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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How many hours a week does your husband work?

103 replies

AlpineButterfly · 07/10/2018 18:54

Feeling a bit blue this evening. Managed a day with DH and ds1&2. The next day isn't for ages.

How many hours does your DH work/be unavailable for and how do you cope if you have small ones?

OP posts:
childcareheadache · 08/10/2018 21:21

*your

Lazypuppy · 08/10/2018 21:25

We both work 38 hours a week,but start earlier so finish between 3:30 and 4. We waited until we were in these jobs before having a baby so we knew we would get to spend time together as a family each evening

Scrumptiousbears · 08/10/2018 21:32

60 plus commute. I work 40. We are both full time with two young DC. It's hard work.

Thinkingofausername1 · 08/10/2018 22:33

Considering how full on dh's job is, he leaves same time as Dd and home after six, with some evening meetings. I feel for many of my friends who's dh's are out working at weekends or very long hours, because it must get lonely ( trying my best not to sound patronising there)! Thanks

Mumof1andacat · 08/10/2018 22:51

About 45hrs. Shift work so can be 6-3 or 2-10 but being a manager he rarely finishes on time. He works 5 out of 7 so works a most/every weekend. He is also doing a compressed degree (2 yrs instead of 3)he is classified as a full time student. We have our first day off together since early august on Saturday

Stinkbomb · 08/10/2018 23:40

I work Mon - Fri 40-50hrs, STBXH was self employed & works 3.5 longer days (approx 40 hrs), so we fit both our work around school hours & weekends, school holidays etc.

Stinkbomb · 08/10/2018 23:41

When we were together, it was before DD started school, but she still went to preschool on his midweek days off 🧐

effiehabb · 08/10/2018 23:46

Husband leaves at 7am, home around 7pm, eats dinner then works from home on laptop until around 12-1am. To be honest, it's really really shit, but he feels it necessary in order to climb and it's starting to pay off but a massive personal/family cost Sad We miss him.

Jlynhope · 08/10/2018 23:47

60-80 hours. We have on ds with special needs. I like doing things on my own though so it has always worked well for us. I get more thrown off when he is home on vacation.

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 09/10/2018 08:58

@childcare absolutely spot on.
Traditional gender roles still seem the norm.
There seems to be lots of women sacrificing their careers and lots of men missing out on family life

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 09/10/2018 09:41

between 48 and 60 hrs a week..and as for how we cope with young ones well we don't lol I do!!!

Dobbythesockelf · 09/10/2018 09:57

I didn't sacrifice a career I had a job I really didn't like that was very stressful at times and didn't earn me the big bucks. My dh on the other hand has a career that he enjoys that does earn decent money. We have no family near by, dh has to work business hours which are long and dependent upon customers etc. We made a decision as a couple that I would stay at home until the children went to school. Not because I'm a woman but because it's what I wanted and made the most sense in our situation. Even if I was working My dh hours wouldn't change so he wouldn't see anymore of his kids than he does now.

Howdoyoudoit31 · 09/10/2018 10:05

40-50 sometimes 60.

We have 2 children. 1 is severely disabled.

I cope fine, there my kids and I can do everything without any help. He always had a Sunday off.
I prefer it when he is at workWink

QueenoftheNights · 09/10/2018 10:06

He works fewer hours now than ever before.

Leaves for work around 7.45am and home by 6.30-7pm.

In the past when DCs were small, he would work till 9pm some nights if they had something to get out on a deadline.

On top of that he'd be away overseas quite a lot for a week at a time or more- often other side of the world. Often having to fly in and out on a Sunday.

Trinity66 · 09/10/2018 10:26

Between 35-40 hours but I work the same so we're home the same time, ours kids are teens now though

justtypicalme · 09/10/2018 10:29

Mines works offshore so works out at 12 hours a day for 3 weeks solid. (84 hours a week)
Has its pitfalls, but it's a job 🙂

Pebblespony · 09/10/2018 10:31

12 hrs a day × 5 and bloody awkward shifts too. It a pain.

Pebblespony · 09/10/2018 10:31

*It's

Barbayagar · 09/10/2018 10:54

Average day is at least 14 hours (6am - 8pm) that he is out of the house. Lots of travel as well.

Want2bSupermum · 09/10/2018 12:02

childcare I hear you. I downplayed my career in my post. Yes DH earns a lot more but we both work FT and have strong careers. Mine feels like it has been slower to progress but DH started work at 17 so has 5 years longer working, compounded by him being 4 years older than me.

AlpineButterfly · 09/10/2018 20:38

This thread is certainly eye opening. DH works a simple 40 hour nmw job but has just started studying. He studies 2-4 hours every evening and is away two weekends per month plus an extra 3 days supervision. It works out that he has two days per month with us but luckily does see the boys for a couple of hours after work before they go to bed (while I'm at work). I guess it's just not ideal that they're both under two.

I cope ok day to day but am shattered and don't seem to have enough hours in the day. We're actually both grabbing an early night and going to bed now as both boys were up last night.

I guess I just miss my husband

OP posts:
Lovethesun100 · 09/10/2018 20:55

Leaves home at 7am gets home around 7pm so approx 12 hours per day 7 days per week. Works for himself, lives and breathes it Hmm

Temporaryanonymity · 09/10/2018 20:59

I don't have a partner. It's just me in a job with long hours. Luckily it's flexible or I would never manage. My sons are 11 and 8 so I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

CountFosco · 09/10/2018 20:59

We both work about 30h a week. He does school run every morning and 2 afternoons a week. We live 5 mins from school and he then cycles to work (I have a 20-30 min drive) We are very lucky.

Moffa · 09/10/2018 21:04

Another farmers wife here. He works 4.30am to 8pm on average, seven days a week. We have two pre-school age children & they barely know him. I hate it & I wish he would prioritise his family more. We take one holiday a year (in Winter) and he spends the whole week relaxing as apparently I don’t work Angry
I love my life with my kids but I wish I had a normal partnership as well