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Original poster

Working with bitchy females!

104 replies

bluecheddarcheese · 09/10/2018 11:18

Currently have a bully at work who is driving me nuts. Do you think it's generally harder working with females and why does it upset me so much when actually I'm a really strong character?

Please tell me your stories. Need to feel better :(

OP posts:
MacNcheese87 · 09/10/2018 11:22

I had this in my first job. I was only 18 at the time and a nasty girl a few years older would make horrible comments about me without any reason. One time I walked into the staff room and she was talking to the other staff there about me. 'But why would they want MacNCheese? She's not pretty!'

I'm sad to say I left that job and I've always regretted it. In hindsight, I wish I'd had the balls to tell her where to go.

Stay strong. Don't let them think they're getting to you, they'll move on if they don't get a reaction.

CountessVonBoobs · 09/10/2018 11:23

Do you think it's generally harder working with females?

Of what species?

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 09/10/2018 11:26

You go first.

Also, bitchy females? Really? Would you care to rephrase this, please?

FairNotFair · 09/10/2018 11:30

I've worked with some fairly unpleasant people of both sexes. Their personalities were the problem, not their chromosomes.

Original poster
bluecheddarcheese · 09/10/2018 11:34

I agree that both men and women can be a pain in the arse (as can I) but some women seem to have to prove themselves more and it's all done in a really bullying an emotional way.

Just furious that it makes me upset!! I feel such a muppet !

OP posts:
LordEmsworth · 09/10/2018 11:35

Do you think it's generally harder working with females?

No I don't, I find most of the people I have worked with entirely pleasant. I have come across more unpleasant men ( both in terms of quantity and quality) than I have unpleasant women. The fact that you are being bullied by one women doesn't mean there's an outbreak of bitchy females - in fact if you've only come across one "bitchy female" then that suggests they are a rarity surely?

Original poster
bluecheddarcheese · 09/10/2018 11:37

Sadly, in my job, there have been a few. It's an all female environment and full of cliques and one-up-man-ships. I just find it does my head in .

Sorry for the rant. Just had a miserable morning !!

OP posts:
Snowymountainsalways · 09/10/2018 11:43

I think your use of bitchy says more about you than them.

Original poster
bluecheddarcheese · 09/10/2018 11:44

Snowymountainsalways - in what sense?

OP posts:
DuchessThingy · 09/10/2018 11:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nurserygames · 09/10/2018 11:46

Sorry you're having a tough morning and hope things improve. I do know the types of cliques you're referring to but haven't had to work with them.

themuttsnutts · 09/10/2018 11:46

It depends.
What's happened?

CrazySheepLady · 09/10/2018 11:47

I know exactly what you mean, OP. There are a few women who seem to take pleasure in putting others down. I experienced it one job in my early 20s and it was absolutely crushing. I will never understand women who do that.

In every place I've worked there have been cliques, too, although this tended to be among younger members of staff. I just put that down to not having outgrown their school days.

Original poster
bluecheddarcheese · 09/10/2018 11:50

There's a particular woman who has issues with other women (I say "women" because there are no men) and just makes our (but today "my") life miserable with untrue comments and is a real stirrer. Despite talking to her, she cannot see things reasonably. I just find it infuriating and get frustrated by almost being in tears! Pathetic of me!

Having said that, my boss (female) had just called me and been very supportive. :)

OP posts:
Sethis · 09/10/2018 11:51

Wow. Love the support on display here.

Yes, women can be incredibly bitchy and one of the oft-unstated benefits of being male is not having to deal with stuff like that. If a guy doesn't like me, the vast majority of the time he'll just insult me to my face and laugh about it or ignore me completely rather than invent a rumour or tell people about my private life. Men can be complete bastards but at least it's often straightforward.

My strategy has always been to ignore verbal stuff, and have lots of disparate interests so if someone is giving me grief in one circle I can focus on a different one instead. Working with someone like that is hard, but made easier if you focus on developing your friendships in other parts of your life.

Hopefully someone else might be able to come up with some more direct strategies, but sending good vibes anyway!

themuttsnutts · 09/10/2018 11:54

That's ood to hear. Hope she gets a ticking off

TatianaLarina · 09/10/2018 11:55

Never had any problem working with women. I’ve worked with some sexpesty arsehole men though. There can bullies in any workplace. And some workplaces can be cliquey and bitchy whatever the gender balance.

WeakAsIAm · 09/10/2018 12:01

Hey op yes there always seems to be at least one bitchy woman in each workplace/group that likes undermine other females.

I suppose it's like the saying "if you don't know who the stupid one is in the group it's probably you" .

It's hard to deal with as their behaviour often does what is intended. I like to think it's more of a reflection of them than you; insecure nasty horrible people.

Just imagine if you couldn't get away from them at the end of the day because you were that nasty horrible bitch.

Original poster
bluecheddarcheese · 09/10/2018 12:07

Thanks for the support and I have to agree, that I do think men can be arses too but tend to be more straightforward with less emotion involved ? Am i correct or is this statement wrong too!??! LOL!

I do feel it is more "her " issue and insecurities and has clearly been noted by our boss (without actually saying it) so I feel a tad better.

i was a wound up spring this morning, but calmer now ! Thanks everyone x

OP posts:
BrownPaperTeddy · 09/10/2018 12:08

It's horrible when this happens OP. I've also noticed how people are quick to undermine the effect that it can have.

Can you avoid interacting with her? Does your manager know what's happening?

Musti · 09/10/2018 12:11

I've never worked with a bitchy female and I'm 48. I've worked with some male arsehole though, but mostly worked with nice people of both sexes.

Fewminmostly · 09/10/2018 12:15

What is people's problem on here? Clearly they've never worked in a mostly female environment (that is a term to mean lots of women work in the sector for those with some nefarious issues with the word female). There are cliques, there is negative and gossiping aka "bitching"- it's a fact! That's why HR departments have a nightmare daily! There are horrible people in the world who want to put other people down for lots of reasons. It's why we teach our kids about boundaries and bullying. Good grief!

CaramelAngel · 09/10/2018 12:17

My first proper job was in a mainly female environment and my second was in an office with more men. No, i didn't find the women more bitchy, if anything the men were more bitchy.

Trinity66 · 09/10/2018 12:18

Yeah I've certainly come across more unpleasant men than women in my working life, I wouldn't judge them all as assholes though just because some are. You do us women a disservice by this thread to be quite honest.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 09/10/2018 12:20

No one has ever bullied me at work but no, I don’t find ‘females’ worse than males. I find men are 100% more likely to talk over me or repeat what I have said as their own idea, I’ve also found them 100% more likely to assign me tasks that they don’t want to do but are their role and not mine.

Literally never had your experience.

Fewmin - HR deal with ‘bitchy females’ more than anything else? Ok then.

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