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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Help with DH's 'hangxiety'

106 replies

EmmaWB · 31/10/2018 13:23

My DH has been on a lads weekend and as you would expect got very drunk. He left the group to stumble back to the hotel but has had a memory lapse. Whilst I am 100% confident nothing happened, his anxiety is making him think all sorts of bad things could have happened. I'm talking being spiked, mugged, having an affair. I think it is just his fear of not knowing, but he wants to get a sexual health check. He woke up in his clothes and has nothing to suggest he had been up to no good. Not sure how to feel about this. Anyone out there have any advice or been in a similar position?

OP posts:
diamondsandrose · 31/10/2018 22:22

Don't think OP is coming back

Aquamarine1029 · 31/10/2018 22:37

I think the op has been knocked for six. I imagine that her being 100% certain nothing nefarious happened has been supremely challenged, and frankly, as it should be. Her husband has been up to no good. All of us with years of hard-earned wisdom know this.

Original poster
EmmaWB · 31/10/2018 22:59

Afraid all the suspicions were right. Feel sick 😪 thanks for the honesty as after about comment 30 I realised what a treat i was 😪😪😪

OP posts:
SchnitzelVonKrumm · 31/10/2018 23:03

ONS or prostitute? He didn't reckon with Mumsnet obviously.

geologyrocks · 31/10/2018 23:04

What happened? Sorry you are going through this op

Likeshyt · 31/10/2018 23:08

What a fucking bastard.

Original poster
EmmaWB · 31/10/2018 23:14

Hand job from a prostitute 😪😪😪

OP posts:
Cuckooclocks · 31/10/2018 23:15

That’s The Fear in full force!

Cuckooclocks · 31/10/2018 23:18

Oh dear OP, sorry

Aquamarine1029 · 31/10/2018 23:18

Oh, op. I'm so sorry. What a devastating shock.

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 31/10/2018 23:19

Oh that's grim. Sorry OP.

Aquamarine1029 · 31/10/2018 23:20

As sorry as I am to say this, I doubt a "hand job" is the true story. His lies and betrayals continue.

Original poster
EmmaWB · 31/10/2018 23:20

Thanks. Feel like such an idiot!

OP posts:
piglettears · 31/10/2018 23:23

So sorry op.  you're not the idiot here, I can assure you.

I might be being a bit stupid but why would you need an Sti check for a hand job?

Please get yourself checked out ASAP, something doesn't add up here.

Have you got any support in real life?

SnappedandFartedagain · 31/10/2018 23:25

He’s still lying OP - he wouldn’t need an STI check for a hand job. Really sorry.

BitOutOfPractice · 31/10/2018 23:26

Oh op I'm sorry. I don't believe it was just a hand job either. He's part way through the script. He's done denial. And minimisation. There'll be more to come, sorry

Holdingonbarely · 31/10/2018 23:27

No you wouldnt need a check up for a hand job
You wouldn’t even think about it. You might want to fess up. But you wouldn’t go into full meltdown .

geologyrocks · 31/10/2018 23:30

Even of it was "only" a hand job from a prostitute that was a concious decision. Pissed or not.

How did he suddenly remember

Likeshyt · 31/10/2018 23:31

Revolting 🤢 keep prying op... an STI rest required after a hand job... sounds suspicious again!

IdblowJonSnow · 31/10/2018 23:32

Not wishing to add any further upset to op but have to agree a hand job wouldn't require a Sti test. Op is there anyone you can turn to in real life? What a shit bag and total idiot he is. Hope you're ok. Brew

Original poster
EmmaWB · 31/10/2018 23:40

I'll keep digging, kind of just feel horrible. How do you speak to family or friends about this, I'm too embarrassed!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 31/10/2018 23:44

Don't worry about your friends and family. Quite frankly, their opinions just don't matter. You have done nothing wrong. YOU are the victim in all of this. What you are dealing with is horrific and a massive shock. Kick the lying bastard out so you can breathe. You owe him nothing.

earlybirdhasanap · 31/10/2018 23:47

Its not you who should feel embarrassed. You've done nothing wrong. Get all the support you need.

TheWiseWomansFear · 31/10/2018 23:47

I've had THE FEAR often, it's awful... questioning everything you might have said, how did you get home etc

Poor DP

PoppyField · 31/10/2018 23:47

Don’t be embarrassed. Any shame about this belongs to HIM not you. You have done nothing wrong.

If you need to confide in someone you trust, then you should feel free to do so. He is the one who has betrayed you and hurt you. Find support from people who care about you. He Hans proved that your loyalty would be misplaced here.