Is this a break up message

[Phoenix39]

Ok I’m confused and I’m normally pretty sensible...been seeing a guy for 6-7 months both have a lot of issues both sides but we got on well together and just enjoyed each other...but the last month or so things seemed to be getting closer...anyway cut to yesterday and I receive the following message..at first I just though he wanted to explain himself but now (and I am guilty of overthinking) I’m wondering if he’s actually calling it a day??
‘Hey gorgeous! How you doing!?. I just want to say that I’m sorry I’ve been a bit distant for the last week or so, it isn’t anything you’ve done, sometimes everything going on in my life just gets a bit much for me & I have to step back a bit. Hope you understand. You ok?, busy day?xxxx😘

I should say I haven’t heard from him today, which is not so unusual but I’ve also WhatsApp him asking for clarification and get only one grey tick to say sent but not received - blocked?
What do you all think?

It totally depends on the person.

That's why I'm curious what you think OP..

Why not text asking “Are you breaking up with me? Because I am unsure where I stand.”

@joysmum hope you’re ok. You are right. The go to for a lot of mumsnetters is “he’s not into you if he doesn’t respond immediately/make time/etc” but the truth is we all deal separately with time, especially introverts and people with anxiety.

He is apologising for having been a bit distant this past week. THAT IS ALL. Text him back, say you understand, it’s all good etc

Definitely don’t text “are you breaking up with me”

I read the message again and it is full of the right stuff. Many men use emojis more than women - there was even an article on it somewhere. I hope you’ve heard from him by now OP?

I also don’t see the problem with “gorgeous”. If he had texted “so, Amanda, how are things with you?” I would have found that weirder. If he had texted “sexy” or other fuck buddy stuff that would have been suss as well. Gorgeous is nice.

It’s hard to gauge without knowing his normal texting style though.

Don't second guess! Ring him/meet him and talk. You will then have much more of an answer.

How are you OP? Have you managed to chat with him re message ?

So just to update you all, my message did end up going through and I got a reply that night - I’ll copy some of it below but I’ve had to remove some personal stuff in there but some background is there is serious illness in the close family and also children / ex issues...hope it makes sense.
‘ I was just saying that I’ve got so much going on with everything else that I’m sorry for being rude & not replying to all your messages, and that if I’m in that mode I haven’t got a lot of time to do much else..☹️😔. Sometimes my head is just in bits and I don’t want to talk via text or phone, and sometimes I just don’t want to talk to anybody. I’m not trying to make u feel unimportant.. you are lovely & gorgeous!!😘xxxx’
I replied with a supportive message but have not heard anything back sense then..I’m thinking I’ll just give him space

Well if I was getting messages like that after 8 mths I would be moving on. I know the generation now does everything via what’s app or social media. Easy to hide behind a keyboard and soften messages with emojis and words like gorgeous. Face to face conversations can usually elicit a far more honest outcome. His messages are wooly at best and lack any clarity about next steps. I don’t know what issues you both have but your relationship may have simply evolved into a supporting friendship rather than loving relationship. Anyway you know him better than us on MN.

I think he quite likes you but he just doesn't have time for you or a relationship. Personally I would politely back off with an equally "nice but I won't be seeing you" message. Eg "that's ok, hope things settle down for you."
Then I'd not get in touch with him again. He's in a frame of mind where he'll mess with your emotions. (Either that or he's just a player, but neither of those scenarios are what you need.)

Weird.

Personally speaking, when I've been through hard times, chatting to a person I fancy and like etc ha s always helped. I also don't get the 'dont have time' thing? 30seconds to txt a person is hardly tough to find.

Nust move on. He isnt in any position to be in a relationship atm.

My ex was like this. He was indeed withdrawing from the relationship, he’d actually met someone else and was mulling over ending things with me and starting up with her. It hurt like hell as I had no explanation.
I’m cynical about the whole ‘space’ thing. I’m not needy or clingy but I’d hope if my partner had issues he’d let me help him even if it’s just talking, rather than pulling away. To me that’s a sign that he’s just not as invested as you are. Sorry

Well the first message I thought nothing of it but would def be wary of the second message

Yeah I agree. He isn’t in the right place for a relationship.

I think it will fizzle out

At 8 months, I'd expect the person I was in a relationship with to want to confide in me and seek support if they needed it, not withdraw. It doesn't look well for future relationships.

Not breaking up - just asking for a bit of space. Best thing might be too leave him be for a bit ... say you'll wait to hear from him when he's in a better space. Men can be a bit like this ... John Gray is quite good on this (though shockingly sexist sometimes) www.marsvenus.com/blog/john-gray/did-his-rubber-band-break

Of course, just going off radar whenever he feels like it and not caring about your needs is a different matter, but from his text it sounds like he is being considerate

Find someone without all this baggage - issues with ex and children are massive red flags for me. You need someone straightforward with no issues.

@karting so discount anyone who has never been in a relationship or has kids?
I personally am extremely suspicious of any men in my age group (40-50s) who has NOT had serious relationships and if you have kids involved then there will be some dramas from time to time.

Still sounds exactly how I am. Luckily my dh, dd, friends and family all know this and don’t try to make it anything other the the coping mechanism it is for me

Just give him space OP sometimes when dealing with so much having to deal with a relationship on top can be a bit overwhelming.

Goldilock I didn’t say discount anyone who has kids or an ex, I have both, just that the ‘issues’ around them are a red flag.

You need someone straightforward with no issues

The only people I know like that are those who are married and have been for a long time.

Good luck to anyone holding out for anyone with no issues

Honestly I feel he's letting you down gently from that message. I'd start to think about moving on.

Sounds word for word like my ex. Does his name begin with D and does he work in finance?