Working with bitchy females!

[bluecheddarcheese]

Currently have a bully at work who is driving me nuts. Do you think it's generally harder working with females and why does it upset me so much when actually I'm a really strong character?

Please tell me your stories. Need to feel better :(

My eldest is 14 and something I've really noticed is that if a girl behaves in a mean way people will say "Oh yes, girls are so bitchy" but if a boy behaves in an identical way, the boy will be criticised but not called bitchy and no comment will be made about boys as a whole.

And also a boy being mean will sometimes be described as immature when a girl would be described as bitchy

I don’t know. Who’s bitchier ? Teresa or Boris? Women’s power play is bitchiness. Men’s power play is them being Alpha dogs. Neither is fun to be around.

I’ve worked in majority female environments and there were some who didn’t get on as well with others, or some who were not team players - but I wouldn’t call any of that bitchiness. The same applied as much in equally split or majority male environments - there are sneaky, gossipy, malign people everywhere.

Cliques - what is this, a High School movie ?

Women all together does not equal bitchiness - it’s not a ‘fact’ , it’s an interpretation of a particular work culture, it’s not a universal experience .

40 years in work and have always find females far harder and bitchier in the work place, nothing wrong with your assertion OP, hope things improve for you, hope you are logging every nasty incident.

OP, this really is sexist confirmation-bias nonsense. Some people are bitchy shits and some aren't in the workplae. Their gender has nothing to do with it. I worked in a place that was horrendously bitchy and clicquey - lots of 'let's not invite that one person for drinks/celebrate that person's birthday properly even though we celebrate everyone else's.' ALL the bitches there were men. The women in that office just got on with wokring hard and were a joy to be around.
I've had a horrendous boss who was a woman, a brilliant boss who was a woman, a couple of lazy male bosses...
Think of people as people.

There are cliques, there is negative and gossiping aka "bitching"- it's a fact!

They’re a ‘fact’ of gender balanced and male dominated workplaces too. Ime it’s much more to do with the culture of the company or industry and the management, than gender.

Some companies, for example, have an endemic culture of bullying.

Cliques - what is this, a High School movie ?

Quite. I think some people see cliques everywhere - work, social, online etc. Mainly I just see friends.

Sorry this is happening to you OP, but "females"??? I usually only see that word used to mean adult women by men, or women who don't like other women.

In my whole very long working life I've never encountered "bitchy females". Several almost criminally nasty men though

My DH spent many years working in the music industry which is very male oriented. After a career change he worked with largely women in health and safety.

He said it had been a revelation, and anyone who thought women were bitchy should try working with men.

He also said that in all male teams there's always jockeying for position. Men want their ideas to "win" in meetings, whereas women generally work together in a far more cooperative way. It's the outcome that matters rather than whose idea it was. He much preferred it.

What a thread title! Are you serious? Bitchy females?

'I have never experienced this problem therefore it is not true'
People have different levels of resilience and sensitivity. Anxiety can make you extremely paranoid. If people confirm that they are doing something to you, on purpose, to make you feel bad, then IMO you are allowed to say that you find this bitchy or whatever non- gender- conforming adjective you like. The OP came on for some support and if all you amazing, supportive, women who have worked in such amazing supportive environments, couldn't just offer that without patronising pedantry, then time to go and examine your self perceptions.
There is a massive problem with bullying in the workplace, the vulnerable amongst us feel it how they feel it. It goes unchallenged because of the engrained culture of many workplaces. I know I'm a supportive colleague and I know in a lovely workplace. I have a string of great friendships from each of my jobs . I also got bullied out of my career by a clique of bitches. Don't argue with me about my experience or language because that's my life, my opinion, my reality.

No advice, but I understand your view OP. I hate working in all/majority female offices, the most unpleasant environments I've worked in. That's not to say all women I work with are horrible or all men are pleasant, but unfortunately I've come across more bitchy pack mentalities in female dominated offices. BUT I have always got along better with boys/men and enjoy the 'male banter' that comes with working in a male dominated industry as I do now. I grew up on building sites, my circle of friends at school were always boys, my friends now are mostly men but my closest circle are 'ladettish' females.

There’s a big difference between saying “I’m having a problem with workplace bullying, advice and sympathy please” and using those experiences to promote biased and sexist nonsense about women being bitchy
Very well put!

I understand what you're trying to say and how you feel ! Definitely feels like there is more emotion when you butt heads woman vs woman.

There is a massive problem with bullying in the workplace, the vulnerable amongst us feel it how they feel it. It goes unchallenged because of the engrained culture of many workplaces.

Exactly the point I made above. Nothing to do with gender.

Where does this guff about men not being emotional come from?

One of the commonest themes on Relationships is partners with anger and aggression issues.

Who gets so wound up on weekend they explode into physical fights? Who bawls after their football team loses?

There’s a big difference between saying “I’m having a problem with workplace bullying, advice and sympathy please” and using those experiences to promote biased and sexist nonsense about women being bitchy.

....

Sorry, OP, but as soon as you describe women as "bitchy" you've lost my sympathy.

Fewmin if you’re referring to me, you didn’t position your first post as ‘this happened to me so I can well believe it’ you positioned it as fact - That's why HR departments have a nightmare daily! to be precise.

So no, I can’t say I’ve noticed women bitching but that doesn’t mean I don’t think workplace bullying happens.

I work almost exclusively with women and it’s been the best environment I've ever worked in, so supportive.

My worse bosses have all been male, and most of my best (but not all) have been female. I think you probably minimise and excuse bad male behaviour and don’t do the same for women because you find it harder to deal with for some reason.

I think you're getting a bit of a hard time OP. I've just resigned from a job where the female manager was a complete and utter cunt. Bullying, incompetent, abusive, fraudulent you name it... But in my time I've had good and bad bosses of both sexes.

I don't think it's a sex thing, just a character of the individual thing. I do wholeheartedly sympathise with you though and hope you get a new job soon,!