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Noooooooooooooo! Caught DP rubbing one out and it’s freaked me

119 replies

babygoose48 · 12/10/2018 00:07

First time it’s happened in the 4 and half years.

Came home from parents evening tonight and all the lights were on but the door was locked. Went inside, called out to DP... nothing. Grabbed a pile of clean clothes from the kitchen and I heard he was upstairs with a video playing reallllyyyy loudly.

Went up with pile of washing. Noise was coming from bathroom. Shouted out ‘Heyyy!’ Turned corner to bathroom, door was wide open...

DP standing there, audibly watching porn on his phone and rubbing one out.

I was just stood there gawping with this pile of bloody clothes, and then I noticed that he was that far in to it he didn’t even realise I was standing there beside him so I scarpered in to the bedroom.

I sat there for ten minutes panicking and folding these clothes whilst he finished.

I mean, I know he wanks and I know he watches porn as we’ve both told each other we do, but I’ve never caught him in the act and it’s really freaked me out, I’ve never seen him like that before!

Felt dead weird all night, especially when he came to the bedroom and realised I must have walked past at some point and we had a quick chat but I think I’m still in shock.

Please someone make me feel better I don’t know whether to laugh or cry Confused

OP posts:
LanguidLobster · 13/10/2018 14:39

Rubbing one out is one of the worst phrases I've ever heard.

OK, hope OP has spoken to her partner.

ElectricMonkey · 13/10/2018 15:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sethis · 13/10/2018 15:34

@ElectricMonkey

That's a bit of a weird one to focus on, but okay. Do you do it yourself? Have you done it in the past?

If not, you have no experience of it either.

Regardless of each of our own experience levels, then your assumption that it's always a negative experience is just as invalid as my assumption that it sometimes be a positive experience.

In fact the laws of probability are on my side rather than yours, because I only need 1% of people who've uploaded their own porn to be in a happy relationship for my point to stand. You need 100% of all people who uploaded videos to be unhappy or abused. Statistically I'm on safer ground than you are.

Are you able to distinguish between someone expressing an opinion and/or playing advocate for opinions not their own versus someone telling everyone what they should think? Because your tone seems to shut down debate, whereas I'm doing my best to create and sustain debate, so if either of us are guilty of authoritarianism on the subject of freedom of thought it would seem to be yourself.

ElectricMonkey · 13/10/2018 15:38

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dirtybadger · 13/10/2018 15:42

Not sure OP's intention was for a debate on the ethics on pornography.

babygoose48 · 13/10/2018 16:20

Just caught up and read these responses inc. the debate.

All this over one wank... if only he knew 😂

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 13/10/2018 17:09

Kenny thanks for the update. I do get that. But when people start threads on MN they don't know where they will go. Mention porn and it tends to go all over the place!

Italiangreyhound · 13/10/2018 17:54

Sethis
I guess my point was that all work is unnatural, period, and for probably billions of people, unenjoyable. Given that this is the case, why are we more consciously upset about the ethicality of pornography as an industry versus something like the electronic device or textile industries?"

Work is not unnatural to humans. It is an extension of hunting and gathering which was how we fed ourselves in the past.

Italiangreyhound · 13/10/2018 17:55

Sethis For most womem, conversely to most men, much of 'sex' happens inside women's actual bodies. What we 'allow' inside our bodies is very different to what we 'do' externally to or with our bodies.

Many heterosexual males may not understand this.

Work happens externally to our bodies normally. It's one of many factors (along with risk, danger, etc) which are different about sex in general, especially for females, as opposed to all other activities IMHO.

" ... damage, and on wider scales (strip mining, extinction events, child labour), than Porn"

I am not sure how you can quantify all of this but for the record people against porn may well be against damage to the planet and abuse of people generally. For the record I am - so, so far a sample of one!!!

If you want to start a thread about McDonald's I will up join it.

Italiangreyhound · 13/10/2018 18:05

Sethis "What is it about porn as an industry that makes it such a magnet for ... 'criticism?"

If women are performing ethically the end result may still be young men thinking their young female partners should enjoy any kind of sex since the women they see in porn might appear to 'love' being throttled, penetrated anally, called a whore or whatever else might be happening in porn.

"Not only that, but why do we label the end user of porn as a "creep" or "disgusting" for accessing the material, yet we don't label people wearing GAP clothing as "slavers" or "colonialists"?"

Not sure u labelled anyone buy I do think it is creepy.

None of this means wearing clothes that are unethically produced are ok.

So are you campaigning for ethical clothing, or just debating ethical porn?

"But that's a moral double standard, isn't it? You're asking me to treat you as being a better person than another person, based on your sexual preferences."

At what point did I ask you to treat me in any way at all? I think people who use porn are considerably less ethical than people who do use porn. You don't agree! Surprise, surprise!

"Yet when someone else says that another person is better than you based on their sexual preference, you claim they're being unfair." I genuinely don't know what this refers to.

Sethis "A, B and C. Now you know that is not porn. If A, B and C are doing this in their own home and it's all consensual and C doesn't get the idea all womem are sluts or up for it. It's there own business.

To me it's still sad. Sad that A and B can 't enjoy sex without being watched and sad C doesn't have a partner to share life and sex with (and if C does, what are they doing while this goes on?)

But anyway it's not real, it's another hypotheroxal scenario unrelated to real life.

"If A and B then also decide, of their own free will, through mutual consent, to sell a video of their session with C..." oh do stop, it's tedious in the extreme.

"I'm aware that the above example is not indicative of the porn industry as a whole. " Thank God for that.

Porn is harmful as of itself, however it is made, it blights people's lives and spoils their sex lives with unrealistic and even dangerous potential obsessions. Did you even bother to read the link I posted?

Clothes, food, etc can be produced ethically or not. But however it is produced I believe vicariously spying on others' sex lives is unhealthy.

It's that simple for me. I may well be in the minority. I don't give a flying fuck!

Anyway, I will stop thinking the OP's thread! Why don't you start a thread on porn Sethis and we can talk some more.

Italiangreyhound · 13/10/2018 18:06

considerably less ethical than people who do not use porn.

Forflipssake2 · 13/10/2018 18:21

Parents evening on a Friday 🤔Hmm

ElectricMonkey · 13/10/2018 20:51

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MrsN022015 · 13/10/2018 20:57

Just laugh it off, if the shoe was on the other foot how would he react? We are currently sleeping on campbeds next to each other (long story) husband thinks I am asleep so starts knocking 1 off, I wake up and ask if he is doing that weird scratchy thing he does or if he is having a wank?! Lol

Fiffyshadesofgreymatter · 13/10/2018 21:03

@ElectricMonkey

We had parents night on Thursday. And our first term has just finished; October break this week and back for term 2 the week after. I'm in Scotland.

Earlywalker · 13/10/2018 21:11

I would’ve laughed tbh. If you have no problem with the use of porn then there’s no issue really.

Although this thread has made me laugh. Mumsnet has opened my eyes to a whole new world of people the last week or so.

My personal favourite was the comment that only teenagers wank Grin

ElectricMonkey · 13/10/2018 21:19

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Forflipssake2 · 13/10/2018 21:32

@electricmonkey not early in the term but I’ve never heard of one on a Friday

babygoose48 · 14/10/2018 01:45

I posted this just after midnight on friday morning... parents evening was Thursday a few hours before. Strange what people point out lol

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