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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Physical and emotional abuse destroying me

81 replies

28forever · 29/10/2018 20:17

Really need to vent/ chat my dp is a horrible human being but I just can't seem to just end it for good.
Last weekend admittedly I had to much to drink.and over reacted when some knob in pub made a stupid comment and my partner didn't stick.up for me.but we got home and he got my hair and smashed my head into.steering wheel, dragged me from car by my hair then dragged me around kicked and stamped on me .
His gut reaction is to pull my hair and hit me at every argument. He then completely blames me the next day ! I'm apparently insecure !!
He then ends our relationship because he's sick of my shit ??? Wtf!!!
He never once said sorry.
He is just an absolute bastard and i hate his guts.
Today he was shouting my name and telling me he was going to drive me to my work to tell them he doesnt want me anymore ! He speaks to me like shit , he has spent all day telling me " fuck off dickhead "
If i ring its wtf do you want?
I'm.not perfect but he blames all his issues on me.
He has just told me to " GO get help for who you are"
I'm.just so low. Why can't I just walk away.

OP posts:
Sammysees · 29/10/2018 20:22

I don’t know but you really need to! Do you have kids? This is shocking behaviour from him. Where will it end? Hospital? Worse? I am frightened for your safety quite frankly. You need to leave. Now! Do you have family/friends who you can confide in/stay with?

Original poster
28forever · 29/10/2018 20:23

I mean this morning he behaved like an absolute wanker. Rang me 4 times to " be clear " that I understood that he didn't want me anymore. Not to go to his house or contact him again or he was getting a restraining order and was ringing my manager to tell them to tell me to keep away from him. ( just another way to humiliate me) .
Within 2 hours HE RANG ME to say what time was I going round????
How do you deal with that!!!!

OP posts:
gmagnt · 29/10/2018 20:25

go.

but hugs/this is really hard and easier to say go, than actually do it.

Original poster
28forever · 29/10/2018 20:26

No we don't have kids.
He just has this hold on me. He blames me for absolutly everything .I'm not bloody perfect but I'm not who he makes me out to be. I don't have any friends left and i WAS the least insecure person ever.

OP posts:
Standinguptononsense · 29/10/2018 20:26

Call the police. He has assulted you. More than once. This is domestic abuse. Call women's aid. They will. Support you.

You deserve better than him. He is a worthless piece of shit.

Frankswife87 · 29/10/2018 20:27

Police police now!

Standinguptononsense · 29/10/2018 20:27

Do you have separate living arrangements?

Bananalanacake · 29/10/2018 20:29

Did you tell him you are not going round like he told you in the morning. Sounds like you don't live with him so that is good. You deserve better.

Parker231 · 29/10/2018 20:29

Ring the police ASAP and press charges. You are risking serious life threatening injuries. Block his number on your phone and social media.

Angelcd · 29/10/2018 20:30

Leave him before anything worse happens x

Studentnurse1981 · 29/10/2018 20:31

You seriously need to get far away from this bike creature. Call the police asap

Original poster
28forever · 29/10/2018 20:37

No we don't live together ( thank God)
We normally spend every night together tho. Half at mine , half at his.
I havnt gone round tonight ( obs) I am just so SICK of been spoken to like shit .He genuinley says it's all me etc etc .
I was crying my EYES out a couple hours ago and he said " it's simple, you need to get get help with who you are" 😥😥😥

OP posts:
Parker231 · 29/10/2018 20:38

Have you called the police?

stubbornstains · 29/10/2018 20:40

Practically, all you need to do to be free of this man is just to never go round again. Block his number, and that could well be it.

Emotionally....well, that's a completely different kettle of fish, isn't it? Why do you think that you're worth so little that it's OK to be in a relationship with a man who beats you up?

What he does is not normal or OK. This level of physical abuse is profoundly shocking. It may well escalate. Men like this can kill their partners.

This is the Women's Aid/ national domestic violence helpline :0808 2000 247. Please call it, they will offer real life support to help you to get away, stay away, and rebuild your shattered self esteem Thanks

Original poster
28forever · 29/10/2018 20:40

No. I know I should but I just can't bring myself to do it
.

OP posts:
Thebluedog · 29/10/2018 20:40

Phone the police and report the violence

Standinguptononsense · 29/10/2018 20:40

If you don't live together then...

  1. Block his number.
  2. Block him on social media.
  3. Ignore any attempt to contact you.
  4. Change the locks if he has a key.
  5. He hurts you or threatens you again. You call the police. Every single time.

You are better than this. Start rebuilding your life. You owe him nothing.

Bananalanacake · 29/10/2018 20:43

Play him at his own game and say you have got help and your helper says not to contact him again. Can you get your keys back.

Original poster
28forever · 29/10/2018 20:47

I just feel destroyed. Mentally not physically.

The more of a bastard he is the more needy I seem to get. And that really isnt my personality, I was the least insecure person/ needy ever.
It's him that's needy , I'm not " allowed" to go anywhere without him.
My friend invited me for her birthday brunch in a few weeks , and he's creating a fuss . Apparently only slags want to go into town ( it's a fucking brunch ! 12 till 3 !!)
Starting to have battle of wills as I woukd like to go on my Xmas meal with work ! He makes everything hell but I just seem to give in and can't walk away for good . I would have despised " me" 4 years ago. Giving in to a bloody man

OP posts:
Standinguptononsense · 29/10/2018 20:50

So what's really stopping you?

twomadefour · 29/10/2018 20:50

Please block him from your phone to stop him calling you.
He uses you as an item to keep himself feeling like he is top dog.

Please , please get away from him. You are too good to be treated like this


serialtester · 29/10/2018 20:51

You're not "giving into a man" you're trapped in a cycle of abuse. Call women's aid or look on their website. Do it tonight.

Beechview · 29/10/2018 20:53

He is a vile human being. Please leave him.
This is the only life you’re going to get. Don’t waste any more time with someone who despises and abuses you.

DonkeyPunch88 · 29/10/2018 20:54

Please please leave. Block all his contact via phones and social media. He will eventually kill you xxx

PersonaNonGarter · 29/10/2018 20:55

Do your friends know? Do his friends know?

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