Working with bitchy females!

[bluecheddarcheese]

Currently have a bully at work who is driving me nuts. Do you think it's generally harder working with females and why does it upset me so much when actually I'm a really strong character?

Please tell me your stories. Need to feel better :(

I think it can be more prevalent in females because a man who is a prick usually tends to be a prick all the time, whereas a bitchy woman can change her mood a hundred times a day - I've found you know more where you are with male colleagues.

I've recently changed jobs to a office with 10 or so females and two males, one older. The older is miserable and crabby and keeps himself to himself, whereas the younger (age in line with most of the women) gets pandered to ridiculously, as if he has 10 wives doting on him. As an outsider it is so obvious.

One colleague who I have known outside of the job for years confessed that she hates it because there is a little gang of three women who like to think they are very much top of the tree, and they don't like her. Whereas as an outsider I can see that in actual fact what the situation is that they are three very insecure women who have banded together so that one doesn't then start bullying the other, if that makes sense. Out of the trio there is a Queen Bee who they all pander to and are scared of. The other two then flex their muscles when she is out of the way.

I quite enjoy watching it all go on around me. I find if you give off an air that you know exactly what this person is up to, and can see straight through them (even if you are just fronting it out) they'll back off, fast. This (largely made up!) front has seen off many a jumped up secretary in the past.

I was badly bullied in my first job out of nursing school-I wasn’t emotionally strong back then and it got to the point that other nurses on the adjacent unit were aghast at how poorly I was treated. Now I would be able to stand up for myself and seek help from HR if it was to ever occur again but I’m a different person now (but I did quit after nine months for my mental health.) The nursing unit was badly run by the nurse manager and charge nurses had far more power back then. I can’t really say if working with one sex vs another is better I usually try to be friends with everyone but I learned quickly the nurses who could play well with others and those who didn’t

I have been bullied twice, both times by women. I prefer to work with men, I always have. I have always received better treatment from men. I find them easier to understand and more transparent.

In my experience women managers act like they are on a power trip.
My partner agrees and prefers to work with men. The women in her office are but hey and snide.

bitchy

We need concrete examples of bullying before we can advise on how to handle it. Try posting in the employment section without the sexism and you will get good constructive advice.

Without meaning to sound obvious, if you mainly work with women then you are more likely to have trouble with women if purely by the law of averages.

I've worked in both male and female dominated industries and nastiness and bullying isn't down to either sex,

I was bullied horrendously in my first job in an office age 16, by two women aged 21 and 24. They were utter utter bitches who's cunty behaviour affected me for years. I get you OP.

HTH.

Also, ignore the women acting...well...ya know...on here 😊

I work with lots of women. Large employer to do with women's health. Only a few men out of hundreds. It's fine.

I think it's more to do with specific work cultures, etc. I have always worked with mostly women and I have had trouble with women. But also men (despite there not being many). The issues have been sort of gendered (e.g. male problems more likely to be bullying by intimidating and being aggressive or sexual). But neither way is a better way, tbh.

We don't even notice how gender effects our experience. Someone made a joke about what I was wearing today which everyone thought was a bit of "banter". But actually if it was a woman I think I would have been more and equally sometimes a woman might get away with speaking to me in a way which felt mean or inappropriate coming from a man.

Either way being bullied ain't nice no matter how it comes or who from

Thankfully I’m a physicist so I was the only female on my degree and now I’m the only female in my office. I’ve worked two jobs before with majority women and it was hell.
I’ve also lived in a house share with women which was horrendous and a house share with men which was great. Maybe I’m really a man.

I have always worked in a male dominated environment and have found that there was solidarity with the few women there. In my ( limited) experience women who appear to be bullies are just trying to be what they think men should be to get on.

I find that men are usually worse. I work in IT and I find that my male clients can be really quite rude, much more so than my female clients, especially when there is a big age gap as I’m considerably younger than most of them. My worst experience was when one man insisted on pointing at me in meetings and saying ‘she can do it’ . if I’m honest though, There are very few females that work in this sort of area, But I’ve found them all to be lovely and we all get on well, regardless of the differences in age and back grounds.

Thankfully I’m a physicist so I was the only female on my degree and now I’m the only female in my office. I’ve worked two jobs before with majority women and it was hell. I’ve also lived in a house share with women which was horrendous and a house share with men which was great. Maybe I’m really a man.

Ime women who don’t get on with other women, the problem is usually with them.

I get on equally well with men and women, I don’t really understand why that would be hard.

I get on find with women thanks. I just don’t enjoy a lot of the behaviour and don’t like it in the work place. Outside of work, in a social setting, 60% of my friends are women.

I had a terrible bitch at work recently. I normally stick up for women, I'm a woman's woman. But this woman ignored me whilst being super charming to everybody else - I was forced to ignore that or be the one who was seen to create a bad atmosphere.

SHe was a right sad cow. she'd only switch on the niceness for people whose friendship validated her. She must have thought you could catch old/obese/indian/single mother, all the other people she ignored. She was literally a charming ray of sunshine to the young and the glamorous and the popular and ice cold, cold shoulder to everybody she would have tipp-exed over in her quest to turn her life in to a coke ad. I get that she didn't want to nurture any friendship with me but she damaged my potential friendships with others. She was very keen that nobody ELSE associate with me.

Yet you said ‘thankfully’ you were the only woman on your course and in your work?

Apparently you can’t get on with them there.

@redexpat, yes, it does depend what the form of bullying is. Mine was being ignored. So the advice I saw was to make the hidden obvious which made a lot of sense. Unfortunately I missed my cue on taking the right course of action but I'll know next time.

Yes thankfully. I am able to get on with people I don’t like, what with being an adult and all.
With women there is always some sort of hierarchy and work place politics that I don’t wish to be involved in. Hence why I prefer to work with men.
I don’t just walk in and call them all a bunch of cunts and refuse speak to them.

I get on find with women thanks It doesn't sound like it if you don't like their behaviour and find women hell to work with and horrendous to live with.

Ok, you got me. You clearly know more about me than I do.