Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How many hours a week does your husband work?

103 replies

AlpineButterfly · 07/10/2018 18:54

Feeling a bit blue this evening. Managed a day with DH and ds1&2. The next day isn't for ages.

How many hours does your DH work/be unavailable for and how do you cope if you have small ones?

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 07/10/2018 19:00

As many as I fucking tell him too.

mindutopia · 07/10/2018 19:04

My dh is self employed, and we planned life around family time. So most days he leaves for work after I leave for the school run at 8:15 (I’m on mat leave, if I was working, we’d share it roughly 50/50) and is usually home around 5. He still does about an hour or two of admin work in the evenings, but only after doing bath and bedtime with our oldest (I do baby). He works away about 10 weekends a year and does the occasional late night, but on the average day, it’s 8:15-5 plus evenings on the computer at home. We both have demanding careers, but our approach has always been that family life comes first. What’s the point of working all the time if it means you never enjoy time together? We work to live rather than live to work despite having careers we enjoy.

Mum4Fergus · 07/10/2018 19:06

Too many...but it's mostly peaks and troughs. He's self employed delivery driver Mo-Sa so that peaks around holiday periods. He's also a musician in a wedding band so that's most Fri/Sat evenings throughout the year too. We get 1 week together every year, apart from that we just grab what time we can together x

lljkk · 07/10/2018 19:07

Maybe 18? I work about 40, plus minimum 2 hours commuting/day.

Singletomingle · 07/10/2018 19:08

I used to work 60 hour weeks even more at busy times, I did once top 100 hours in 7 days. Then I was forced to change careers and now I work 40 hours monday- friday much better in so many ways the knock on however is the money reflects the lesser hours.

delilahbucket · 07/10/2018 19:11

He works 35, I am self employed and fear working out how many hours I actually work because it is ridiculous sometimes. It balances itself out between us. We only get one day together a fortnight because ds goes to his dad's every other weekend and the only day off we both get is Sunday. We try and make the most of that.

HiGunny · 07/10/2018 19:12

He leaves at 7 and is home around 6.30pm. Two nights a week he's home around 8.30/9. I'm a Sahm so it's a long day with the kids but I'm used to it now and we have our routines. He used to travel a few times a year for 2 weeks at a time - that was really tough as the DC were both under 3 at the time.
I'm hoping he gets a job closer to home/work from home over the next couple of years so he can see more of the DC.

SoyDora · 07/10/2018 19:12

Technically 35. Some weeks 60ish and a couple of nights away. Usually works from home so even when he’s working constantly it doesn’t seem to bad as he’s around.
However he’s also a chair of governors at the local primary school which can take up a lot of time.

GetOnYerBike · 07/10/2018 19:13

Not as many as most but it is about being productive, so he has often come home in time for dinner, baths the children and puts them to bed.

Then he pops onto the laptop to finish off some work for maybe an hour or so but he is with me/next to me so we can chat etc.

He is self employed but highly regarded by his bosses who also go home to their families and maybe work in the evening. The sector he works in never sleeps so if needed he would be called at 3am (paid additional money for this) so the job is never finished if that makes sense.

He knew that his bosses were family oriented which helps.

DieAntword · 07/10/2018 19:16

Contract is 37.5hrs. Usually leaves at 7-8am and gets home between 5.30 and 7pm. He’s in London all this week (left today) so it’s just me and the kids till Saturday now.

BakerBear · 07/10/2018 19:16

70 hours.

Runs our company. Lives and breathes the place. Thinks everything will fall apart if he takes a day off.

I ve got used to doing everything with the kids on my own. The kids know no different its normal for them for them to never see dh out of the house (works from home)

Thatstheendofmytether · 07/10/2018 19:16

He works Monday to Friday every week, leaves at 6 home about 5.30. Then does at least one night shift on top of that for a different company. Always a Saturday night and sometimes a night shift during the week, this week he did 2 during the week. He also goes to football all day Saturday so only gets a Sunday at home ☹

trevthecat · 07/10/2018 19:16

Partner is self employed. Usually works 8 till 5 during the week and sometimes all weekend too. Once home he is in his man cave pricing jobs,ordering materials, organising stuff! I get home around 6pm with all 3 DC and he has usually started cooking. Weekends can be a pain as I would love to have more time together. He's a bit of a workaholic though and loves his job and it pays well

SoyDora · 07/10/2018 19:18

And as he works from home he will often take half an hour to fetch the DD’s from school/pre school if he’s got a gap in his diary, or to drop them at activities etc.

Flatasapancakenow · 07/10/2018 19:19

DH works about 40 hours a week 9.15-5.15. He works from home which has been amazing with young kids. He does the morning school run (2 different schools) and leaves the youngest at his mums house if it's a day I'm in work. I don't really expect him to do any housework during working hours, obviously, but he does tend to put on a load of washing and hang it out to dry, which really helps.

His company are very family orientated and are flexible when it comes to things like parent-teacher meetings, Drs appointments, school plays etc. He did turn down a job offer with another company that involved a huge payrise but almost constant travel. He said no amount of money is worth sacrificing family life for.

Our DC are 9, 3 and 2 and I'm pregnant with number 4. When the two youngest were very small the days were very long and the nights were sleepless - it was tough! But it gets so much easier.

What age are your DC OP, and what are his working hours like?

ladybee28 · 07/10/2018 19:20

DP's a musician, and works "officially" (i.e gigging) around 13-18 hours a week, all evenings. He works pretty much every day for hours, though - constantly in the studio mixing and messing around with tracks and practicing scales...

I'm also self-employed and have a stream of passive income, so if we want to spend time together, we do. And if we want to focus on our work, we do that. DSS is home EOW and 2 evenings a week, so when he's at home we hit 'pause' on work and hang out as a family.

I feel really lucky – I say firmly that it's not all luck, we've worked damn hard to be able to set our lives up this way – but when I see friends of mine who have to snatch an hour here or an hour there with their partners or kids... I feel very lucky that we both have the flexibility we have.

DragonGoby · 07/10/2018 19:20

He typically leaves the house at 8am and gets home around 7-8pm. Occasionally later (say once or twice a month). I work shorter hours, so I do most of the school drop offs and pick ups.

When DD was tiny he was on a massive stressful project working ridiculous hours (i.e. regularly getting home at midnight). That got lonely for me. Luckily it hasn't been like that for years now.

gollygoodnessgraciousme · 07/10/2018 19:20

About 55-65 hours pw, getting home about 10pm. Including weekends. I work Mon to Fri, he works Wed-Sunday so we don't have a day off together but it means our childcare costs are affordable and we plan for him to change his job/hours once all kids are at school. At the moment he gets Mon and Tues with them, I get the weekends. He does book a weekend off as holiday about every other month so we can have a weekend all together.

firsttimedad79 · 07/10/2018 19:20

I go to work at 6am Monday and get back late on Friday night.

It's hard work for my partner as she has to deal with 5 kids on her own. But we make it work on the weekend :)

Outfoxed · 07/10/2018 19:24

He works nights and sleeps during the day so we have about 3-4 hours a day where we are both awake and at home at the same time. When we have kids we both expect that to change though

chickydoo · 07/10/2018 19:25

DH about 70 (including commute)
Me possibly more

OxanaVorontsova · 07/10/2018 19:26

about the same as me, why?

moocowmrs · 07/10/2018 19:27

DH is a dairy farmer he works 7 days a week, 5.30 am till 7.30pm on a good day at the weekend he comes in around 11.30 till 3. It’s tough but that’s life ! Summer months are longer hours.

Lauren83 · 07/10/2018 19:28

He is out at work from 7am - 6.30pm most weekdays and works away once a week so stays overnight then, he also has a second casual job that means he works Saturdays usually anything between 8pm and 4am and occasional Friday nights too so I would say average is around 55 hours. I work too but only 3-4 days as DS is only 8 months

SimplyPut · 07/10/2018 19:29

35 plus a combined 17.5hr commute each week over five days

I work 35hrs over four days.