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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is sending a naked picture cheating?

106 replies

Tilly30 · 04/09/2018 23:24

My boyfriend of 4 years sent a picture of his d*ck to another women along with sex talk etc. He denies that it’s cheating and I should be lucky as it could of been worse. Do you think it’s a form of cheating? Or am I going crazy?! Ever since then the trust has completely gone and I can’t seem to trust him. HELP!

OP posts:
Pippylou · 04/09/2018 23:58

Why the fuck would you forgive him?

He's already told you it's ok to send pics to other women, what would you accept as ok next? This ends up with "I accidentally fell into her..."

AnyFucker · 05/09/2018 00:00

Who are all this faux naive "women" asking if outright cheating could possibly be so ?

Howhot · 05/09/2018 00:00

It is imo but does the label matter?

You need to decide if this is the kind of behaviour you will accept in your relationship. It would be over for me.

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/09/2018 00:01

I wouldn't want the dick back, never mind the trust.

subspace · 05/09/2018 00:07

Woohoo high five four being such a lucky lady! Your boyfriend sends dick pics to other women, he's a keeper alright! Said nobody ever. Hmm

LMDC · 05/09/2018 00:19

He clearly doesn't respect you and you don't trust him - doesn't sound like a great relationship to me. You deserve to be loved and respected in a relationship and shouldn't settle for anything less.

Newerversion · 05/09/2018 00:20

Of course it is cheating! He is touting himself to at least one other woman.
When did the lines get so blurred that anyone would need to ask this question?

BastardGoDarkly · 05/09/2018 00:26

I just read this out to dh in bed. He laughed in an almost terrified way.

Op, this is fucked up, you know that right?

Bimgy85 · 05/09/2018 00:31

Omfg get rid! 'It could've been worse' would have me gone already

Scabetty · 05/09/2018 00:35

If he can’t see that this is wrong and grovel a bit then get rid.

BastardGoDarkly · 05/09/2018 00:40

Grovel a bit? Hmm

Racecardriver · 05/09/2018 00:43

No. I don't think that anything other than sex is cheating. That said its still wrong. If you don't have children just leave him.

moredoll · 05/09/2018 00:43

Get rid

userxx · 05/09/2018 00:56

I wouldn't say it's cheating but it's definitely crossed the line and you need to fuck him off as given half an opportunity he will cheat. What a dickhead.

UnscriptedTruth · 05/09/2018 01:55

Only dicks send dicks pics.

delphguelph · 05/09/2018 02:29

You need to dump him and find someone else.

SongBirdsKeepSinging · 05/09/2018 02:39

It is definitely cheating to me. Dh did the same thing 3 years ago, except he was on a dating site and had messaged a lot of women and given his number to several of them to exchange pics and sex talk. It was really hard to move on and start trusting him again. He didn't think that it was cheating until I found out and he saw how devastated I was but then he completely agreed with my point of view. I hope you're ok op.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 05/09/2018 02:41

I wouldn't want the dick back, never mind the trust

Of course it’s cheating. To be honest his reaction would be almost as big a problem anyway. I would be spending zero time and energy on getting the trust back.

ALittleBitofVitriol · 05/09/2018 02:48

Errr, if his defense is 'it's not technically cheating' then he's a disrespectful loser. Mature people, who love and respect their partners, don't try to sidle riiiiiiiight up as close as possible to the technically cheating line.

Yes it's cheating. It's also vile, immature, disrespectful, pathetic...

Angelf1sh · 05/09/2018 04:46

Why are you trying to get the trust back? He’s cheated on you (and he knows it because of his use of the word “worse”. To do something worse, you must first have done something bad) and then he’s rude to you about it! Gaslighting is an even bigger red flag than cheating and if you stay with him then over time he will do lots of things that are “worse”.

Monty27 · 05/09/2018 04:50

He should take himself and knob elsewhere.
WTA?

Shoxfordian · 05/09/2018 04:50

Of course he's cheating
Get rid of him, you can do better

AgentJohnson · 05/09/2018 06:06

You didn’t cheat and you aren’t the one not being remorseful at being caught cheating. Why are you so desperate to stay in a relationship with a man who doesn’t give a shit about sexual fidelity and truth?

This is who he is, you wouldn’t be the first or last woman, to put the blinkers on with regards to their partners fidelity. However, the price for doing so, is losing respect for yourself and that’s a pretty high price to pay for a man who cares so little for you.

The balls in your court because he’s made it very clear he doesn’t have a problem with his behaviour and no you can’t make someone care when they don’t.

trojanpony · 05/09/2018 08:37

Just so hard to get the trust back x
has anyone ever got the trust back?

Dick pics & sexting and then when caught he thinks you should be lucky it wasn’t worse 🤦🏻‍♀️

Please listen carefully:
Don’t bother trying to get the “trust back”.
He doesn’t give a shiny shit about you.
Think about it - Even when caught he couldn’t be bothered to apologise or grovel.
Also consider why your self esteem is so low you are willing to up with this kind of nonsense. why you would allow him to treat you so badly? And why would you choose to continue to live like this?

0hCrepe · 05/09/2018 08:40

Who care what he says it is? If you don’t like it don’t put up with it. Don’t let him tell you how you should feel and what you should do. Use your own mind.