Parents loan & Boyfriend

[Charlottesshoezzzz]

Looking for other people's perspective on my current situation so that I can see from other people's perspective if parents demands are unreasonable/reasonable.
Parents loaned me £5000 for deposit to buy house. Current partner of 6 months stays over a few nights a week ( 3 nights max ) Relationship is progressing & we are very happy together, there is talk of marriage & babies in the future.
Parents are demanding said boyfriend pays them the £5000 I owe seeing as though he is now sleeping here & benefiting from 'the house' they helped me buy by sleeping over & spending time here with me.
Have told parents I will pay them the £5000 when I sell the house as unfortunately the house isn't really big enough for the 2 of us to live here long term & we do plan to be together long term.
Parents are going NC with me after I have reached out & told them they will get the £5000 once I decide to sell ( which will probably be in the next year or 2 ) of course once we've been together longer as it's too soon to be doing anything major just yet.
By the time I decide to sell the house I feel that too much time has passed & I won't be able to forgive them for being what I feel is so unfair about this. I've met his family etc but he hasn't met mine due to them ignoring me until he coughs up the £5000.
I'm so embarrassed over it all & I've told him all of this.... he says he would pay them the £5000 to get them off my back & if that's what they want but I think it's all a little OTT & if he ever decided to move in here maybe that's when they would have a point in demanding such monies???
Also as not to drip feed... parents weren't demanding the £5000 from me before I met him, they have only started requesting it since he has been on the scene - I was paying it back in small instalments here & there.
Boyfriend treats me to meals out, mini breaks, leaves me money to treat myself etc... he has his own money & is by no means a sponger, parents won't hear any of this as they are ignoring me & they have no idea how well he treats me & cares for me.

Thoughts please.......looking for an outsider perspective on whether they are being unreasonable......

God what a mess. Pay it back yourself. Set up a monthly direct debit.
Keep him out of it and keep a distance from your parents.

What was the agreement when they lent it you?

Parents are aware that this isn't just some weekend fling. Will take me years to pay them back by monthly instalments ( which is what was agreed at the time of borrowing ) They are totally ignoring me now until either he or I come up with the full amount. Like I said they had no issue with the instalments until he came on the scene.

Can you pay it back monthly so they can see that you're making an effort to pay the loan back. I borrowed £15,000 from my parents a few years ago to buy out ExH, and pay them £265pm over 5 years. £5000 is a huge amount of money, they probably can't afford to wait a year or two for it.

Basically they are convinced that he is planning to move in here & screw me over by taking half of the house legally .... so they want their £££ back now so so they won't loose out when & if that happens. I'm fully aware to try to protect myself from this by not allowing him to pay any bills.

What was your original agreement to pay it back? You say you've been doing it in 'dribs and drabs', does this mean there was no agreement? I'd suggest you pay them a fixed amount each month then at least it shows you're behaving like an adult (unlike your parents!) Or if you have the full amount, just pay them back (or get a loan to pay them). Sadly this is the downside of borrowing money from family as it does tend to mean they try to tell you what to do.

Do your parents not like your boyfriend? (let's face it, he's not your DP after 6 months, he's your boyfriend) There must be a reason why they've taken this attitude towards him. Hand on heart, do you think they're seeing something in him that you don't see? Is their behaviour out of character? Are they usually pretty reasonable?

At first glance, they are being unreasonable, but I wonder if there's more to it.

Might they desperately need the money for something but feel unable to share this info with you?

Have they always been weird about the money?

Do they dislike your boyfriend?

@KanielOutis they were prepared to wait for it as agreed until he came on to the scene.

@HundredMilesAnHour my siblings have met him & have nothing but good things to say about him. Parents have form for being dramatic & OTT.

They can't demand that your BF pays them the 5k, that's ridiculous! They sound controlling tbh. We lent DD3 a sum of money to get her on the property ladder and would never dream of telling her who she could have in HER house or demand the loan be repaid by her boyfriend. Set up a direct debit as a PP suggested. I never understand parents who can't let their children live their lives without interfering.

looking for an outsider perspective on whether they are being unreasonable

Yes they ABU. Very odd that they want him to pay back your loan because they don’t want him taking you for a ride should he and you split up

How strange

Even if he did pull a fast one and con you out of money etc - as long as they still get there £5000, financially it makes no difference to them

What does it matter whether you or him pay them back? Why must it be him? Money is money.

It all sounds very dramatic.
As long as they get their money back I don’t see a problem with your partner living there. Personally I think you need to pay them back a set amount each month

To shut them up I would get a cheap personal loan and just pay them if you can.

It all seems very over dramatic on their part.

Well, unless your BF is a horrible person with a whole array of red flags waving around him your parebsv are being massively unreasonable.

Have they met him? Do they like him? Does he have a job with prospects and is he solvent?

Whether or not he gives your DP the £5k, I'd guess the relationship between you (and him) is hugely damaged.
I agree with previous posters that the best solution is to set up a DD for a monthly amount and then leave the ball in their court.

This is seriously weird. Have they said exactly why they want him to pay them when the loan had nothing to do with him?

@Gazelda relationship between me & BF isn't damaged, I've told him about it, he has confirmed that it won't change anything between us.

If they are only worried about loosing their money if he chooses to screw you over, could you get something drafted up that he can sign that basically states he has no claim to your home.
As you both see that not happening anyway and you plan to move in a year or two it shouldn't be a problem.

Interesting you swerved all of my questions op

@Maelstrop they want him to pay as they are presuming that he will be out to screw me over by taking half of house /and/ or because he is now recouping the benefits of being in the house they helped to fund.

I'm looking at taking out any loan I can find even though it will put me in a worse position financially just to get them off my back ( I'm guessing repayments & interest will be higher than what I pay parents)

Im so embarrassed, I've had to explain to him why he won't be meeting my parents & why I probably won't be having any sort of a relationship with them in the near future.

Even if I pay them off I fear the damage has been done & I won't be able to be normal with them like before.

And if this was vice Versa I wouldn't want much to do with his parents if it was them treating me this way.

He has been so kind to me, he paid off a couple of thousand pound credit debt I had as it was worrying me paying it off - this was a gift of cash btw. He has his own money & savings & has a good job with a stable future so I know it's not my assets he's after as I don't have any 

OP already said parents won’t meet him because they are ignoring her. And that he has his own money

How very very weird. There must be more to this story! This isn’t normal behaviour. You must have misheard them. Why would anybody expect some stranger to pay back a loan that has nothing to do with him! He received no benefit from the money and he isn’t contracted to pay it back.

@Atalune BF has been grilled by several siblings lol & they really like him.

Parents have not met him, he is not a horrible person, he's very kind, has good manners & morals & is generally the kind of guy every mother would want their daughter to bring home. He has had a good upbringing & has a stable job & future.

We are both in our 30's btw. Both never been married & no kids.

Sorry op! Just seen your update.

Your parents are nuts.

Take out a loan, pay them!

To be honest OP, if your parents have never even met him, why haven't you just dealt with them yourself rather than dragging him into it? He must feel pretty bad and that seems unnecessary. Your parents are being unreasonable although it's probably from some misguided place where they are trying to protect you. If your BF has no actual contact with them prior to this, you could have just left him out of it and told your parents to get stuffed / paid them back yourself. It seems like he's been sucked into drama when he didn't really need to be. Perhaps you've also inherited your parents' tendency for drama?