i'm in the wrong ...limited sexual encounters

[captainbirdseye1]

We are married mid 30's, have everything in life we need/want including 3 beautiful children.
We are currently living with her inlaws due to us purchasing our 3rd home, which is basically being smashed down and rebuilt to our spec. We are lucky to be in this situation and have support around us todo this.

My question is i guess being 35 is i look around me on the train to work and see old people 70+, and think i should make the most of everything i have including being naughty with my wife. I have never cheated on her (been together like 16years+) and love her to bits. I sometimes let my mind drift and think this would be fun to try in the bedroom. This may include adding a sprinkle of porn, naughty underwear or just being naughty in general to add some different things to our sex life and also to add some diversirty.

We have 3 small children and i get it shes is mentally and physcially exhausted, on the same hand i look after a large international firm and take allot of pressure/stress from work.

Bearing that aside im never tired to engage in sex or naughtyness, she however is asleep most nights by 9/10pm, i dont even get a kiss at night.

I'm i being a muppet here or is something wrong?

I'm completly open to her and stuff i'am writing here has been discussed many a time face to face but nothing seems to change.

I'm not looking to jump ship or anything like that i just love my wife and want to have lots of fun before i get old and cant do anything sexually any more.

For all the haters out there its not all about sex, this is one element of it, i make sure weekends are family time when/where possible.

Arf

I couldn't get past 'her inlaws' either.

Oh I love a thread like this

“Naughties” who the heck says that, never mind writes it down?!

I'd have sworn it was a woman who wrote this if I'm honest.

It's not naughty, it's making sweet, sweet love to your 100% real wife. Who, seemingly, is also your sister

Which all boys boarding school did you go to?

Have a few cocktails, tell her nice things to make her feel special. That should
Lead you to the horizontal fox trot!

Everyone needs to read this. It's the most beautiful thing I've seen on MN in a long time.

Make sure your wife is on board with the concept and you explicitly mention that this is a perfect time for some sexual intimacy...

Yuck, yuck, yuck.

How about wanting to just spend time with her, and enjoy the intimacy of being together? Instead of being told explicitly that you're taking her away, and her part of the 'bargain' is to have sex with you.

Instead of being told explicitly that you're taking her away, and her part of the 'bargain' is to have sex with you

@BIWI

By all means, continue to assume the worst possible scenario for a suggested hypothetical idea.

Did I say "Tell"? Did I say it was transactional?

No. I specifically and repeatedly said "Check she's on board with it" and "is happy to go ahead".

The conversation would be less "Ugg kidnap you. Ugg have sex. Hur hur hur" and rather more "Hey my love, I know looking after the kids is really tiring, and I'd love to rejuvenate us both with a relaxing break away, especially since we're living with the parents and never have time to ourselves. It's been ages since we were together, alone, without any distractions and I want to really treat both of us to a romantic dinner, sleeping in late and not having to worry about a thing. If we get somewhere nice, I'll even get some candles and massage oil and see how things go from there! What do you think? Is there anywhere in particular you'd like to go?"

The focus on the sex is because that was the OPs specific problem. If he'd asked for advice on how to manage some other aspect of his relationship e.g. amount of time together, I would have suggested something in a different way.

I'd welcome that sort of invitation, Sethis. It sounds tempting. And I take your point about offering advice on the subject the OP asked about.

If I lived with my parents there would be very little sex happening either.

There also would be very little sex if he called it being naughty and didn't understand the difference between parents and in-laws. Allot would just finish off the tiny bit of sex drive I might have left. The mention of porn would result in divorce.

Have a few cocktails, tell her nice things to make her feel special. That should Lead you to the horizontal fox trot!

No, it really shouldn't. FFS a few cocktails and compliments and we are all dying to shag our men out of gratefulness that they have said nice things to us!

I would want to fuck a man who referred to sex as “naughty” either.

Hope this helps.

^Wouldn’t

Gah.

Not as bad as a boy in my youth who asked if I "wanted to go the full hog".

Was it David Cameron?

You've got years and years and years before you'll be too old to be naughty with your wife; don't be worrying about that. Older people don't lose that side of themselves, you know.

Your current situation - living with in laws and having 3 little kids - isn't going to help. Could the famiky look after the kids now & again so you can treat your wife to a long weekend away somewhere, so you both can at least a little privacy together.

More than anything, I think you need to give it time. In your own home and eith the kids being less needy, you'll have more time for each other. Never stop letting your wife know that you do value her in that role; she's not just a mother. Always show her how special she is to you, no matter what.

Not David Cameron. Same sort of schoolboy though.

Somehow I'm not surprised. Although if you're going to proposition someone using the worlds worst thought out idiom, I would have hoped he would at least have said 'whole hog' rather than 'full hog'. What are they teaching at Eton these days...?

Have a look at this...kept seeing it around tried with my partner "just for fun" he was a bit surprised by questions but it is good. It asks a series of questions about sexual preference fetish, fantasies etc.
Thanks to user xpc316e

mojoupgrade.com/

Oops here's the click link!

mojoupgrade.com

forgot to say it also scores you separately and only shows matched results

Because the OP is a man he is getting picked apart.
Now on the forth page, something that has been answered that was originally mis-typed is still being picked on.
It’s like the popular gang at school bullying someone who isn’t popular.

If this was a woman posting then she’d being being told that he is emotionally abusing her, or to LTB!!!!

Because the OP is a man he is getting picked apart..

Not because he is a man. Because what he has posted.

If this was a woman posting then she’d being being told that he is emotionally abusing her, or to LTB!!!!

How is the OP being emotionally abused

Good god what a bunch of wankers on this thread tonight. Fuck off with your piss taking on spelling mistakes or typing errors it's like being in high school surrounded by group mentality bullies