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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is sending a naked picture cheating?

106 replies

Tilly30 · 04/09/2018 23:24

My boyfriend of 4 years sent a picture of his d*ck to another women along with sex talk etc. He denies that it’s cheating and I should be lucky as it could of been worse. Do you think it’s a form of cheating? Or am I going crazy?! Ever since then the trust has completely gone and I can’t seem to trust him. HELP!

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 05/09/2018 10:32

I should be lucky as it could of been worse
HOW??? How does it get worse than that???
Yes it's cheating.
It's happened to me and he was gone!
Do NOT put up with this.
He doesn't even regret it.
He doesn't think it's a big deal.
This will NOT improve.
He WILL cheat on you.
Get rid.
He's a lying, cheating scumbag and you can do far far better!

FlowerpotFairyHouse · 05/09/2018 10:39

It is cheating and I wouldn't forgive it.

I wouldn't forgive any cheating no matter the duration/seriousness of the relationship - I've got more self respect that that. I don't see any virtue at all in placing my need for a man above my self respect.

Bluebell9 · 05/09/2018 11:46

The only way a relationship can get over cheating is if the guilty party is open, honest and admits what they did is wrong and is willing to do whatever they need to to make it better.
It wont work if they try and shift the blame, minimise and go on the offensive.

LIZS · 05/09/2018 11:51

If he doesn't accept he crossed a line then you will never rebuild trust in him. Noone does that without hope or expectation of it developing into something more, assuming it had not already.

SocialPiranha · 05/09/2018 12:04

It is cheating and you’re not lucky to have him because “it could have been worse”. The fact he actually said that means he’s not even sorry and will do it again. Basically staying with him is flogging a dead horse.

And in answer to your other question I did stay with my ex for years even though he repeatedly behaved the same way your partner is. All that happened was not only did he keep on cheating he disrespected me in other ways too. Because he might as well, I was going to let him get away with it anyway. And he’s a cunt too obviously. He was abusive too and cheating was just another way to hurt me.

It’s very empowering when you walk away from someone like this and they they stop having the ability to hurt you.

Kinraddie · 05/09/2018 13:06

Get out now. Find someone who loves and respects you. Someone that sends those sorts of pics is not going to be a reliable, loving, supportive long term prospect. Total loser.

OutPinked · 05/09/2018 13:27

You should be lucky because it could have been worse? Hmm. WTAF.

Adora10 · 05/09/2018 13:34

You really have to ask, yes it's cheating, it's also seedy as fuck; he then has he cheek to say you are lucky, carry on at your peril, you're a fool if you do.

Mk1234 · 07/09/2018 18:27

Get rid while you can, you'll regret ot later if you dont. Dont invest any more of your time on this ungrateful being. You are worth so much more. Trust me you will find someone better that you deserve xx

Isitovernow · 07/09/2018 19:02

Ever since then the trust has completely gone and I can’t seem to trust him. HELP!

I'd be more along the lines of 'ever since then, the relationship is completely gone.'

That's unforgiveable carry-on!

HerRoyalNotness · 07/09/2018 19:12

The cheating part does t come from the pic specifically, but the fact that he has turned his attention and effort to another person. What goes through these idiots minds that they think this is an acceptable way carry on in their relationship?

Maybugger · 07/09/2018 19:22

Grade A tosser.
I'm sure you can do better than stay with this idiot.

Honeyroar · 07/09/2018 21:29

What trust??

He sends naked pictures and tells you it's not cheating and you're lucky it's nothing worse!! He's not remotely guilty or sorry. He will do it again, or worse. Why would you bother putting an ounce of work into "repairing" this relationship. He's not.

CountTessa · 07/09/2018 21:33

Why would you forgive him? It wasn't an accident that his phone took a photo of his privates and accidentally sent it to someone else...

Why do you need to forgive? He needs to be doing the apologies, and if he's not, which he isn't, then why aren't you giving him a hard time and kicking him out?

Rosiepicnic · 07/09/2018 21:37

Yes it is cheating & i am divorcing my husband for doing exactly the same thing.

Absolutely get rid, I wish I'd acted a hell of a lot sooner when I saw the warning signs!

BeenThereDone · 07/09/2018 21:42

I'm sorry love but if your first answer back is about forgiving him then you are setting yourself up for even more heartbreak. You will continue to be 'lucky' as he will have the green light there to send as many dick pics as he likes... He's already cheating, do yourself a favour, save yourself years of suspicion and mistrust. Your self esteem will take such a hammering and he doesn't care...

FetchezLaVache · 07/09/2018 21:50

For him to respond in such a way after being totally busted sending a dick pic and sexts to another woman suggests to me that he is not a kind man even in the normal run of things, OP.

You're not going to get the trust back, because he needs to earn it back and he's made it quite clear he's not even going to bother trying.

If you take him back when he's quite literally told you he's not sorry for what he did, he will take it as permission to send pictures of his penis to other women and, in the fullness of time, this will no doubt extent to sticking it up their foofs as well.

Get out now - don't waste another 4 years on this cunt.

vanillapieandicecream · 07/09/2018 22:30

No, no, no, that is completely unacceptable. He should be apologizing like crazy.

Soontobe60 · 07/09/2018 22:32

Ask his mum what she thinks about this behaviour, in front of him!

MyKingdomForBrie · 07/09/2018 22:34

In this situation I'd say forgiveness requires remorse.

He's not sorry and he will do it again, and more.

golddustwomen · 07/09/2018 22:37

How fucking disrespectful! And to tell you you should feel lucky as could have been worse. Bin the CF!!

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 08/09/2018 02:01

You can forgive him but if he doesn’t think it’s wrong he’ll do it again and again. He doesn’t care at all about you. You can’t salvage this relationship.

MistressDeeCee · 08/09/2018 03:59

Yuk. Creep

If this post is even real I can't believe you're going crazy over this. I hope someone plasters his name and dick pics all over the internet. It's very easy to screenshot stuff. Perhaps then both you and he will realise how nasty and unacceptable his behaviour is.

tillytop · 08/09/2018 04:11

Yeah sorry, it's a form of cheating. So first he cheats, then he tries to lower your self esteem. This is emotional abuse. You deserve hell of a lot better. Please dump him and tell his family why, on the way out.Flowers

December2018 · 08/09/2018 04:34

Do not forgive him!!!
You let him do it once he will think it's ok to do it again!
.... a bit like if you let your dog piss in the house... it will soon start shitting on the couch!

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