Husband a selfish twat

[dellacucina]

Sorry, but it's true.

He is basically really, really selfish and I am really tired of it. Has anyone here found a way to come to terms with an essentially selfish man?

His main flaws are that he insists on having his way and he is quite grumpy and critical. We have a DD2 together.

Shambu: that's me! Thanks for this. I think he has done a lot of things that are objectively selfish and horrible. It feels like I am slowly creeping toward accepting that his actions reveal his nature - but part of me continues to hope.

That book has been recommended by many others on here. I should probably order it.

Do order it. Then read it. Quite telling if you are too scared to do those two things for fear of what you know you will find.

Paradoxically, I'm encouraged by this thread.

When I read the last thread I thought you may be one of those women who cling on and try and make it work for years, becoming more and more unhappy, before throwing in the towel.

Instead, you're asserting yourself and acknowledging just how selfish he is, and coming to the end of your patience.

I really am coming to the end of my patience. I actually am not a person to live with misery indefinitely. But I do want to give things a fair shot, in part because I do love him (though this is dwindling), and in part because it just sounds like such a painful process to go through a divorce. I also don't love the idea of being a single mum and having to deal with either dating or accepting life as a middle-aged celibate. (Though frankly, we almost never have sex unless I throw myself at him and this is really harming my self esteem.)

Rabbits: not scared, just lazy! I also don't know where to have it sent. Maybe work.

Amazon pick up locker

Good call

Update: we are now on holiday and he has said he is really trying hard to be nice to me. Overall he is being more nice and decent than usual. But I am finding that my hurt and anger over his past treatment of me may be insurmountable. I have been hurt by him so many times that it feels like I have just shut him out. Last night we were out for a drink and he said that I am not being not nice, but I am not being nice either.