My DD is nearly a year old and we literally haven’t done it since I was pregnant. Also have 2 other older children. The problem is I don’t want to do it, at all. I have no desire whatsoever – not for DH or for anyone else for that matter! Just feel completely exhausted and overwhelmed most of the time. The last thing I want to think about is sex. Even before DD3 we didn’t do it much, although at the start of the relationship we had it all the time (sounds familiar I know!!)
Well, DH has been getting annoyed about it. Keeps saying stuff like - we’re obviously never going to have sex ever again.... I’m too young never to have sex.... He keeps saying how frustrated he is. I understand where he is coming from and I told him I wanted us to sit down and talk about it. I told him I wanted to explain what I’m feeling and maybe we can figure out how we can make things better. But he gets really annoyed about this and doesn’t want to talk – he says nothing is going to change and it’s pointless. He basically wants me to say OK let’s do it, or to say that I don’t want to do it. He basically says if we do not do it soon then we will have to make other arrangements – in the past he has said we will have to see other people (meaning, he will see other people).
I don’t know what to do next. I do understand that being frustrated from lack of sex is really difficult. But I can’t separate sex from the rest of our relationship and I feel like I am being bullied (with this topic and in other ways too). In the past I have given in to his needs but felt horrible about it. I want sex to be part of a respectful and mutual pleasure and I try to explain this to him but he says I am making excuses and if I really wanted it I would just do it. I don’t know how to explain to him that his demands and bad feeling are pushing me further away from wanting it. But then I start to feel guilty and like I am somehow abnormal.