Could someone help me unpack why I'm so unlikable?

[nonotes]

I have some idea, but I'm not 100% sure why I turn people off. Maybe someone could help me work it out!

OP - I'm a slow-burner when it comes to friendships - but once you've won me over (and vice-versa! 😁) You're stuck with me.

I am not comfortable flinging my emotions into the fray and will wait until I've sized you up first. I protect my own MH at all costs so any signs of someone being somewhat off (cruel/spitefull etc) and I'm gone.

I met my best friend when I turned 40. She too is a slow-burner although much better at me in terms of superficial relationships - but opens up to few. Anyway I'm glad I didn't meet her when we were new mums - god how dull those conversations can be! I know she had all her DC by CS but I can't recall more (dull) details. We were both pissed when we discussed it!

Fwiw I'm totally fine with having a very small handful of good friends - it's just the way I operate. But it's taken me a long time to accept this is just the way I am and I spent a long time trying to be otherwise.