How many hours a week does your husband work?

[AlpineButterfly]

Feeling a bit blue this evening. Managed a day with DH and ds1&2. The next day isn't for ages.

How many hours does your DH work/be unavailable for and how do you cope if you have small ones?

We have 4 DCs, one has SEN.

DH is out of the house 7am - 8pm Monday- Friday but brings home work which he does most evenings and all day Sunday.

We knew when he took on his current role what the hours were going to be like. It’s harder than I thought tbh and although I’m not struggling per say, I am missing him and so are the children. But the positive is that he’s much happier where he is now so although we don’t have much time with him, he’s like his old self again so it’s worth it.

Officially 35. Reality, leaves home 6am, long commute, home 9-10pm. Also often works a few hours at the weekend. Travels sometimes too, but usually not for more than 4 days or so at a time.

I knew it when I met him 20 years ago, didn't like it then and still don't like it now that we have teenage kids. But he loves his job, is fulfilled by it and it allows us to have a quality of life that my salary couldn't support. I work 3-4 days per week.

On the days he is home (mon and fri) leaves home at 8:30 and home around 9pm. Leaves home at 6am Tues and home 10pm ish (depending on flight delays) on Thursday. I’m contracted to work 35.7 hours a week. It’s hard work, and can be lonely at times but he is doing a job he loves and earning a lot of money.

Ideally we would both like him to be home more but that would mean us moving to London from Scotland and we don’t really want that. Quite a few families I know have a parent who commutes to London.

@WipsGlitter- bet he’s a teacher?

We both do 50+ hour weeks. DH and I work together now (I was made redundant so took a job at his family business), so that has shortened his time in the office as he arrives and leaves with me. We only have one car and need to do childcare drop offs etc.
We generally arrive at 7:45 and leave at 6.
He then answers emails and phone calls most evenings and goes in to the office on weekends. It bothers me. The only time I've ever known him to put an out of office on was when he was on paternity leave.
He's a director and it's expected but I'm definitely jealous of other people at work who turn up at 9 and leave at 5 without a care in the world.

This thread is kind of sad as it is a stark reminder that society really hasn't moved on that much. Very much still the traditional man at work, woman at home situation. Bar a few that is

No @Petitepamplemousse he's an accountant! Works for a big company. Through the years I've realised a lot of his self worth is wrapped up with his work. It's complicated.

He's out of the house 9-6 Monday-Friday but pops home for lunch. We're luckily that he works a 5 minute bike ride away. I'm on maternity leave atm and will be out of the house 7:15-6:15 Tuesday-Thursday. He'll do the nursery runs.

We both work 40 hours a week, but my commute is longer than is so I'm out of the house about 50 hours.

We have different days off though so don't get much quality time together unless I get a rare weekend day or it's a bank holiday.

But we spend most evenings together which is really nice. We don't have children yet though.

It varies significantly... Contracted hours are 38 or 40 but the reality varies on travel requirements.

When he doesn't travel he works from home, so typical day will be 8:30 To 5 or 6 if really busy.

When he travels he leaves the house at 7am and gets back at 8 or even 9pm, which can bump up the working week to 50 hours +

I have a similar work pattern and we have 4 children. We used to have to rely on childcare a lot, but barely use any now they are getting older.. Still a,massive juggle though!!

He works 35 a week, earning 50k.

I work 25 a week, earning 13k.

He works away, his hours are 60 plus

He works around 60 hours a week. Usually out of the house 7am to 6.30pm, which includes 20-30 minute commute each way. Then works an hour or so in the evening, then 4-5 hours on a Sunday. We have set a rule that he doesn't work on Saturdays, or Sunday mornings, otherwise he'd work all the time if he could. He's a teacher. I work 27 hours a week, to fit in with school hours for DS.

This thread is kind of sad as it is a stark reminder that society really hasn't moved on that much. Very much still the traditional man at work, woman at home situation. Bar a few that is

I chose to stay at home when the children were small and chose to give up work to be at home now. There was no "man makes money woman does cooking and cleaning" scenario. I could have had a nanny, cleaner etc but chose not to as I was happy to stay at home. At one point I decided to go to Uni and was fully supported in the decision I made. As was I supported in the years I chose to work. So no, I disagree that society hasn't moved on.

We're both contracted to work 37 hours. DH tends to stick to that with the odd exception and occasionally works away.
I tend to work more hours but have greater flexibility... I can work from home so although I'll rarely stay later than 4/5pm i often work in the evening and the odd weekend at home.

Probably about 60 -70 at the moment. He mostly works from home and is at his (home office) desk by 7am. Most nights he comes out when I shout dinner at 7.30pm. I try to drag him out for a quick lunch too. He does emails and urgent stuff ready for Mondays over the weekend.

When the DC were small he mostly worked away from home. Left Monday mornings at 5am and returned Friday nights around 8pm.

(Telecoms)

Approx 45hrs a week, sometimes more, but it's permanent nights so he starts at 11pm and finishes at 8am. It's hard going.

He works normally 8-2 two days a week, 8-3/4 two days and 8-6 one day! He is also term time only (although occasionally goes and works in previous field during the longer holidays for some extra money! He is a college lecturer and has worked quite hard to get where he is - at one point he was working 9-5 including Saturdays and I was working 3-9pm so we would pass each other by when the kids were a little younger but we got here in the end! He was working weekends up until a few weeks ago in his old job but has decided now all three kids are in school the extra money is not worth the sacrifice of the time with the kids as although we were better off we didn't have any time to enjoy doing things as a family!

I work 3 mornings a week also term time only so we have lots of time with the kids, we do okay financially and are comfortable okay house, decent car and a holiday in Uk (could prob afford abroad instead) - but are definitely not the best off out of the school families! For us we have worked various hours/ times but this is how we are happiest!

Varies week by week. He works 6 days 1 week then 5 days the next so gets every other weekend off. Averages about 42 hours a week. He leaves at 8am and is back for 7pm. So he gets breakfast for 3yr old dd and then does bath and bed when he gets home. Finally sit down around now to relax but ds is 15 weeks so in reality we don't have much down time atm. Some weeks he will have to start early or finish late but we have a routine that works for us atm. Hopefully moving soon to cut some time off his commute which should make things easier.

Easily 80+ hours a week for the princely sum of £11k 'take home pay' a year.

But that's farming for you.

He's out of the house for a minimum of 12.5 hrs per day, and probably averages 70 hours over 5 days, on most weeks.

He regularly leaves the house by 7am and isn't back before 10-11pm (probably averages 1x per week).
He only rarely works on the weekend, although he may answer emails, etc.
He rarely has a day off, and when he does he spends most of the day answering emails and phonecalls, so he may as well not bother.

I'm on my own a lot.

A junior hotel commis chef, the contract says 45 variable hours per week, but averaging 60, and often more. At 19, on NMW for the age, this is DC not DH. Home yesterday at midnight, then back in at 6.30 to do breakfast, lunch and staff meals until 6.00pm.

Actually, looking at my calendar/diary, he's usually back late (after 10pm) twice a week, not once, and probably one week a month, it's nearly every week night.

He probably spends about 2-3hrs a day on Saturday and Sunday, sorting emails, and other stuff he can do from home. If deadlines are looming, I just don't see him.

He's well paid, but the role has immense responsibility, and it hasn't done his health or temperament any good.

PippaRabbit

What would have happened if our husband had said he wanted to stay home and raise the kids? This thread shows it is still default position that woman takes career hit. And man just carries on regardless.