How do you deal with a passive aggressive spouse?

[ThatOneHurt]

He only does it about once a year but it fucking enrages me.

Today he is doing it.

Long story short. DH walks into the flat with his shoes on. This really fucks me off. I hate shoes on in the house and he's marked the carpet this way before. The flat is originally mine (rented) so the desposit is in my name so damage will affect how much I get back.

He has he shoes on today. I pointed it out. He shouted at me that he pays the rent now so he can do what he likes. Hours later, he still has them on.

WRT him paying all the rent now.
Yup he does.

He inherited a house, he decided to rent it out (I said we should sell it) which means we arent entitled to tax credits and I'm no longer entitled to any NHS bursary which I used to live on.
I now have zero money apart from the peanuts I earn through part time work inbetween juggling a degree and our two kids.

So through stupid decisions that I was against his doing, he is now is the soul earner and has to pay all the rent and bills. My income (about £200 a month) just about covers my own bills, car tax etc.

So apparently now he can wear his shoes in the house, walk crap everywhere, because
"I PAY THE RENT AND I CAN WEAR MY SHOES IN HERE IF I WANT"

And fuck my deposit.

He does stupid passive aggressive crap like this.
One time he stuck my washing puff thing on the other side of the bathroom at by the ceiling as far away from the shower as possible. The reason? Because I used to stick it on the wrong tile and it used to drip on him.

I hate passive aggressiveness. It's pathetic and it makes me angry. I don't want to get angry because that's him winning.
How do I deal with it?

OP you do not need to justify yourself to anyone here! The only people that matter are you and your loved ones. Anyone who throws accusations at someone for potentially not being genuine is pretty pathetic. Don't believe what you're reading? Then simply move on. Or give some fair and constructive advice that may help someone else!

You're doing really well and tackling something that many people would just live with. From your posts you sound reasonable, intelligent and able to self reflect on your actions as well as those of others.
I completely agree with you regarding your older son, he doesn't need help!
He reacted badly, we all do it! And he has hopefully learned some boundaries from it. Please look after you, the little person you're growing is very important but you're no good to anyone if you're unwell.

Regarding your husband, at this stage try and not expect anything. It's all very fresh and you both need time to think and assess.
You will get through this
You will find a solution that works (individually or collectively)
You will be stronger.

And I can never, ever understand how ANYONE can wear outside shoes indoors, it's disgusting, unhygienic and not at all respecting of your own personal space or someone else's.

And please declare yourself as a single parent to tax credits as soon as possible and make a single parent claim for child benefit. It will give you some breathing space while you collect your thoughts and carry on doing everything else that Mum of 4 has to do.

I have access to the joint account.
There's money in there, he won't leave us in the lurch moneywise.
I know he sounds terrible on here but he actually isn't in every other aspect it's just this house thing that's the issue.

It's been nearly 20 years and he would never take money/food from me and his children, so I don't have to worry about that.

Thanks for the support I really appreciate it.

Re-the troll thing I shouldn't have let it get to me, I'm being an emo and hormono (new word). My threads always seem to end up on there!
It's actually a good site to figure out if you're being duped by a troll or not.
But in this case, unfortunately for me, it's very real.