Is this a break up message

[Phoenix39]

Ok I’m confused and I’m normally pretty sensible...been seeing a guy for 6-7 months both have a lot of issues both sides but we got on well together and just enjoyed each other...but the last month or so things seemed to be getting closer...anyway cut to yesterday and I receive the following message..at first I just though he wanted to explain himself but now (and I am guilty of overthinking) I’m wondering if he’s actually calling it a day??
‘Hey gorgeous! How you doing!?. I just want to say that I’m sorry I’ve been a bit distant for the last week or so, it isn’t anything you’ve done, sometimes everything going on in my life just gets a bit much for me & I have to step back a bit. Hope you understand. You ok?, busy day?xxxx😘

I should say I haven’t heard from him today, which is not so unusual but I’ve also WhatsApp him asking for clarification and get only one grey tick to say sent but not received - blocked?
What do you all think?

Just read your update and even more like my ex! There shouldn't be lots of issues at this stage of a relationship, it's the honeymoon period. He's not emotionally available and is fishing around telling you. I'd move on, he's wasting your time

Lol by the sounds of it he’s the same as a lot of people on here...I did ask him outright from his first message if he’s wanting to call it a day or just wanting space and got the second message back which totally confused me...why is it the complicated ones always seem to hurt the most!🤔🤪 why not just be straight about things?

He's weak that's why. He's hedging his bets and wanting to keep you around by being non-committal but giving you the power to end things by his behaviour. He's too much of a wuss to do it himself so is getting you to fo it. He's playing the push-pull game. There's no winners in that. The relationship is going nowhere, cut your losses.

So you actually asked him a straight question and you got that emoji-strewn bollocks in reply?

Yes, he is a coward. Also, I thought that his second message sounded whiny: ‘I’m sensitive and special, nobody knows what I have to endure’.

If he were a real man, he’d have answered your question honestly, face to face or at least by phone. If he really liked you, then on reading your ‘do you want to call it a day or do you just want space?’ message, he’d have been straight on the phone reassuring you.

You can do better. Don’t let this idiot dent your confidence.

I think he's a time waster. Move on, OP.

OP have you considered dating other men in the meantime? It might be worth it but also be upfront with him about it and say that you will be casual dating and if and when he has a grip on his life the two of you can start dating again.

No use waiting around for a man who obviously has bigger issues to deal with or he could be stringing you along. It is a fine line.

I don't think it's the kind of thing he should send in a message. He should chat with you by calling you or discuss it when he sees you.

Did anyone see this in The Independent? Some of us who have had depression or anxiety might be a little more open more need although he may of course just be a dickhead.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/life-style/depression-impossible-task-symptoms-sadness-twitter-a8515436.html%3famp

If communicating with the OP was this man’s ‘impossible task’ he wouldn’t be fobbing her off with vague messages. He wouldn’t be responding at all.

Nettleheelf I don’t know how’s you can say that? As I’ve said unthread, this is something I do, my mother was the same too. In the article it specifically refers to how one day you can be ok to text, other days it’ll be emails, it changes sometimes or maybe it doesn’t but it take a lot to be able to do even the simplest tasks and you can push away the people you love most for a variety of reasons. I didn’t read his messages as vague, I read it as completely upfront in that he gets overwhelmed with life sometimes and needs to step back for no other agenda other than self preservation.

Of course, he could still be an arsehole but the wording used resonated with me as it’s almost word for word how I’d put it. I appreciate I’m in the minority but that’s why I’ve felt it important to post.

I’ve always said that if me and my DH were both to post about some of the dreadful times we’ve been through in the last 24 years we’d have been given all the usual emphatic LTB advice many tines over rather than realising life is shit sometimes and can take some working though. That said, we both trust that the other isn’t an arsehole so if things aren’t great there’ll be a reason other than that they aren’t worth the hassle.

All sounds like very hard work when you're only 6 months in. I'd be giving this one a swerve

Here is how I can say it: the concept of the ‘impossible task’, which might strike the sufferer at any time leaving him or her powerless, and yet lift the next day to be replaced by another ‘impossible task’, really is a twat’s charter, isn’t it?

“Sorry gorgeous, I can’t give you a straight answer to your ‘are you breaking up with me’ question because today it feels like an impossible task. I can just about manage to send you a crap non-commital message full of emojis, though. Please do not contact me whilst I work through this difficult time by sharking other women on Tinder. Ciao!”

But to me those messages are very clear, he lives her, he’s got mushy head and needs to recharge and hit the reset button.

How are you supposed to word it?

Of course he could just be an arsehole using this as an excuse, but many of us who have had depression or anxiety will relate to this.

What do you suggest @Joysmum? What should the OP do?

The OP has tried to get answers from him. It doesn't look like he has given any indication that he suffers from depression or anxiety, and if he does, then honesty would be the best approach.

it isn’t anything you’ve done, sometimes everything going on in my life just gets a bit much for me & I have to step back a bit

Lweji I thought this was as clear as it could be, that’s why I asking what others would write instead.

I would definitely read it as a break up message; he apologises for being distant and then says he has to step back a bit. I would personally reply with "yes, I'm fine" and get on with my life.