IS he good for? Precious little by looks of things!

I'm with Adora - this is a bloody good ad for staying single!

I think a moan box (and a non-moany star chart?) would possibly be good ideas but honestly I'd be putting a rocket under him and telling him to

A cut out the crappy constant moaning/digs at you

B to start bloody well pulling his weight at home!

It's actually constant, low level verbal abuse it's like sodding water torture!

I'm a real grump/pessimist, he makes me look like a ray of sunshine

If my husband had complained about my food like that he'd have ended up wearing it!

Show him this thread. I wonder if he's got into a negativity habit and doesn't even realise that every time he opens his mouth you want to punch him in it.

She should complain he's not doing it right!

The first and last time my DH complained about his meal I threw it in the bin.

I think the OP has met and married my ex husband. His constant nitpicking, moaning and criticism was one of the main reasons I left him.

I don't get why he couldn't move the box? That's the oddest thing..
Also he sounds really ungrateful. I'd either leave him or tell him straight he's being ungrateful and to make his own damn meals!

Blimey, I’d have had that box of clothes out of the window halfway through that conversation. You must have the patience of a saint!

What a brat. Stop catering to his ridiculous needs.

You won't hear the moaning once he's moved out.

So that’s where my husband is every evening!

I'd have drop kicked his clothes onto the landing, if that didn't work, tell him you're very sorry they're in his way and throw them out of the window.

You peel his eggs!?!?!?

Tell him to stop moaning and stop responding to his moans with an affirming action.
If he moans about stuff like his clothes tell him to deal with it himself.
If he moans about dinner, say ‘perhaps you can sort dinner for us tomorrow?’
Moaning about the floor? Why doesn’t he clean it?
Just call him out every time and put it back to him.
How boring and tedious for you.

I spend the evenings after dinner in a different room now as I just can't take the constant negativity
So even his 'good' points don't cancel this out!

He's showing you who he really is - rude, ungrateful, lazy, entitled and a petulant man-child.
Stop acting the mummy-figure he's training you into.

Find some self respect and ditch him.
I don't know how you even have sex with him knowing how little he respects or values you.

I didn’t like the eggs you made me for lunch- fine you can make your own tomorrow
I don’t like the sausages- ok, you do the next food shop and choose the meat you want
I don’t want the box there- we’ll move it to a better place
Floor is dirty- let me show you where the mop is kept

Why do you pander to him

Its emotional abuse.. its not funny. You must like living in dysfunctional relationship secretly or are desperate to be not lonely. I dunno. Wish I'd had the courage to leave when this happened to me.

He's not just grumpy and whinging - he is specifically criticising you. All his negative comments are aimed at things you did or didn't do - his lunch, the dinner, the floor, the box of clothes. My husband is a miserable whinger sometimes and it's very annoying but he complains generally about things that annoy him, it's directed at me or my failings.

Why are you with him? Does he have any good points?

Maybe give him a taste of his own medicine. Nitpick at things he does and find fault with everything. Why does he get to be the arbiter of what is wrong or right in the home?

*it's NOT directed at me... that should say

Haha oh OP this made me chuckle... I have similar, I always reply extra upbeat ‘oh I think these sausages are delicious!’ Or re the clothes, ‘oh that’s fine put them where you like until you have chance’ the the floor ‘it needs a good clean, maybe WE will have chance at the weekend’ makes him more annoyed and I have a chuckle to myself...

Why are you with him still? He sounds soul destroying.