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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this a break up message

91 replies

Phoenix39 · 31/08/2018 21:50

Ok I’m confused and I’m normally pretty sensible...been seeing a guy for 6-7 months both have a lot of issues both sides but we got on well together and just enjoyed each other...but the last month or so things seemed to be getting closer...anyway cut to yesterday and I receive the following message..at first I just though he wanted to explain himself but now (and I am guilty of overthinking) I’m wondering if he’s actually calling it a day??
‘Hey gorgeous! How you doing!?. I just want to say that I’m sorry I’ve been a bit distant for the last week or so, it isn’t anything you’ve done, sometimes everything going on in my life just gets a bit much for me & I have to step back a bit. Hope you understand. You ok?, busy day?xxxx😘

I should say I haven’t heard from him today, which is not so unusual but I’ve also WhatsApp him asking for clarification and get only one grey tick to say sent but not received - blocked?
What do you all think?

OP posts:
peekyboo · 31/08/2018 21:53

He's not breaking up with you. Did you reply?

ToEarlyForDecorations · 31/08/2018 21:55

He's apologising for being distant. I don't think it's a break up.

adayatthebeach · 31/08/2018 21:55

I think your overthinking again but I’d do the same.

Gncq · 31/08/2018 21:58

Not breaking up. He's asking if you're OK and apologising for being distant.

SleepFreeZone · 31/08/2018 21:59

I wouldn’t havecdudpected he wanted to break up with you, quite the opposite.

newnamechange1234 · 31/08/2018 22:05

As far as I understand it, 1 grey tick means you have sent, 2 grey ticks means it has been delivered but unread, and two blue ticks means it has been read.

So maybe he has no signal/battery died and it’s been undelivered just now?
No reason to think it’s been blocked. 🤗

Thinkingofausername1 · 31/08/2018 22:06

It sounds to me like he's married and she has found out what he's been doing.

Smidge001 · 31/08/2018 22:06

Definitely not a break up message. Can't imagine what sort of message yours was in response though, asking him to clarify?!

Don't really understand what clarification was needed, and I'd probably be more perturbed by your response than the original message! Grin

Nettletheelf · 31/08/2018 22:09

I think that he’s got one foot out of the door. You can do better!

KlutzyDraconequus · 31/08/2018 22:11

Hes saying,

"You're OK, but someone better might come along, if I tell you I'm sometimes distant, you won't realise I'm chatting to other people..."

C0untDucku1a · 31/08/2018 22:14

What are his issues?

He is telling you he might go quiet on you. I agree with klutz

HereIgoagainxx · 31/08/2018 22:16

I don't know how you could read that as a breakup message. He calls you gorgeous, adds lots of kisses and is engaging with you by asking how your day is going and expecting a reply.

Yankeescot · 31/08/2018 22:45

What was your reply?

Ohyesiam · 31/08/2018 22:48

Sounds like an apology not a break up. How did you respond.

Goldilocks3Bears · 31/08/2018 22:50

Give him space and stop texting. You’ve been going out for months so it’s unlikely that he’s married like someone suggested.

It’s normal to have little freak outs as the relationship deepens.

Angelf1sh · 31/08/2018 22:54

I wouldn’t have said that was a breakup message but the WhatsApp thing is slightly worrying. Can you still see the avatar and “was last on” info? If so , you haven’t been blocked.

PeterPiperPickedSeaShells · 31/08/2018 22:58

Going against the grain here, but I would read that as a cowardly break up message but hoping to keep the door open for a FWB type arrangement

userofthiswebsite · 31/08/2018 22:59

No the message sounds fine to me. Doesn't want to break up at all.

I know exactly what you mean about the one tick freak out though!

But try and leave your phone for a while, go watch a movie or something and by the time you come back to it, it'll probably have delivered.

CherryCherryCherry · 31/08/2018 23:03

Doesn't sound like a break up msg just a msg saying had a few issues but staying in touch with you. Think yr reading too much into it OP. He wouldn't ask how yr day has been if he didn't want a response would he? Just breathe.... Smile

CarolDanvers · 31/08/2018 23:34

I'd read that as him not being that interested but you'll do to someone else comes along so he will keep yo sweet in the meantime. If he was really interested he'd have called or there'd be an arrangement to meet in that message.

dragonflyflew · 01/09/2018 00:13

To me that's a precursor to a break up message.
it's the sort of thing I'd write if I was winding down a relationship and I've had similar messages from people who are about to end things with me.
Personally I'd start detaching from him in order not to get hurt later on.
Play it super cool until you've seen him and sussed out his words and body language in real life.
Once you've ascertained what he's got in mind It's up to you whether you want to stay with someone who could possibly be non committal and distant and whether or not it's worth persevering with.

Funicorn · 01/09/2018 00:21

Fascinating to see the myriad of interpretations here .

SoleBizzz · 01/09/2018 00:25

You are not his priority. I agree with the sentiment that he has lost interest in you and is dating other people. I'd dump him, ghost him.

stevesmithsmum · 01/09/2018 00:30

So, everything from "he’s sending kisses and asking how your day is going" to "he’s married"! Wow!

crimsonlake · 01/09/2018 01:50

Sounds to me as if he is hedging his bets, so do not put all your eggs in one basket here. If he was really in to you nothing would stop him, excuses, excuses....