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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Added myself to dh and ow fb chat - part 2

505 replies

MissMarpleMyArse · 23/09/2018 20:37

My first thread received so much support that I've been advised to make another one due to the number of messages. I knew my dh was up to no good, added myself to their Facebook chat and blew it all up.....

OP posts:
yawning801 · 27/09/2018 07:17

Good on you OP!

Ooforfoxsakeridesagain · 27/09/2018 08:29

Normally I’m dead against telling the other partner but you’ve changed my mind. I think you did exactly the right thing. I know I wanted to tell the OW’s partner at the time but didn’t.

And you have an ally. So when your H tells you are are ‘mad’ you know it’s not just you.

All the strength to you. Flowers

fredleighton · 27/09/2018 09:04

I agree with Goldilocks. Focus on your own situation now. What the other couple do is their business.

pinkcarpet · 27/09/2018 09:24

OP you've been able to keep a cool head despite the madness around you. Just remember how strong you are and how much your girls will benefit from maintaining your calm and grace every time you feel a wobble. I'd also agree that you've given OW H all the facts and now you need to leave them to it. focus on yourself and your needs now Flowers

MauraIsles · 27/09/2018 10:05

I think you did the right thing telling the OW’s DH, if he chooses to stay with her after this it’s his decision, but at least, hopefully he will have all the info about their sordid little affair, and he isn’t blindly trying to move forward whilst not in possession of all the facts. I think it’s disgusting what they’ve done to you both, they should be ashamed of themselves for all the hurt they’ve caused.

MiggledyHiggins · 27/09/2018 11:48

You did right to tell him. It sounds like he wants to be certain of facts before he confronts her. One thing is sure though, he does not trust her and he does doubt her version. Otherwise he would have blocked you by now.

But you've given him what he needs if he wants to dig. His marriage is his decision and if for example she's the primary carer for the children, he might stand to lose an awful lot in terms of seeing his children or his home. So I can understand his caution - remember you've had months of suspicion up to this point. It's possibly all brand new to him.

But focus on you, your DC and your future. Hers and his are their issue.

TheMonkeyMummy · 27/09/2018 17:27

Another one saying that you did the right thing. I would definitely want to know.

PlinkPlink · 27/09/2018 19:27

Hope you're doing okay OP? Flowers Any news from OWH?

Original poster
MissMarpleMyArse · 27/09/2018 19:39

Sorry. I have t read any replies, just logging in to update. I've got flu. Proper flu. He said he tried but she woke up so will try Friday when she's had wine. Mum is here looking after me. God I'm so ill.

OP posts:
HerRoyalFattyness · 27/09/2018 19:43

Get well soon. Brew

richdeniro · 27/09/2018 19:51

Sounds like the stress of it all has taken its toll on your immune system. This is normal so get plenty of rest, sleep, vitamin c and remember you are surrounded by people who love you.

Get well soon and keep your chin up.

letsdolunch321 · 27/09/2018 20:30

Poor you 💐 everything has caught up on you. Take care of yourself

EggMayonnaise · 27/09/2018 20:42

Get well soon

InstagramPork · 27/09/2018 20:48

You’re probably run down due to the stress of it all. Put yourself first, take care of yourself and rest.
I’ve been following your thread and you seem like an amazingly strong woman. You’ll get through this and so will your girls xxxx
I don’t often feel emotionally involved in threads on here but I really am feeling it for you

bubbles108 · 27/09/2018 20:49

Get well soon

PlinkPlink · 27/09/2018 20:51

Definitely sounds like stress OP.

Get well soon. Glad you've got your mum looking after you Flowers

Ellamorgan · 27/09/2018 20:56

Hope your feeling better soon @MissMarple, the stress has probably caught up with you which is why your feeling unwell. All this stress comes with a price, I am on antibiotics for a throat and sinus infection.

You Mum sounds amazing, she must be so angry on you behalf Flowers for both of you x

Florries · 27/09/2018 21:20

Hot, steamy bath with a dollop of Vicks in.

Fresh, chicken broth soup.

Plenty of sudofed tablets and hot honey and lemon.

Get well soon, Maple xx

MiddleClassProblem · 27/09/2018 21:26

Hope your flu gets better soon x

Tisahardlife · 27/09/2018 21:30

Get well soon OP, I'm sure you're illness will not have been helped by the stress you are under. Yay for your mum Flowers

pissedglitter · 27/09/2018 21:47

Hope you feel better soon

TheLastNigel · 27/09/2018 21:49

The last thing you needed...well done to your lovely mum coming to the rescue again! Get well soon x

NoFucksImAQueen · 27/09/2018 22:13

iv been looking for a new thread but couldn't find it. I'm so sorry to hear you're uncovering even more shit

Sharkwithknees · 27/09/2018 23:17

Well done OP, you've handled everything absolutely flawlessly 👌

Hope you're as ok as can be Flowers Can't give you advice as you're handling this way better than I would have! Only thing I can guarantee is that in a few months you'll miss the flu 100x more than you'll ever miss this wanker. You are superb, I want you as my life coach Grin

Quantumblue · 27/09/2018 23:23

oP you have been so strong- now is a good time to crash and be looked after.

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